24 Comments

  • Dunes
    Robert Cop
    Comments: 188

    Club owner is Robert Davi?

  • Alex C.
    Alex C.
    JUST GOT ACTUALLY-ED!
    Comments: 151

    Today I learned that garlic causes chimp shits and then everybody got AIDS.

    I haven’t seen the movie, but I assume the two scenes are related.

  • Tetsu Deinonychus
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 17

    I was never a big “Saved by the Bell” fan, so to me Elizabeth Berkeley is the voice of Armitage III, rather than the girl from “Saved by the Bell”.

  • iatethecrayon
    iatethecrayon
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 32

    Allison your splash image is givin’ me the vapors.

    God I am so happy you reviewed this. It contains my two favorite things: intense accidental, hamming and young Kyle Maclachlan

  • happymel2
    happymel2
    The Fuct of Pepsiman
    Comments: 228

    Kyle Maclachlan is this movie?! Wha? Anyways, it’s funny but judging from these clips… Elizabeth Berkley’s acting hadn’t changed much from her Saved by the Bell days.

  • penpaninu
    penpaninu
    Bat Hero
    Comments: 83

    omg that ending cracked me up. Was the dvd laughing at ya? 😛

  • CyborgPrince
    CyborgPrince
    Fighting Steffi Love
    Comments: 172

    This movie looks like quite the fun cheese-fest. I think that “everybody got AIDS and shit” line is probably the most memorable one. I still remembered it from the Nostalgia Chick review of this movie. Might be a fun film for bad movie night to go along with The Room and Birdemic.

     

    Poor Elizabeth Berkely. Got shafted by the Hollywood system so young in her career. However, she seems to still be doing fairly well for herself doing television shows and made-for-TV movies, according to Wikipedia. So at least she still has a career. Better than some other child stars, including some of her fellow Saved By the Bell alumni.

  • Jon Protagonist
    Jon Protagonist
    A Master of Unlocking
    Comments: 415

    I admit I have not seen this movie, but I think I can see almost right away that Elizabeth Berkely was just the wrong choice for the film. Much like her Saved By the Bell character, she comes off as this tall, awkward, upper middle class American “girl next door”. While she’s obviously a very beautiful woman, she just doesn’t convince me that she wants to dance in a sexy, topless, Vegas nightclub.

    She really did drop off the face of Hollywood after this movie, but so did most of the Saved by the Bell cast soon after this. I think Mario Lopez is the only one who is still seen regularly on TV as one of the New Years eve hosting people and some celeb gossip stuff I think.

  • Jon Protagonist
    Jon Protagonist
    A Master of Unlocking
    Comments: 415

    PS: I almost forgot…I remember at the time, there was one of those studio copycat phenomenons where this movie and another film called “StripTease” starring Demi Moore came out like within a few months of each other.

  • likalaruku
    likalaruku
    Completely Useless Now
    Comments: 934

    I always figured it was fap material made by a guy who promised his mom on her death bed that he’d never make a porn.

    Hearing you describe it, it sounds like the a weird combo of Black Swan & Flash Dance.

  • C-Puff
    C-Puff
    Just might make the CUT
    Comments: 48

    Nomi actually really really scares me from what I’ve seen of this movie. She reminds me a lot of the kind of person I was in a very bad roomate/friendship/codependent relationship with some years ago, where they only had 2 real responses to anything. The first being complete disregard or very little interest to anything anyone said or did, and the other being a complete batshit tornado of psycho craziness that can be set off by absolutely nothing. And you never really know what response ANYTHING is going to get, because it could be either of these two settings and you just had to hope and pray that anything you said to this person would not result in said tornado. Sometimes the tornado can seem positive or friendly, but it’s still a tornado.

    Nomi gives off the exact same vibe. I don’t think she’s completely mentally stable. Much like my described person, she is only ever A: the victim or B: the bully. And nothing ever in between.

    This can be fun to watch in a movie, but just from my experience it seems like this would be… an uncomfortable watch. I think that’s just how the character is written and how Verhoeven (for whatever reason) decided to direct Burkley, But I do think she is without blame either. I just don’t think her acting is the one and only reason for this performance. Honestly, I don’t think Verhoeven was the right person to direct this movie.

  • trlkly
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 12

    First: So what’s the difference with the different covers?

    Second: Do you always cut like this? It works as an effect, as it can be funny, but I don’t think it works when it happens for no reason. That only works if you keep the camera still.

