• Jun
    Old Man
    Comments: 2

    Just when I think all of the golden films have been reviewed…. there is ALWAYS something new.

    Unrelated: i love your shirt in this video!

  • Aethelred
    Bat Hero
    Comments: 82

    I have got to order that Mario 2 Stranger Things shirt.

    I know it’s from the intro, so they would condense things even in a good movie, but…if the kid apparently has no parents and is so poor that he’s stealing apple juice, maybe your mind shouldn’t leap right to child labor. Offering him a job? Okay, but just give him the damn juice first, and some food. Dumbass shopkeeper.

    • Occam
      A Real Turtles Fighter
      Comments: 36

      Yeah, so dumb that he needs to turn a profit. It’s not the shopkeeper’s fault that CPS doesn’t apparently exist in this universe, but if he goes around handing out food to anyone who tries to steal it, it sends kind of the wrong message.

  • Anno Nimus
    Anno Nimus
    Bat Hero
    Comments: 84

    There was an OK premise for a Christmas special here, but boy howdy was this poorly executed.

  • Marvelfan211
    Prodigy Pet Gym Leader
    Comments: 130

    It’s hard to imagine that actually money was spent on this abomination. Thanks for bringing this thing’s existence to my attention, Phelous. You always find the weirdest shit.

  • SummerLadyDresden
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 24

    Canned apple juice?  The hell????  Looks more like tomato to me.

  • Silverstar
    Comments: 145

    This was the second WTF?! kids’ animated project which was set to launch with a Christmas special I’ve been subjected to recently, the first being Rapsittie Kids: Believe in Santa. At least Rapsittie Kids had something resembling a story; these Goodtimes/Golden Films things come off as so ‘we’re making this up as we go along’ that I have to wonder if the good folks at Goodtimes/Golden even knew what a writer was. That Goodtimes/Golden thought they could franchise this thing got a bigger laugh from me than any of the alleged jokes by the annoying green angel.

  • likalaruku
    Completely Useless Now
    Comments: 934

    The face you made in the title card is a good reaction to the song that was playing.

    Why’d they give the angel dog Scarlet Macaw wings? The story of how that abomination’s parent met would probably have been more interesting.

    Hmmm…Between this & anything by Pixar, I can’t decide which has the creepier bulging eyes.

    Daniel’s voice is a pretty awkward choice, but assuming all of those angels are teenagers, the green one sounds like a crotchety old man.

    Most of the angels have no personality & don’t do much. They could have just cut it down to Barbie & Ghost Butler

    I doubt he could have afforded a $300 veterinarian bill anyway.

    Eaterman looks like Popeye’s Pappy. Dad looks like Jeff Foxworthy.

    But Pheeeeelus, that’s apple cider.

    Congrats on reaching your latest Patreon goal.

  • CyborgPrince
    Fighting Steffi Love
    Comments: 172

    Good gravy. I would not want those guardian angels. They can’t seem to do anything right. Also, the father needs to be locked away for child endangerment. Stupid hippie.

    I think you’re right in that they probably just made shit up as they went along. Nothing seems to connect. No wonder this didn’t become a film series.

  • lunabuna
    Bat Hero
    Comments: 81

    Criminy, you never cease to amaze how funny your reviews are, Phelous. XD It’s so consistently good, I like to check your site as often as I can because there’s always hilarity to ensue.

    This… this movie was so disjointed, I can’t even…

    So the angels… do what, exactly? Are they visible? When they want to be or not? Were they dead people? Why did they give the dog a manicure just to send him back to life? Why is there no road outside their house except where there suddenly is one? Ah, it was cathartic seeing this one torn apart.

  • Kooshmeister
    I'm THE BEST!
    Comments: 108

    Since it’s in a can, are you sure it isn’t applesauce, Phelous…?

  • OrangeRider
    Memeforce Zwei
    Comments: 455

    Still a better Christmas special/movie than Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa