13 Comments

  • SinValor
    Old Man
    Comments: 3

    Great job, Phelous!

     Was there ever a reason for the reporter to be in the movie, or was that supposed to be Uwe Boll’s character? Also, those child stealing cowboy vampires are god awful, they make Edward look appealing. No wonder Boll can’t direct for shit, or even get 3/4 of the source material right.

     Any chance you could review Postal after the Bloodrayne series?

     

    • SsnakeBite
      SsnakeBite
      CUUUUT
      Comments: 76

      Honestly, I actually liked Postal. It’s pretty funny (mostly intentionally), looks and feels like the game, the story is decent and most surprisingly for a freaking Boll movie, I thought the main characters were really cool. Of course, you’ve got to like crass, south-park style humor, but it worked for me. Also, Dave Foley steals the show.

      • SelfPityG2
        SelfPityG2
        NewbieDotCom.Com
        Comments: 10

        Oh, yeah. Dave Foley most definitely stole the show in the Postal movie….

        …with his penis…

         

        No, seriously. The last thing I expected to see in a Postal movie was Dave Foley’s penis.

  • Steve3
    I'm THE BEST!
    Comments: 104

    I was going to say this must be a prequel, then I remembered that the first one took place in vaguely medieval times, so nvm. Isn’t shaky cam supposed to evoke a cinema verite-documentary style? Why would anyone use that in a vampire/western?

  • Octo Seven
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 37

    Amazing how of the two movies with Deliverance in their title, the one that features a man being raped whilst being told to squeel like a pig,  is easier to watch. 

  • kagesonofbaator
    kagesonofbaator
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 8

    Loved the green screen falling down bit, next we get nazis oh ya.

  • Voltekka
    Voltekka
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 6

    Those are some pretty nice looking horses.

     

    That’s all I got.

  • Johro
    Johro
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 25

    Everyone enjoys Phelan trashing horrible movies, but these rank among the ones where, even the reviews, are hard to watch because the movies are so poorly made(no, I’m not going to critique the film here, that’s his job).  I thought the review was good though and I absolutely loved the green screen bit.  I was not expecting that at all.

  • stonedXmonkeysXhero
    stonedXmonkeysXhero
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 22

    LOL THAT WAS A CLEAVER THING YA DID WITH THE WATCH… I HOPE I WASNT THE ONLY PERSON WHO NOTICED

  • likalaruku
    likalaruku
    Completely Useless Now
    Comments: 934

    Better title: Calamity Rayne.

     

     

    If you pretend that the two movies are completely unrelated, this movie is the less awful of the two.

  • vjc0810
    Old Man
    Comments: 1

    Hey Phelous, did you know that in a game called Postal 3 (you’ve probably heard of it anyway) you can choose to KILL UWE BOLL?!?!

     

  • Batphil
    Batphil
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 23

    I saw your review for this a few times already (Well Done) and I just thought about it. Does she just Carry around those no Shit Society necklaces to hand out to the soon to be dead people. And also does she like take them back when someone dies so she can give it to another soon to be dead person.  It just seems kind of stupid but i wanted to know if there was AT LEAST and explanation for that. The only explanation I can think of is that when she joined Madsen wasn’t giving a damn and so he just handed her a shit ton. Madsen: “Here you go Rayne… Now you are part of the No Shit Society”/// Rayne: “You gave me way more than one.”/// Madsen: “Ah whatever your going to be the last member soon so you will need to do some recruiting.”// And wait …. Since Rayne was the last person in the no Shit Society in the First movie and everyone else died How the Fuck did Mr.Brimstone become a member without her knowledge. Maybe she just hands them out like candy. Whatever I’m just Nitpicking really but i was curious if there was any explanation for any of this. Otherwise that movie is worse than I could have Imagined.

  • paintedwallpaper
    paintedwallpaper
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 9

    god this movie sucked sooooo bad, and ive onlyy seen the review.  this was tough to watch, i may just bypass the third review.  am i allowed to do that