Talking musical instruments and a handsome hunchback. How this story was truly intended.
The Hunchback of Notre Dame (Golden Films)
Talking musical instruments and a handsome hunchback. How this story was truly intended.
52 Comments Comments RSS
So many ripped designs.
I do believe I hear Cam Clarke in this piece of crap.
WHAT?! How in the hell do they get more “What the fuck??!” than The Secret of the Hunchback of Notre Dame???? Seriously, this has to be a major achievement. I’m fairly sure he said “Ze part is over, fellas!” but it is hilarious that it really did sound like he was addressing you at first X’D Seriously though, changing names for one-off shitty jokes, not even bothering with naming Frollo his actual name, and giving names to completely random new characters who bear no resemblance to what they’re based on is just… UGGGHHH Also having Quasimodo be a handsome muscley guy is just fucking RIDICULOUS. He’s the HUNCHBACK of notre dame–even the Good Times movie got that right!! I will never complain about a single fucking thing in the Disney version again. Sure, it softened some stuff and made some major changes, but it had some badass amazing songs and characters, stunningly beautiful animation, and at least got an inkling of the original book’s heart and soul, even without the major tragic elements of the book’s ending. This is just pure idiocy of the highest order! I love these reviews of yours Phelous, your coverage of the ever-increasingly baffling insanity of Golden Films and Goodtimes is always a treat. I look forward to whatever comes next 😛
This is Hunchback if The CW remade it.
Oh, god! That’s sadly on the nose, isn’t it? Maybe also concentrate more on a love triangle… Never mind, I don’t want them to get any ideas.
HAHAHA Yeah that’s so true X’D
Remember that freaking AWFUL attempt to make Beauty and the Beast?? WITH A HOT GUY AS BEAST?! What the hell were they even trying with that…?
It’s hilarious, “Hey stop hunching over so much and brush your hair back, now you’re beautiful (well, more beautiful) on the outside! That’s the ONLY thing that matters, right?!
Yeah, Ron Perlman 80’s Version was better. The Beauty was truly on the inside w/ that one.
I’m not even sure what the hell The CW was trying to accomplish, or what they thought the outcome would be, by this desperate reboot of the 80’s show (and it was definitely trying to cash in on that). It’s not like the old series was a ratings smash or anything, it was cancelled due to low viewership. So the nostalgia factor’s not exactly high in that sense…
It’s not faithful to the source on a fundamental level what with the “beast” being just a really pretty guy with muscles who gets angry and super-strong sometimes (basically The Hulk). So it’s not even really B&B….
What’d they expect would happen here?!
I loved how the CW was so obsessed with their “young and beautiful” shit that even all the cops at the precinct where Catherine worked were hot young people. Apparently it’s a precinct located in the domed city from “Logan’s Run.” They couldn’t have even one grizzled old vet who knows the city like the back of his hand and has contacts everywhere, because that would mean having a cast member who (gasp) WASN’T PRETTY!
I was dating a girl – fortunately it didn’t work out – who loved the film Beastly. You know, the Beauty and the Beast story where they were afraid to actually make the Beast ugly? Instead, he just looked like Kratos from God of War decided to become the lead singer of a screamcore band.
I really wish I could edit these comments. I originally spaced the different statements out more, but for some reason when it was posted all that disappeared. Weird.
I wonder if Phelous (or whoever is in charge of the site) could consider switching from this style of comments section to the Disqus style of comments section. It’s way more convenient, if a mistake is made it can be edited, if someone makes a comment they regret it can be deleted, plus ya get instantaneous messages in an inbox system if someone replies to your comment.
This comment section type just feels kinda inconvenient and outdated on all those levels.
Check the News/Announcements. He’s working on a Forum atm.
I’m not sure where to find announcements for Phelous’ site.
Others I think if I remember correctly.
It sounded more like “The party’s over, fellas” to me.
They should’ve scrapped the whole Hunchback of Notre Dame thing and just made the movie about talking musical instruments going up and down stairs while bats laugh at their own jokes and an insane woman forces barn animals to dance for her amusement.
And hey, got more Dingo Pictures gold lined up for us, Phelan?
Wow. This movie is the fucking shits…
That’s pretty much all I can say. This movie is just the epitome of cheap cash-in. With emphasis on ‘cheap’. How much did it cost to ‘produce’ this ‘film’, actually? I’m willing to bet no more than $1,000.
That’s a little low…
The animation, the voice actors, the writing, unless a ton of people didn’t get paid, there’s no way it was $1000.
Oh, I wasn’t being too serious. Maybe like… two thousand? Three thousand tops?
Yaaay!! More animated films: and Golden films!!
But see this movie is trying to set itself apart from the other one by stealing Disney comic relief concepts from other Disney films then the one their ripping off already. And having a Quasimodo who looks like the football playing fifth Jonas Brother. Joy
0:45 you need to make this noise more often
3:33 Don’t like Big Bang Theory, do you? Ouch!
6:00 so need to see that!
8:37 woah, those cassenatas flew into her stomach
12:42 the movie is turning Phelous into an elephant!! Drat you movie!!
14:19 maybe he’s not his father…hm?…
25:20 bravo!! That was awesome!!
26:26 two teasers for future reviews: Phelous you spoil us! 🙂
This film is so shallow I could weep 🙁
So many hilarious parts: great review. If you’re reading this I highly recommend the TV Mondo Hunchback of the Notre Dame. Since your such a fan of the whole ‘changing people’s appearences’ this movie did: it does it even more!!!
