• electronsexparty
    Comments: 17

    In regards to the monkey, I think the director and/or writer was thinking: “Damn it! We got this monkey and we’re gonna use the hell out him.” And, plus, monkeys = comedy gold. I mean, just thinking the word “monkey” makes me laugh. Surely seeing a monkey on screen lots of times will be funny. Right? 

    I love those stock characters too. You’ve got the-black-guy-who-isn’t-Ice Cubes, the bitchy-Hispanic-woman-who-isn’t J Lo, the evil-incarnate-white-dude, etc. (and, all the cannon fodder too). 

    Nice inclusion of MikeJ on this one. It was fun seeing you two use your epic powers of deadpan on one another. 

    I loved the scenes where you stuck in alternate dialogue, especially when you added in Hudson’s hysterical “GAME OVER MAN” rant. 

    Oh, and I love the alternate subtitle “The Hunt for the Bloody Point.” You think the pointlessness of this movie (and of others you review) is what hurts you the most? 

  • QuetzaDrake
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 38

    It’s just not the same without Jon Voight breaking necks with his thunder thighs.

    And stupid surprised panther will always be better than stupid surprised monkey, Anacondas, no matter how many times you try to shove the thing down our throats.

  • moviebuffmel90
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 22

    Anacondas….what a rip! I remember seeing it when my step-dad did rentals, but by god, I don’t remember that many monkey reactions. Good review and nice twist at the end. Not offten two reviewers get their deserts at the end.

  • RedSarah
    Fighting Steffi Love
    Comments: 171

    I tried to watch this once; I think I fell asleep during the board meeting. Or else the idea that immortality could ever be as popular as erections caused me to faint…

    Is it just me, or did this movie have way more anacondas than the first one (which obviously only had one, the different color comes with level up) but less scenes with them?

    Nice to see MikeJ – be careful of Brits offering you strange drinks!

  • tman523
    Old Man
    Comments: 3

    Awesome as usual. Though I was hoping for the “It’s a monkey!” line that Koopa says in the Super Mario Bros. movie.

  • dawgstar
    Comments: 5

    I about lost it when you reached for the JabbaPhone. Great reveiw.

  • ggbhtg
    Comments: 68

    Aw, I was hoping to see Reptile from Mortal Kombat for some reason! Maybe in the Anacondas 3 review?

  • Lookheed
    Old Man
    Comments: 2

    I never get the cut in quotes 🙁

  • StormyPopsicle
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 34

    Uhh couldn’t they have gone after a more plusable thing instead of a flower? or at least try to genetically engineer this flower like they do corn. Surely they have a sample if they have a picture? Oh wait no. that would make sence.

    “its funny cuz its raining” its not what you said, but how you said it. I just died. Lol.

    Does Jabba make a good phone Phelous?

    Stupid surprised Monkey and stupid surprised panther should start a club, My god lolz.

    Omg when they walked through the water with the snake there. I remember that. As a person who lives in a marshy area and played in them as a kid, You kind of notice movement and such things. Not Anacondas though!! :B

    Wow 30 monkey shots. I despise that monkey. I always have! anyway great veiw thank you for the laughs and flashback you amazing reviwer >:3

  • SilverSycthe
    Old Man
    Comments: 2

    Sorry phelous, but if i don’t say this it will drive me nuts for weeks.

    1) Constricters like anacondas suffocate their prey, but physically preventing their rib cage from expanding and not allowing them to breathe, so that guy would be okay after they got him out of it’s coils.

    2) You could drink spider venom and suffer absolutley no ill effects since venom and poison are two different things, with venom requiring an injection so the protein chain isn’t damaged by the stomach’s acids.

    Like i said before i’m sorry but i have one of those broken minds where not saying anything will drive me to insanity.

  • LochNES
    Comments: 7

    I beleive the reason for taking the spider with them in a bottle was for further study, not for no reason.

  • Dejablue
    Comments: 65

    The dumbest thing about these movies is I’m sure if this company wanted the flower that badly they’d more efficienctly finance the expidition and probably travel a good distance in like a plane or something.  Also there are conveniently no medical supplies.

  • duberry
    Old Man
    Comments: 3

    The ending was hilarious…the power of Jon Voight’s legs is immensly overwhelming.


    EDIT: Whoops, meant to post this on the AnacondA movie. Still, my previous point is still valid.

  • Richter The Eternal
    Richter The Eternal
    Comments: 8

    Despite that it’s a plot point at the beginning the movie, most of the characters tend to go out of their way to ignore it as a sense of importance during the film and ultimately the survivors just forget about it completely in the end. In the made for TV sequels after this film, it’s gets even worse – The flowers are important and not important at the same time. (How the hell does that work???)

  • cRaZyJ21
    Comments: 19

    OH lookie at the ship’s name! Just say it three times and end this zilly thing!

    The monkey is obviously the best actor in this. Hopefully the little fella was paid enough for being in this.


  • M Chambers
    Comments: 67

    What’s so funny is how they constantly refer to going “up river.” Even after they go over a waterfall they still talk about how they were going “up river.”
    When you go over a fxxxing WATERFALL it’s time to abandon the idea that they were ever going “up river.”
    What’s so funny is how no one is angry at the guide about this. “We hired you to take us up river and we went over a waterfall!” No! They continue to talk about going “up river.”
    So this wasn’t a flaw in the character or intentionally a joke, the screenwriters are just too stupid to understand the basic concept of up and down!