35 Comments

  • Tom
    Tom
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 5

    I guess over the years I had forgotten just how bad this movie was.  I only saw it once back when it first came out and I HATED it, but since then I have heard that some people actually like it.  I always thought “eh, to each their own, maybe they just see something in it that I didn’t.”  But now, no.  Thanks to this video refreshing my memory of just how terrible this film is I can go back to being stunned that there are people who somehow find redeeming qualities in it.  Just know, world, if anyone ever utters the words “the Rob Zombie remake is my favorite Halloween film” then I will find you, and what follows will be painful.

     

    I also just realized that to this day I have still never actually watched the sequel to this… I guess with Halloween a week away and a review of the sequel coming soon (I assume) I may have to marathon all 10 films.

     

    Quick note/question regarding the video (Spoilers of the review if you haven’t watched it yet, I guess):

     

    There is an audio flub at about 16:48 in which “Shittin’ Cameo!” plays a second time overtop of the other voiceover.  Also, was it intentional and/or was there a reason why towards the end when you (Michael) hold up the DVD of Halloween II your hand is completely covering the “II”?  I wasn’t entirely sure that it even was II at first until a little later when you hold it differently so that the full title can be seen, I thought it may have been this movie and was kind of confused by what was going on…

     

    EDIT: I don’t know what it is about the comment system on this site… I can never get line/paragraph breaks to work properly. Hopefully this post doesn’t come out looking too terrible.

    • Rufus_T_Fyrfly
      Rufus_T_Fyrfly
      Old Man
      Comments: 3

      [quote=Tom]

      I guess over the years I had forgotten just how bad this movie was.  I only saw it once back when it first came out and I HATED it, but since then I have heard that some people actually like it.  Just know, world, if anyone ever utters the words “the Rob Zombie remake is my favorite Halloween film” then I will find you, and what follows will be painful.

      [/quote]

      Ugh. I have at least two co-workers who saw it the nite it premiered and insist to this day that this tripe and its sequel are “superior to the original” and that remake Micheal is “100 times scarier”. XD 

       

       

      That’s one of the reasons I refuse to go with them to the movies.

       

      Glad to see you tear this piece of trash down.

      • Phelous
        Phelous
        Administrator
        Comments: 618

        Superior… SUPERIOR!?!? *barf* I honestly don’t know HOW you can find him scary at all in this let alone SCARIER. He’s a cry baby in this. That’s what you have in your head before actually seeing him go after Laurie and company.

  • evilphoenix
    evilphoenix
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 9

    This movie feels like every single character was written by eli roth. I don’t know why they decided he had to have a motive as quite a few killers have perfectly normal childhoods and end up this way and leaving the facts out and making him a senseless killer made him alot scarier as he would kill anyone.

    Can’t wait for the next review because that films even worse.

  • CerebroKraub
    CerebroKraub
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 5

    [quote=Phelous][/quote]

  • Aural Aurum
    Just might make the CUT
    Comments: 46

    A non-linear, analytical review? UNACCEPTABLE.

  • TildeAmpersandCaret
    TildeAmpersandCaret
    Old Man
    Comments: 4

    Really?  They did that to the character?!  UGH.  I didn’t want to see the remake because I knew it was going to suck.  But man….trying to make the character sympathetic?  WHY?  The way he was written, it’s like some dumb Deviantart girl got ahold of money and said “now I can write a tragic backstory for my dear sweet misguided serial killer~<3”.  You know, I bet when they go to remake Jason, the ONE character you’re supposed to feel sorry for and see why he turned into a monster, they’re probably going to make him pure evil for no reason.  Or maybe flip that his mother wasn’t good, but some heartless bitch who couldn’t stand the look of him an’ chucked him into the lake~

    • Tom
      Tom
      NewbieDotCom.Com
      Comments: 5

      Um… They already did remake Friday the 13th three years ago.  It was far better than the Halloween and Nightmare on Elm Street remakes, but still completely forgettable and unnecessary nonetheless.

      • Phelous
        Phelous
        Administrator
        Comments: 618

        Yeah the Friday the 13th “ReMake” mostly comes off as a sub par sequel and is just kinda lackluster.

        • TheDog
          TheDog
          NewbieDotCom.Com
          Comments: 7

          Which means it’s still far, far superior to this film. I mean, at least that movie didn’t go out of it’s way to make us sympathize with Jason, and his story is taken from the original movies.