No flying Hunchback: zero stars
Great review
Yeah, don’t want to give away too much, but good God…the goat. X_x Insane thing was, until part 3 it was extremely close to the book. Then it went off the rails even more than Golden Books and Goodtimes combined. And I have yet to see this other version I keep hearing of that has dragons and Frollo as en evil wizard.
Dragons…wizard…huh???? I need to find this!!
Find it yet?
No footage 🙁 but some info: if this is the same one, then what you found is part of an entire TV series.
Yep, same one (unless Frollo being a wizard is a new trend in adaptations or someone was trying to ride on the microscopic sucess of the other)
The specific episode VHS is on Amazon UK and that’s it. Seems to be one of those things that are so rare they make you question your grip on reality
I just noticed the Baron is a reused character design from Beauty and the Beast ’99…..
You can see him at 13:48 in part two of the review, look on the left side.
Nice catch.
This movie came out in 1996 while Beauty and the Beast (the 2nd Golden Films version) came out in 1999. So, the Baron’s character design was reused in that movie.
Thanks so much for finally reviewing this. Been anticipating this for a while now and you exceded my expectation. Can’t wait for your Dingo review of it. The Dingo version besides the Toy Story knock off are my favorites due to how bizarre and hilarious they are.
This film gives me a headache. Everything is just so… Bad. Like at least Dingo Preductions are often quiet, gives you time to react to stuff. This? Constant noise, nothing but noise.
It’s so dense. Every single frame has so many things going on.
What is it with ruining movies and Ricks!?
Hmmmm… I like that jacket with that shirt. Strangely slimming for layered clothing.
Hehehe… The bats kinda look like Bubsy Bobcat.
I know I say his every cartoon review, but I can’t figure out what era’s ass they pulled these outfits from.
That Tamborine reminds me of the talking book from Aladdin & The Adventure of All Time.
Yup… Recycles animation, just like Scruff.
Oh sure…. The instruments struggled to climb up the stairs, but they just levitated up to the barn window.
Gee… He transformed into the prince from the Little Mermaid.
The art style is so inconsistent. While the major characters have their own style, all of the background characters look like they’re pulled straight out of Animaniacs or Tiny Toons.
Are you sure this isn’t super cheap flash animation? I know it was too early for it, but jesus christ.
You’d think a big company like Disney would be quicker to chicken out on an ugly protagonist, but apparently not. Seems almost as if they mixed up the story with Beauty & the Beast, with a beautiful people problem twist.
And what time period is this? The previous one was supposed to be set in some sort of medieval setting, or something. This one got huge store windows, which would imply the… late 1800s?
But atleast the Roma people weren’t all thieves except one in this one. That’s a plus I guess.
It is medieval, can’t you tell? They’re ah… not wearing modern clothing… and Xs on their shirt is animation for “ye old times”.
Yet they have 1700’s powdered wigs and 1800’s Top Hats. X_x
“Doing anything against the law is illegal” Like making this pile of crap cash-in! Hunkback of Notre Dumb is a better title for this shit-fest!
But negative aside the review was great! I really like the Quantum Leap nod at 7:43. Top Quality Stuff Phelous!
I’d be willing to see a trailer for Hunkback of Notre Dumb.
‘It’s illegal you know.” I just had to make a Zelda CD-I reference.
“This Crackle-looking motherfucker” made me laugh harder and longer than I’d care to admit. Ugh… this was painfully lazy. That evil clown mask from the other adaptation might have stared at you like he would eat babies and steal your soul but I would rather endure an hour of it than the bats and instruments from this one. I see even the old man wouldn’t touch this movie, unless he’s disowned his son and daughter because they’re completely useless now.
I’m glad no one has cheaply animated The Count of Monte Cristo for Golden Times to cheaply cash in. (It’s about as much of a children’s story as this one or Jekyll and Hide were.) If there’s any adaptation that might have me Phelous-rage at the screen, it would be that one.
I just want to thank you for sitting through this shit for our entertainment. This wasn’t even so bad it’s good, it was just unwatchable. What horrors will you unearth next?
SIDE NOTE: Did anybody get a Jive-Talking-DUMBO-Crows vibe from the bats?
Stupid fake head-canon time! Maybe he really is hideous, and he’s just hiding it with a vampire glamour… he does have day-bats working for him, after all.
My hunchback glistens in the sun because of my sins! D:
Lol, ‘Fat as Fuck Father’ disowns Quasimodo because he is too handsome. Why not let him die!?
Phelous, you give us so many great characters that are derived from lame characters that you deserve to have your creations shared with the internets. I hope this isn’t the last we are seeing of Fat as Fuck Father, randomly appearing talking musical instruments, randomly appearing talking bats, Crackle/Pierrre, and monsterous handsome Quasimodo.
Fat father should have not named him Quasimodo, but Beauty!
Is it sad that the Rocket Robin Hood footage (which is from a tv show in the 60s) had better animation than this movie?
16:05 Needs moar Beauty Gasp. 😛
…what even was that?
6:47 Shaggy is that you?
Where’s Scooby-Doo?
I guess Click and Clack are Pokemon because they almost always say just their names just like Pokemon do in the anime!
Also, is it just me or does Melody kind of look like Cousin Mel from Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer?