La Horde

Phelous, Sad Panda, ChaosD1 and Welshy team up to run around a hotel room while complaining about a french horror movie with zombies and yellow lightning.

28 Comments

  • RedSarah
    RedSarah
    Fighting Steffi Love
    Comments: 171

    You realize this review is just catnip for fangirls, don’t you? Not that I’m complaining or anything… 😉

    Of all the confusing, nonsensical things that happened in this movie, Baguette Croissant talking about using his wife as a hideout confuses me the most. What?

    I love you guys so much for doing the Police Squad! freeze frame! Perfect ending for a silly (again, not complaining) review.

  • WikiSorcerer
    WikiSorcerer
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 33

    Yeah, who the Hell would want to see Cops and Criminals working together against a zombie plague? Wait, that could be awesome! Unfortunatly, this film sucks so badly it ruins the premise.

  • EmynStranger
    EmynStranger
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 36

    What a fun and creative review! The parts with the four of you are hilarious. I especially liked when Panda popped up and said “I don’t have a line!” and the freeze frame credits. The movie itself had a little bit of potential, I think, but didn’t make any sense at all. Between this and Humains, I’m not sure what’s up with French horror films. There must be some good ones though, right?

    • SsnakeBite
      SsnakeBite
      CUUUUT
      Comments: 76

      I guess there must be good ones somewhere. Brotherhood of the Wolf is lots of fun, though it’s more action/adventure than really horror IMO (and you’ve got to accept the idea of 18th century Frenchmen being Kung-Fu masters).

       

       

      Other than that, sadly the first name that pops to my mind is Harry, He’s Here to Help. A very… polarizing movie to say the least. Lots of people loved it, lots of people hated it. I’m in the second category. In my opinion, it’s a shitty horror thriller that tries to convince us it’s oh-so clever to make us forget that there’s no story. No seriously. Stuff happens, but there’s no actual plot. Essentially, a character mentions being annoyed by someone, Harry kills that someone. Another character mentions being annoyed by someone else, Harry kills that someone. Rince, repeat until the end when the main characters FINALLY realize that Harry, who had been living with them, was the one behind the killings.

       

       

      Then again, it already took them forever to realize there WAS any killing being committed in the first place until it happens right in front of the main character’s eyes.

       

       

      I also loved said main character’s reaction upon realizing that his childhood friend had been burying corpses in his own garden (including HIS PARENTS’ corpses). He stops for a moment, looks mildly creeped out, and then apparently thinks “heh, might as well add my childhood friend’s corpse to the mix and never mention any of this to my family and friends, who will probably never ask what happened to half the people we knew.

       

       

      Anyway, as for La Horde, it does look stupid, but at least it seems to have decent acting and visuals (crappy green screens notwithstanding) and can probably be a fun little time waster, which is more than I can say for Humains.

    • Phelous
      Phelous
      Administrator
      Comments: 623

      I’d assume there must be some good ones out there but I’m not familiar with them sense Benzaie and Panda just keep telling me about the crap ones haha.

      • EmynStranger
        EmynStranger
        A Real Turtles Fighter
        Comments: 36

        Well Phelous, they probably only tell you about the bad ones so you can review them and they can be in a crossover episode. 😉

  • ZekyZek
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 20

    Phelous how long were you carrying Welshy through hall by yourself? I mean Welshy is grown-up and you carry him quite easily. Now I’m not surprised that you suggested pushing the tree out of the way in Anaconda 3.
    By the way, you should kidnap Panda and force him to review movies with you, this was probably the best crossover so far.

    • The D1
      The D1
      NewbieDotCom.Com
      Comments: 17

      In his defense, Welshy is pretty damned small, and Phelan is much larger than you’d think. Also he was using the “fireman’s carry” which, if executed properly, can make an average person feel like they weigh little more than a fully stuffed backpack.

      I think we did like, two takes of that scene… maybe three because someone would start laughing too early.

      • Phelous
        Phelous
        Administrator
        Comments: 623

        HOW DARE YOU JON! You’re suppose to say how extremely heavy Welshy is and that you were amazed I was able to fireman’s carry him cause that’s the hardest way to carry someone ever!
        Ahem… anyway yeah it was pretty easy to do that and it was Welshy that started laughing during the first take.
        I’ll work on kidnapping Julien.

  • StormyPopsicle
    StormyPopsicle
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 34

    lol ninja mode is something similar to what i used to play when i was 12ish growing up in the middle of no where, except we didn’t wear ski masks. that would just look too stupid.

    this whole review overall was amazing. i had to bite my lip to keep from waking my roommates at “WHAT THE FUCK” at the title screen and the line “GRENADES DO NOT WORK THAT WAY” and the part where you guys popped up from the bed covers, well there are more. to many to name because the way you guys kept popping up in different scenes was fun, it added a comedy to the review and made you go “Oh what will they do next! <3" i was expecting you guys to be in the hotel elevator, lobby, or a roof or somthing. Nice job you guys. i bet the other hotel guests appreciated the noise >;3

    I want to see out takes from this and behind the scene stuff if there is any. please! i bet they’re great!

  • Nils B-Film
    Nils B-Film
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 21

    Hahaha… I loved this teamup review. The drunk-used-as-prop was very fun, but the whole subtitle gag made me laugh out a lot. Good old racist stereotyping is so much fun, huh 😉

  • chikenf00t
    Old Man
    Comments: 1

    I like them all but julien is the funniest

    Yoopi pour les personne qui s’appelle Julien!

  • Ralok
    Ralok
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 9

    a dbz fight beetween stuffed animals . . . its so BEAUTIFUL

  • ZekyZek
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 20

    I just want to know, what was actually Panda saying when he was speaking French?

  • ModeWondershot
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 5

    ZekyZek, SadPanda was saying:

    “Bastard, that’s not true I…Fine.”

    Also, this review was some seriously epic foreshadowing at work, Phelous. For those so inclined, Phelous made a comment regarding “zombie rape” back during his House of the Dead 2 review and stated that he didn’t want to see anything that stupid in a movie again. Cut to SadPanda giving the “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…” line.

    Well played, sir. Very well played.

  • Phoenixfirex
    Phoenixfirex
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 10

    F U C K I N G ,  F U C K I N G ,  F U C K I N G  P I E C E  O F  S H I T ! ! !

  • Dejablue
    Dejablue
    CUUUUT
    Comments: 65

    Shoot them in the HEAD you dumb sons of bitches!  Even if you have never seen a zombie before IN YOUR LIFE!  You’d  KNOW that if you want something to die instantly you don’t shoot it in the chest. You shoot it in the head! Basic God given logic here!

  • BlueCurse60
    BlueCurse60
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 34

    Yay, pointless zombie movie! Now with less sense!

  • turbowolf7
    turbowolf7
    Prodigy Pet Gym Leader
    Comments: 121

    you take 4 funny guys and have them review a bad (but not the worst) zombie movie? hilarity thats what! i’m still trying to translate “la horde” but its damn difficult, have to get that language expert from “taken”

  • PANDorica
    PANDorica
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 26

    For some reason this video is one of my favourites… I think it’s baguette croissant.
    *worships Panda forever*

  • likalaruku
    likalaruku
    Completely Useless Now
    Comments: 934

    ChaosD1; the joke is that he never swears in his reviews.