  • ethercrowley
    Old Man
    Comments: 1

    Just wondering if I’m the only one who didn’t find anything scary about the original or the remake. I don’t get how a super powerful mindless killing machine is scary, when we know that such individuals do not exist. I am not afraid of Michael Myers in the same way I’m not afraid of the Creeper from Jeepers Creepers. I actually quite like the remake. Was the reasoning for his snap cliche as all hell, sure, but it’s not like the reason made no sense. Also, he is still likely to slit you stomach to throat. 

    • RedSarah
      RedSarah
      Fighting Steffi Love
      Comments: 171

      For me, the best way to make a movie scary is to give me characters I like, if not care about, and put them in danger. This is why so many slasher movies aren’t scary – I don’t care about people with no personalities, and I especially don’t care about unlikeable assholes.

       

      I like the original Halloween a lot, because it had a few quiet moments of character development. And it was just a good move. 🙂

      • BoyandHorse
        Old Man
        Comments: 2

        I didn’t find the first 3 Halloween movies scary either (I’ve not seen the remakes), but I really enjoyed the villain in Halloween III, he was perfectly creepy. Still wasn’t scary.

        But, horror movies are better when you care if one of the characters lives, that’s why Eli Roth’s movie will always suck, you never care about anyone in the film.

  • André
    André
    Old Man
    Comments: 2

    Which is a bigger cry baby, Shao Khan in MK Annihilation or Michael Myers in this Halloween remake?

  • Adam Allen
    Adam Allen
    Old Man
    Comments: 1

    First time poster and ive just got to ask, who the hecks face poped up in the mirror in the very last two seconds of the review XD

  • cosmosblue772
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 7

    This film just looks ugly and uninteresting. The thing that works about the original is the fact that such horror can come in places that seem to be secure and safe, and can appear without any rhyme or reason. Its sad because that while the original is a good movie, especially in comparison to this, a lot of people probably can’t appreciate it because its been referenced so many times, and of the fact that with this movie things have to be gorier, grittier, and raunchier for things to make an impact. What the hell happened to tension and mystery, and a feeling of dread to which things would lead to a much more palpable impact when things did become horiffic. Hopefully there will be a day when the term “Less is more” will be appreciated again. Hopefully…:/

  • RisingFire
    Old Man
    Comments: 1

    I’m curious Phelous, what is your opinion on the other films in the original series?

     

    My favorites are H1, H2,(the originals) and H4(even if the thumb thing is really silly.)

     

    Great review by the way, I hate the Rob Zombie Halloweens.

  • wetman
    CUUUUT
    Comments: 69

    This episode didn’t have Halloweenie in it! I wanted to hear about how this movies is NOTHING like the origi- it makes some connections to the origina- it’s EXACTLY like the original Halloween and twice as scary! *turns eye lights on*

  • David
    David
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 22

    This was a great review. I too hated this movie but have
    come across quite a few people who prefer it to the original. I can’t for the
    life of me understand why though. The original Halloween was so, so terrifying
    because Michael represented a human-being totally relieved of conscience or
    reason. He was enigmatic in the way that the monsters you imagine outside your
    window in the dark are when you’re only a little kid. Those imaginary monsters
    never needed a back-story to be scary, on the contrary, their indefinable
    nature is what made them scary. Michael Myers is creepy because you can almost
    imagine looking out your window at midnight
    and seeing him standing there in the backyard, he’s that much of a universal
    source of fright, but that element is totally ruined by this remake putting him
    in such a specific and detailed context. That said I do at least appreciate
    that Rob Zombie was trying to approach the character from a different angle; it
    just happened to be the wrong one. Sure sometimes it’s great to give characters
    an interesting back-story but an important part of making a horror movie is
    knowing when to keep things mysterious. Why don’t horror directors seem to realise
    that anymore? Same problem with that god-awful Thing prequel. Some stories are
    better left to the audiences imagination.

  • joster
    Old Man
    Comments: 4

    I actually like the remake *Hides from remake-hater mob*

     

    Still better than one of those sequels to the original… Thorn curse?  Really?

