You’ve really taken on a horrible genre when it comes to sequals. Horror movies with a central villan seem to write a script and then shoe horn in the villains of the series as catalysts of the story. A great example of this is the Hammer Dracula films that would barely include Christopher Lee until it was absolutely necessary to inculde Dracula. It’s almost like modern horror sequals have the same problem as Godzilla movies that they write a script that has little to do with Godzilla but allows enough wiggle room in the plot to include scenes of Godzilla.
Anyway great review, and tell Lupa to have more cameos of you in her reviews.
I was JUST browsing at HMV today when I found this DVD! I immediately resolved that I would post it in the comments of the next video. Brilliant timing.
Just why…? Why on earth would they make another one? Obviously to try and milk some more money from tis dumb franchise, but still.
I would LOVE to see three-finger in space! that would be hilarious! they could sneak on a space shuttle launch or build their own rocket out of a port-o-potty and moonshine.
They really had NO ideo what they were doing with this… Wtf was the point of that Journalist sub-plot? Will they ever learn that nobody likes those party obsessed characters in horror films? They’re just a waste. They need proper characterisation!! Another hilarious review. Can’t wait for the next one!
at least they havent done a cross over of wrong turn and the hills have eyes. second though that would be awsome. think about it two super mutant families fighting it out.
I’m surprised you didn’t make more Hellraiser references with Doug Bradley. I would have loved to see you make him go “WE’LL TEAR YOUR SOUL… APAAAHHHT!” during the pointless threats montage (just to clear things up: the threats are pointless, not the montage :P). And speaking of that, it’s pretty amazing that when he played a guy who wanted to make people experience ultimate pain, his character still came off as less of an ass than the one from this movie. Subtlety, what’s that?
are stealthy like ninjas? I know this series was stupid, but this is on enirely different filed of existense. Also does the ending mean that Jason Vorhees can morph now?
oh my goodness when i saw that jason stare i just couldnt handle myself that was the most funniest thing i saw in a long time love the review and love the JASOOOON stare!!!
Knife v Gun, FIGHT! Which means yet another gore-with-no-real-weight-or-meaning-fest, oh wait the meaning is making you care less. They shoulda stopped with 2. Or made them in space, killing hoards of aliens with no effort!
Why do so many horror films have the audience on the side of the killers? I mean that must be why they write all the victims as idiots too stupid to live. Because we’re supposed to be rooting for the killers. Hard to cheer for a bunch of inbreed losers with knives with their serial killer mentor.
Those last two victims felt overly hateful towards women too. I know most horror movies have women as victims and there’s often some misogyny to it but the lady sheriff being burned alive unless she kills herself with the shotgun and the blinded girl clearly going to get raped, tortured and murdered were especially heinous. Sorry you had to sit through this shit, Phelous.
That does seem how horror movies in the last decade or so are going. Â If you look at 80’s horror movies the characters where much more likable and/or normal and the killers were not humanized with tragic backstories, hell most were totally unknown, which made the even more scary.
23 Comments Comments RSS
As soon I saw the commercials for Wrong Turn 5 I immediatly thought Phelous would be happy.
And btw fucking your family does provide you with superior genes. MCPOYLES WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD!
Exactly what I thought as well. Phrong Turn 5 is coming out? Phelan is gonna have a parade….. Of insanity….
You’ve really taken on a horrible genre when it comes to sequals. Horror movies with a central villan seem to write a script and then shoe horn in the villains of the series as catalysts of the story. A great example of this is the Hammer Dracula films that would barely include Christopher Lee until it was absolutely necessary to inculde Dracula. It’s almost like modern horror sequals have the same problem as Godzilla movies that they write a script that has little to do with Godzilla but allows enough wiggle room in the plot to include scenes of Godzilla.
Anyway great review, and tell Lupa to have more cameos of you in her reviews.
Wrong Turn 5: Too Stupid to Live.
I was JUST browsing at HMV today when I found this DVD! I immediately resolved that I would post it in the comments of the next video. Brilliant timing.
Just why…? Why on earth would they make another one? Obviously to try and milk some more money from tis dumb franchise, but still.
I would LOVE to see three-finger in space! that would be hilarious! they could sneak on a space shuttle launch or build their own rocket out of a port-o-potty and moonshine.
The problem with that is it would require creativity…
They really had NO ideo what they were doing with this… Wtf was the point of that Journalist sub-plot? Will they ever learn that nobody likes those party obsessed characters in horror films? They’re just a waste. They need proper characterisation!! Another hilarious review. Can’t wait for the next one!
at least they havent done a cross over of wrong turn and the hills have eyes. second though that would be awsome. think about it two super mutant families fighting it out.
I’m surprised you didn’t make more Hellraiser references with Doug Bradley. I would have loved to see you make him go “WE’LL TEAR YOUR SOUL… APAAAHHHT!” during the pointless threats montage (just to clear things up: the threats are pointless, not the montage :P). And speaking of that, it’s pretty amazing that when he played a guy who wanted to make people experience ultimate pain, his character still came off as less of an ass than the one from this movie. Subtlety, what’s that?
are stealthy like ninjas? I know this series was stupid, but this is on enirely different filed of existense. Also does the ending mean that Jason Vorhees can morph now?
oh my goodness when i saw that jason stare i just couldnt handle myself that was the most funniest thing i saw in a long time love the review and love the JASOOOON stare!!!
how dare you change the look of jason 😛
lol at your visions of wrong turn 6 & 7
Wtf? Really? A 5th movie in this shit saga? Who the fuk thought it needed a 5th movie? I bet this is already on the PoS SyFy channel.
Why have you still not reviewed All The President’s Men?
They honestly thought that we NEEDED another Wrong Turn movie? God this film looks so stupid…..thanks for sitting through it for us, Phleous.
…Are you kidding? This has a 5TH INSTALLMENT?!
Knife v Gun, FIGHT! Which means yet another gore-with-no-real-weight-or-meaning-fest, oh wait the meaning is making you care less. They shoulda stopped with 2. Or made them in space, killing hoards of aliens with no effort!
Watch out!! He’s got a very sharp knife!!
Possibly your best review.
Great review! Doug Bradley is the only good part in this film.
Hey, how about a review some of Hellraiser movies?
Why do so many horror films have the audience on the side of the killers? I mean that must be why they write all the victims as idiots too stupid to live. Because we’re supposed to be rooting for the killers. Hard to cheer for a bunch of inbreed losers with knives with their serial killer mentor.
Those last two victims felt overly hateful towards women too. I know most horror movies have women as victims and there’s often some misogyny to it but the lady sheriff being burned alive unless she kills herself with the shotgun and the blinded girl clearly going to get raped, tortured and murdered were especially heinous. Sorry you had to sit through this shit, Phelous.
That does seem how horror movies in the last decade or so are going. Â If you look at 80’s horror movies the characters where much more likable and/or normal and the killers were not humanized with tragic backstories, hell most were totally unknown, which made the even more scary.