If you die in the review, you DIE FOR REAL!
A killer video game. I had a feeling you would get to this sometime. Though, I didn’t Malcom in the Middle would be in this one. Still, I hope you live though this. What ever is up for grabs next week, can’t be as bad as this…can it?
NOOOOOOOO!! I’ve seen this movie!!! nooo Phelous!! don’t do it!!! even you don’t deserve this!!!! TTATT!!!
noooo…. oh Rebot!! I love that serious! o w o
Loved the Stay Alive Nintendo game! Seems kinda short, though.
I think that might be a new record for biggest asshole character yet, moving on to a new girl before his dead girlfriend is even cold. Was the girlfriend strung up and bled like the girls in the legend were, by the way?
What game were the cards from?
Whoa, that was your most realistic-looking blood yet. Don’t be dead for reals!
Ahhh! You need to keep those curtains closed!
Yeah I better keep trying to get better at that Stay Alive game.
She was hung upside down there but she just gets her throat slit and that’s it.
The cards are from the Nightmare game also in the background of this review. (The game also goes by the name Atmosphere)
Lol, I had Atmosfear back in the day. The acting in that videotape was awesome!
If you could just get a chain, you’d be fine.
Seems a waste to kill one of your only girl characters that way and not at least have a tub or something underneath so that the whole Elizabeth Bathory thing wasn’t completely random.
Ah, thanks. It looked like it said “chance” on the back, and thought Monopoly’s gotten pretty dark.
As always another awesome review Phelous. The sole reason I’m glad shitty horror movies like this exsist is because you make them so entertaining with your reviews. And the Lordkat cameo was great, your going to die, a lot.
Ahhh Stay Alive, the only other film I fell asleep in the theaters other than 2003’s The Hulk.
I don’t remember the end of that movie being so stupid… oh, wait. That’s because I fell asleep.
Asshole character moved on to the new girl pretty fast, but I think the woman from 2012 still wins for fastest love interest rebound.
I loved Lord Kat’s cameo; he does dismissive disinterest so well. I loved your Silent Hill dork out; so pedantic and yet so funny. Your death was funny as always, but also very sad in this video- especially the line in the stinger where you say that dying feels different this time. I found that a bit disturbing. Disturbing is a a good thing though; it works here. Fish in a Spaceship abandoning you was hysterical, though. Talk about an asshole character.
Anyway, great review. And, now you don’t have to hear “Are you going to do ‘Stay Alive’?” from every other person. What’s the next film people will be begging you to do, I wonder.
Haha yeah Jason did an awesome job, cracks me up every time with the “yeah until you win or some shit, I don’t care”.
That damn FIAS never helps me!
Yeah Stay Alive had to be one of the top requests, it did make for a pretty fun review to do though.
First, always awesome to see Ace Attorney referenced. Nightmare, too.
Second, I remember seeing this movie’s commmercials on TV and thinking it was stupid right from the get-go. I didn’t realize they tried to reference actual video games in it, I guess to try and make it seem like “hey guys we really do play video games and know how to make a movie about them!” When are movie-makers going to realize how technology works? First Pulse, now this. Seriously.
Also, again with the creepy guy in the window. Can’t quite tell if it’s you or the Nurse Phelous or LordKat… will be interesting to see who it is next week if that’s addressed.
Another fantastic review! This one was up there with your Pulse 2006 review, which has been one of my favourites so far and had me in tears with laughter.
I was playing Ninja Gaiden Sigma on master ninja yesterday, so I died, alot. So after watching this review I ran out to my garden and picked up a load of roses, just in case a member of the spider clan or a fiend decides to sneak up on me. I’ll be ready for them!!
Great review. I remember seeing this movie on tv a while back and thinking it would make for a good phelous.Also good to see the LordKat cameo, I remember suggesting the ‘you’re gonna die alot’ in the lordkatchat to you, but I’m sure you allready had that planned for a while. Anyway, I realy enjoyed it.
Though I think the review could have used some more Malcolm in the Middle jokes.
Haha yeah I knew when I had Jason on I HAD to have him tell me I was going to die A LOT!
