• hw
    Comments: 5

    This review makes me hungry for something. If only Lundgren would share his cereal. But seriously, I know its been said a million times, but how the hell does Boll keep getting to make movies after all these stinkers?

    • Earthbound_X
      A Real Turtles Fighter
      Comments: 31

      German tax loopholes is how he keeps making movies.


      Even if the movies do poorly, because of that tax loophole, the investors will still make a profit.

      • Randwandler
        Old Man
        Comments: 1

        No, I don’t think so. The laws governing Filmfond taxation have been changed years ago. So he gets to make movies, because his movies earn more than they cost. And Boll movies turning a profit is not that unlikely. While they are bad, there is worse stuff out there.

         I think the movies make money by being very cheap to produce and being cleverly licensed for TV and DVD releases. In fact, I think I remember Boll saying his movies sell quite well on Eastern European DVD markets. And he can probably get a – in relation to production budget – significant contribution by selling release rights to second-rate TV stations in various countries. (Cheap new action? That probably gives enough viewers to make a TV station happy in certain timeslots.)

  • Daemian Lucifer
    Daemian Lucifer
    Old Man
    Comments: 4

    Time travel king?That sounds like some kind of time lord.


    Also,no starchild?How disappointing.It was hanging right there.

  • Aural Aurum
    Just might make the CUT
    Comments: 46

    Destroying time IS fun! I don’t understand why none of my friends seem to get that!

    Also, I’d still rather watch this movie than play Two Worlds. OOH! Boll Should do another sequel to this, and call it “In the Name of the King III: Two Worlds II: Not ‘A Dungeon Siege Tale.'”

  • Batphil
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 23

    Well it seems here we have another Madsen on our hands. You can clearly tell he is there for the same reason as Madsen was on Bloodrayne.


    Dolph Ludgren must have learned from him before taking the movie. That was the reason for the first denial of the film. He had to learn from the best “Not Give a fuck” actor that Uwe Boll ever hired. It really shows that the training paid off.

  • SirGangstalot
    Old Man
    Comments: 1

    “So I’ll continue to replace most of what Dolph Lundgren says with sound clips of Sugar Bear!”
    Really though Phelous, most of the jokes in your reviews lately amount to, “Hey, I’m going to make a joke about how I could be making a joke but I won’t because META DERPDEDOO THEY’RE GOING TO BRING UP THIS SCENE never. *thumbs up*” If you can’t come up with enough good material to last the entire review, maybe review something else and come back to it later? Just a suggestion. I’ve been watching your reviews for a while and it makes me sad the amount of groans I get from them lately. But what do I know? I’m just a fan trying to be constructive. 

  • MasterNyx
    Old Man
    Comments: 4

    So the main character has a name in this one? Granger is an archaic term for…”farmer”. Fuck.

  • likalaruku
    Completely Useless Now
    Comments: 935

    You have to love Boll’s paper thin attempt at making people medival; Modern English, modern hair styles, modern food, modern makeup, modern views on sexual freedom, not constantly fearing the wrath of god, good hygene, people living past the age of 30, girls over 10 who aren’t married, empowered women with jobs, a lack of stench in the air from human waste being dumped on the streets, everyone’s healthy….Sure everyone in Hollywood does it, but it just stands out even more here (& in the historically inaccurate Tudors series).

  • Johro
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 25

    Well, at least Lundgren made sure she was dead.







  • Plasticlion
    Comments: 68

    You’d be surprised how many times it gets me asked if I have an Uncle Ben.

  • solidsamurai
    Comments: 7

    Put it on youtuuuuuube.

    • Phelous
      Comments: 624

      Dude stop it. Posting “put it on youtube” will NOT make us put the videos on Youtube. I’m sorry if you have issues trying to play it on Blip but that’s something on your end. Putting the videos on youtube is of no good to us and won’t be happening.

  • ninjasmoke97
    Old Man
    Comments: 4

    Can you review a movie called The Cave. It’s not really bad but it’s the kind of movie you review.

  • turbowolf7
    Prodigy Pet Gym Leader
    Comments: 121

    by phelous’s destruction of time the “human centipede 2” review has vanished from my memory. thank you… thankssssssssssss…. now if only part 1 were to go but the power of sugar crisp is only so powerful

  • Spike
    I'm on a post!
    Comments: 241

    Man, this film… I can’t even see it being enjoyably bad, just looks dull as all hell.

    Great review, Phelous 😀

  • Alex Cardo
    Alex Cardo
    Old Man
    Comments: 3

    natural progresion would be Steven Seagal in In the name of the King 4