Can you drink a Galvin of root beer? What cases go to Small Claims Whitelighter Court? What do you do about Bugle Fingers? These questions and more are brought up but may never be answered.

It’s snoozes aplenty when a cult comes to town and Harry becomes a super old man, who is normal. Can the girls save him before he turns into oatmeal?

Mel wears gold lamé and dropkicks Charity like a straight white male. Meanwhile, we find out just what’s part of a Charmed One’s balanced breakfast.

Mel and Maggie switch bodies, Parker considers switching from guitar to ukulele, and Macy forgets to tell Galvin that Jumanji is off.

Macy brings her favorite TV characters to life and I desperately try to think of an appropriate episode title that doesn’t relate to Maggie’s, er…enLIGHTening situation.

Maggie begins her transformation into full Phoebe One, Mel snoozes through the ep, and Macy and Galvin see a Miss Cleo about a dolphin.

Macy digs for answers to her (dead) past and meets the K-Mart-keeper, Maggie goes to a party and orders some margs, and Harry is sad because he didn’t have a cooler son. But perhaps the biggest twist of all…Lucy is a sleeper agent!

Maggie joins a singing ensemble with a sassy teacher who wants to kill the audience softly with his song. They encounter their greatest enemy, Jean-Ralphio. An outfit so bonkers appears I have to pause for like five minutes to recover.

Harry’s stuck in Hell-jail, Galvin broke his leg and gained a personality, and Maggie fake cries because Parker wants to know if she has the lecture notes. How much recap is too much recap? What is a good portmanteau for Macy/Galvin? All I know is it smells like white privilege in here.