    And if you have trouble fitting in the movie graphic, you don’t have to be dead center. You can have the camera move you off to the side and then bring in the video.

    Not that it took away from the point of your review. I really appreciate the trouble you went through just to get it reviewed. Heck, I finally know why people didn’t like the movie! (I’m not really an NC-17 type of guy. I’d need at least an R cut.)

  • Ultratech94
    End Of Transmission
    S.T.A.R.S.
    Comments: 381

    I’ve never seen this movie, but I don’t think it’s hard to find at all. you just have to know your sources Lupa. it took me only 2 tries to find it, and I found some copies available at videouniverse.com & they have a widescreen special edition version available for $7.49 + shipping. in either case, another great episode Lupa.

    on a side note, I have my fair share of seeing some big stinkers. by far the absolute worst movie I’ve ever seen (which I have no idea if you or Phelous would ever review, and if you did, god help us), is Hellraiser Revelations. talk about a remake that not only made me feel dirty and uncomfortable, but it also managed to piss off Clive Barker himself. I would highly recommend you stay away from this vile piece of cinematic trash. however, if you and/or Phelous do decide to review it, then this quote from Clive Barker himself should give you the impression on how bad this film is. he said, & I quote: “I want to put on record that the flic out there using the word Hellraiser IS NO FUCKIN’ CHILD OF MINE! I have NOTHING to do with the fuckin’ thing. If they claim its from the mind of Clive Barker, it’s a lie. It’s not even from my butt-hole.” even for a Halloween special, it’s not a good horror movie to watch even on Halloween. 

  • zeekthegeek
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 12

    This movie absolutely makes more sense in the context of the Verhoeven Oeuvre, amongst films like Robocop, Total Recall and Starship Troopers

  • SpeedyEric
    CUUUUT
    Comments: 60

    Now we get to the good, controversial stuff. Thanks, Lupa. This should be good, regardless of The Nostalgia Chick already did a 2-part review on this movie 5 years ago.

    Some years ago, I’ve actually seen a few copies of the special edition DVD and Blu-ray on sale at my local Best Buy, and I did hear that it was coming out at the time.

    3:34– “Oh, don’t you talk about my (black) boxes! I LIKE (black) BOXES!” Sorry, I had to do it. Also, when I’ve seen the digital bra version on VH-1 years ago, and the bras and panties look like the censors raided Jessica Rabbit’s wardrobe. At least “I’M SORRY!” and “Different places!” aren’t as losing it as “I’M SO EXCITED!” from that episode of Saved By the Bell. Elizabeth Burkley in the pool sex seen looks to me like she’s being electrocuted by an electric eel while humping The Captain from How I Met Your Mother. Still cannot get over how funny the line “Everybody got AIDS and shit.”is. Love your Big Fat Idiot Update. =D LOL!

  • Kooshmeister
    Kooshmeister
    I'm THE BEST!
    Comments: 108

    Lupa… I’ve doubted you before, particularly saying some less than supportive things about you in your early teamups with Phelous back when the two of you were still on TGWTG. I want to get down on my knees and beg your forgiveness for it. Not just because you’ve proven a funny, insightful comedian and reviewer… but also because, yeah, wow, I was a douchebag. Keep it up with these kickass movie reviews and Baywatching!

  • No-Personality
    No-Personality
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 7

    That’s weird. I ordered the DVD back in January and it was extremely cheap. Best Buy has about 4 different copies (Blu & DVD, one a pink cover, the other gold), all under $10. Barnes and Noble has no Blu-Ray but the Unrated gold-covered version for around $10. Amazon’s DVD and Blu are about the same price (4 cent difference). I’m positive eBay has tons of copies.

  • M Chambers
    CUUUUT
    Comments: 67

    I was almost forced to watch this in the theater! I got together with some friends to see ‘Se7en.’ However, as we were about to pay for our tickets I discovered that this whole thing was just a trick. My friends actually wanted to see ‘Showgirls!’ They needed me to buy the tickets since I was the only one 17. I couldn’t believe they were serious! But they were! I told them it was ‘Se7en’ or they could walk home.

    I later watched this three times. Once on a VHS which was floating around my dorm. I couldn’t stand anything passed 40 minutes and shut it off. I later saw the whole thing on Skinimax (I must have been really bored) and the later edited version on VH1. Yes, it really is that bad!

     

     

  • Aethelred
    Aethelred
    Bat Hero
    Comments: 82

    This was clearly filmed by someone who has never actually been to a strip club. Dancers don’t really spazz out like that.