  • Original_Outcast
    Original_Outcast
    Old Man
    Comments: 3

    Fun Fact: Long ago there was an Interview when Rob Zombie stated that he actually asked John Carpenter Permission to remake Halloween and the only advice John gave him was “Make it your own Movie” I guess he took that into a literal sense due to giving nearly every male character facial hair. lol

  • Opus Kan
    Old Man
    Comments: 1

    I often refuse to watch remakes due to the fact the I think it’s kind of a stupid concept in order for movie studios to cash in on either fans of the original or people who haven’t seen the original. I was first curious about this remake then decided not to see it because no one could beat John Carpenter at the creepiness of the original especially Rob Zombie because of saying how you should feel and humanizing Michael Myers. Also, the everyone is a sexed up asshole has been tried by Eli “OOh Faced!” Roth to horrible ends so I’m not sure why you would want to follow that.

    Also I watched the MK: Conquest video right before this and noticed something interesting for fans of MST3K. Zero or whatever his name was The Runaway in the movie Future War. Thought Phelous might want to look into that for comidic value.

    Great review as usual Phelous!

  • HatefulCactus
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 29

    Your facial expression after the “Lasts Forever” bit, had me laughing. Hoping that the Evil Dead remake doesn’t end up like the Halloween remakes.

  • Jaimas
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 17

    I have to ask when it was that proper sequential storytelling and suspense just up and got itself shot in the face. The bog-standard practice for movies these days seems to be to avoid having likable characters or a natural flow to the story and instead replace them with jump-scares, gore, and RAAAAAR RAAAAR I’M SCAAAAARY.

    Thank the internet ghosts that we have Phelous to cut this nonsense down a peg.

  • aspire77
    aspire77
    Just might make the CUT
    Comments: 40

    17:37
    holy unintentional comedy, batman!

  • HelloFade3
    Old Man
    Comments: 2

    Great review,as always. One thing i think you should have done with all those clips of young Michael Myers going ” I’M NOT LISTENING!!!Ehhhh!” Is incorporate it into that one scene from the movie Hancock where that same kid/actor basically gets “owned” if you will by Hancock (Will Smith)

  • ArmpitOfCthulhu
    ArmpitOfCthulhu
    Old Man
    Comments: 3

    I’m a really big fan of Rob Zombie’s music and I like a few of his films (House of 1000 Corpses, Devils Rejects). So it’s really sad to see him screw an entire series. Can’t wait for the next review!

  • joshmartyn
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 20

    it was like the third one know one wants to remeber it

  • NPettinato14
    Old Man
    Comments: 4

    Rob Zombie keeps proving himself a one-dimensional director. We see the same bearded, filthy, psychotic characters in each film. They always prosecute their killing spree on the basis of analogic, as in the Devil’s Rejects where killing is just super fun! Even his CSI: Miami episode walked this straight and narrow line (satan + killing + rape = boring; a solid equation).

     

    I can say the only reason I watched this flick was for Danielle Harris’ presence (and gratuitous fan service). Without that, the characters were vapid, grotesque and unlikeable in every sense of the word. I didn’t care if any of the others survived and you end up rooting for Michael by the end. The message Zombie tries to convey is usually that killers are more entertaining than real people; they should draw your sympathy more than the victims. Does that really resonate with people? :-\

  • The Four Seven
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 7

    This movie offended me. Not as in it crossed some personal moral line; I felt like it was actively trying to make me hate it throughout its entire running time. We have a “sympathetic” villain who only came off as really annoying (seriously, the sounds that kid makes when he’s beating those bullies to death in the woods. Seriously.) The only sympathy for Michael Myers this film generated from me was the fact that everyone around him was the most horrible piece of shit who ever lived and I totally get why he wanted to kill everything. I would too if I lived in Rob Zombie’s little “everything is horrible” world. And by the end when it’s all just degenerated into CONSTANT SCREAMING I was actually yelling at the movie to shut up, a feat no movie before this had accomplished. Since I haven’t officially watched A Serbian Film yet (and thanks to The Cinema Snob, Oancitizen and Phelous as well, I likely won’t ever be), Rob Zombie’s Halloween is **THE WORST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN**

  • Phelous
    Phelous
    Administrator
    Comments: 618

    Stop posting that. I don’t want people being directed to someone who stole my content.
    If you really want to see the original edit it’s on my dailymotion:
    https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6j24zb

    • Lulzy Hunter
      Lulzy Hunter
      NewbieDotCom.Com
      Comments: 12

      Sorry about that, but since copyrighters were being a bitch to forcing you to privatize your video, I pointing to an alternative. Do you intend to get the uploader to take it down?