28 Comments

  • BigJennaTalia
    BigJennaTalia
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 12

    This brought me right into the christmas spirit. Next time I talk to a have decomposed molding corpse i’ll make sure to tell him he can live on my hearth. Merry Crimbus.

  • pinkrobotgirl
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 7

    I was curious about the original story this was based on, so I looked it up. It’s public domain, and you can read the whole thing on Project Gutenberg if you enjoy extremely boring stories.

    One of the most significant things about the original story was that Bertha and Edward weren’t engaged, they were brother and sister. Also Bertha was born blind, and the cricket was just a regular cricket who didn’t talk or anything. The narrator claimed he was magical but there’s no actual evidence of it in the text.

    I’m actually really hung up on the fact that whatsisface decided to lie to his blind daughter about their circumstances, even going as far as pretending they have really quiet servants. That’s so messed up. And wouldn’t work for ten minutes in the real world, but still. She’s BLIND, not an idiot.

    I love this trend of reviewing terrible animated films. Can’t wait for the second half of this review!

  • pinkrobotgirl
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 7

    Edit: Wait, I lie. Looking closer at the story, the cricket did have some magic after all. It was just so damn boring I stopped reading before it got to that part. Whoops.

  • t1337dude
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 31

    *little girl voice* Thank you……Thaaannks…….

  • Ultratech94
    End Of Transmission
    S.T.A.R.S.
    Comments: 381

    yes, another animated review. once again Phelous, you’ve successfully managed to turn my frown upside down. I also agree with that you should do more animated reviews since #1 they tend to be the most funny on your site & #2 you have the most fun doing voices. also, major plus on bringing back the old man from the Beauty & The Beast review with the doyee line. it wont be long now until we see the father Lion pop up saying “My God”. congratulations on another job well done, I’m looking forward to part 2. and in case I forget, Happy Holidays Phelous.

    • Doresh
      Just might make the CUT
      Comments: 40

      This has already become my favorite kind of Phealous review. Ranting about bad horror movies is fine and all, but that genre loves using the same kind of tropes, stories and annoying characters. Bad cartoons seem to offer more variety so far.

      • Ultratech94
        End Of Transmission
        S.T.A.R.S.
        Comments: 381

        plus it suits extremely well for him. that plus his Bootleg Zones & Halloweenie videos is what makes Phelous one of the best & funniest reviewers on the internet. I’m looking forward to seeing more reviews in 2015. ^-^

  • likalaruku
    likalaruku
    Completely Useless Now
    Comments: 901

    At first I thought this looked horrible, especially for Rankin Bass, but two things changed my mind. 1)It’s 60s animation, so this actually looks good compared to a good chunk of animation from that decade. 2)Take a look at Rankin Bass’s Tales of the Wizard of Oz; now that is some cheap lazy shit.

    Got a good laugh out of watching you “sing” your theme song.

    I see Cricket graduated from the Dick Van Dyke School of British Accents.

    He didn’t charge the cricket rent, but he still had to pay tacks.

    Silent Hill Faceless Nurse Bride; all the girls will want one.

    The queen only employs Orcs.

    Love the editing.

    • Doresh
      Just might make the CUT
      Comments: 40

      Heck, the designs of he two young characters doesn’t even look all that outdated and might work on an Adult Swim show (questionable hip anatomy aside).

      Not just the girls. With a show like “My Faceless Nurse Brides: Friendship is Silent Hill”, you can attract all demographics 😀 !

    • Kooshmeister
      Kooshmeister
      I'm THE BEST!
      Comments: 108

      But isn’t Roddy McDowall actually British? Therefore unlike Dick Van Dyke, he ain’t fakin’. Now maybe he’s faking the Cockney part…

  • likalaruku
    likalaruku
    Completely Useless Now
    Comments: 901

    Happy Decemberween.

  • obsolete
    obsolete
    Prodigy Pet Gym Leader
    Comments: 121

    I actually look forward to your animated reviews then the normal horror reviews.HEEEEEEEEeeeeeeee!!!!

  • sassafrasshash
    sassafrasshash
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 20

    Phelous you made my lunch break awesome. I laughed the entire time; love the return of Beauty’s father . Love your episodes; stay awesome  and have a merry xmas!!

  • CthuLoon
    Old Man
    Comments: 3

    Great review! Looking forward to part 2.

    That Moneylender looked awfully like some sort of disgusting Jewish stereotype. Are you sure this wasn’t made by Disney?

  • MWaser
    MWaser
    Old Man
    Comments: 2

    Holy crap Phelous, I think that was one of your funniest reviews (and it’s just part one!), and one of the funniest reviews I’ve ever seen! I actually just registered because I felt a need to say that, I just couldn’t help but laugh almost all the way through (well, except the fake end credit sequence)

  • geddyb
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 20

    Hey! Give Halloweenie his tie back!!!!

  • DemonioBlanco
    DemonioBlanco
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 29

    now i can see the foreshadowing

  • turbowolf7
    turbowolf7
    Prodigy Pet Gym Leader
    Comments: 121

    Ooh faced! The nightmare becomes reality when Cricket Crockett is on the job. This is just part one and already I’m plotting insectide against crickets

  • sadsadcomicartist
    sadsadcomicartist
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 7

    Disappointed in lack of Batman TAS jokes. 0/10.
    In all honesty, this was perfect. It made me feel a lot less depressed about all the hospital visits I’m going to be making this month and all the tension at home within the first few minutes. Phelan, you get all the awards for awesome. Nevar give ahp, nevar surrendurr.

  • Kooshmeister
    Kooshmeister
    I'm THE BEST!
    Comments: 108

    Well it’s nice to see the cops from Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde are still around. And now apparently pulling double duty as Royal Navy MPs.

    And, wow, the guy who comes to tell them Edward got killed was so stereotypically evil-looking I was certain he’d be the bad guy. Dude looks like Old Scratch. He just looked like he’d come to talk Caleb into selling him his soul. But then he turns out to just be some government messenger guy. And while I’m sure he’s a nice guy and all… who sends a man that ghoulish-looking to inform someone their loved one died?

    And, anyone else getting a Jabba the Hutt/Salacious Crumb vibe with Tackleton and Uriah?

  • Sagiri
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 14

    I’m sure I’m mishearing it, but it sounds like the end of the song is “till you have a fucking cricket; cricket on the hearth”.

  • snorgatch
    snorgatch
    JUST GOT ACTUALLY-ED!
    Comments: 147

    There actually is a group of insects that are properly called “bugs.” They belong to the Order Hemiptera and are characterized by having sucking mouth parts and wings that cross over each other when folded. However, crickets belong to the Order Orthoptera, along with grasshoppers, katydids, and locusts, and hence are not “true bugs.”

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