Your reviews are even more enjoyable when it’s something I’ve already seen beforehand. I remember seeing this on Sci Fi or something a while back, although I must not have been paying full attention, because I don’t remember the parts where they talk to the progammer or Dahlia. One thing though, I wasn’t under the impression that October was the main character’s girlfriend, but rather just a close friend who was kind of jealous of the guy. Although I don’t think the movie made it clear, and it was difficult to tell by their actions. Either way, your complaints were still valid. Another thing I remember that was stupid was the way October died–I think she went into a dark abandoned warehouse alone after seeing or hearing something creepy in there, it was completely asinine. I’ll definitely be watching this one again (the review, not the movie, ha!)
Yeah her death was very weak, don’t know where she was going or why really and if they had just shut the game off….
One of your best yet!
Were you reviewing the unrated version? Because either they cut out a couple of reels for the theatrical version (which I think is what I saw) or the movie is so unmemorable that I had forgotten huge chunks of it. Or both.
Oh, and Doctor Who reference FTW.
I searched it after the review. It was the unrated version. Apparently, they cut a lot of stuff out to get a PG-13. This inculded a subplot, some other character, the couple at the beginning, and the death of the investigator.
Holy poop! A wild Ed Glaser appears! Welcome to Phelousdotcomdotcomdotcom.com, Ed!!!!
Thanks Ed! Yeah it was the unrated version. When I have the choice that’s what I’ll get. Actually surprises me though there seemed to be a good amount added to this one.
Once again great job Phelous, I was actually thinking about when we would see a Phelous/Lord Kat crossover while I was watching his UUW video last week, and here it is!
I looove when crappy horror movies try to include real games in their dialog, because they always get it wrong! I had the same reaction as soon I heard them mention Silent Hill 4, “Okay, let’s see how much you can F this up.” What’s so hard about this anyways, just ask someone, anyone who’s actually played the game, don’t get your stoner intern to look it up on Wikipedia and then try and sound like you know the subject material.
Anyways another awesome video Phelous, hope you regenerate soon! 😀
I didn’t think the Silent Hill discussion was off-topic, at least not by much. Considering this is a movie that’s supposedly all about games/gamers, and seems to have thrown that bit in to show just how game-savvy it was, that was a pretty good way of pointing out that the writers didn’t do their homework in that subject either.
I actually saw this movie once before, but missed the detail of October being Hutch’s girlfriend. Really makes him a dick for moving on to Abigail so darn fast.
Anyway, I really loved the review; the “paused to death” bit almost made me choke on what I was drinking at the time. Hopefully this isn’t your last review, although if it is I understand (wouldn’t want to keep doing these reviews if they stopped being fun for you). Anyway, see you…uh…whenever! 🙂
Edit: I’m not sure why this whole thing got rendered as one giant paragraph.
Remember that i had an hard time taking the malcolm in the middle dude seriously 😛
Or well, taking the whole movie seriously was kinda a problem by itself though:D
He’s annoying, but at least he’s kinda believable…
Angelina Jolie’s kissy brother is the programmer of the magic killer ghost game!
So Phelous has reviewed crappy horror movies where Jon Voight and James Haven get killed…has Angelina been in any?
Just seen The Snob’s review of Dolomite and you die in that review Phelous, killed twice in one week can’t be to good for your health.
Phelous, you are the greatest!
I am always proud to see fellow canadian talent that is so awesome!
Keep up all the amazing work!
I Cheered at the silent hill 1 and 4 refs (Walter!!!<3) I saw this movie and that connection to the SH games didn't occur to me.
I loved it. Looking forward to more!
OH Snap Sub-Zero’s brother in the window at the end!
In the British version that stuff with the developer and the writer was cut out, there was absolutley no refrence to October being his girlfriend, no creepy toilet door scene and there was no image of the NES controller burning in the fire… i watch too many films.
The NES version of Stay Alive must’ve been made by LJN.
i do like this as a fun horror movie to watch on tv. it has three acters i do like frankie, jimmi simpson, and adam goldberg. i think this one of the best movies you’ve reviewed phelous.
Now I know Steven Moffat watches your shows. I’m lookin’ at you, Dream Lord.
phelous you are brilliant and i love the not tomorrow akira yamaoka theme you played when you died and i wished you would have had that for the title credits ;( mainly because i never get sick of listening to that song but anyways great job
finally the sequel to “river city ransom” was “stay alive”? i must have this game as i forsee nothing that can go wrong with this plan!
4:51, is that the Camera Obscura from the Fatal Frame series?
Wow, I must have missed this video when I watched all your reviews for the first time a few years ago, Phelous. This one holds up really well. Your video game knowledge came in handy when making fun of this mess.
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