• Kuro92
    Comments: 10

    First i’m so happy, i dont think i will ever be this happy again….


    P.S. the budget for this comment was more than the movie’s

  • omendaos
    Comments: 10

    Damn Phelous you look so miserable in your title cards.

  • Doctor Darkness
    Doctor Darkness
    Old Man
    Comments: 3

    Whoa, clearly this movie should have been about awesome-big-black-moustache-POLICE-shirt-guy instead of… Everyone else in this garbage. Too bad he got *the rest of this comment is made inaudible by bumping into the mike, err keyboard err*


    P.S. Nice move from the artist to put Swamp Thing on the title card!

  • Ambertino
    Old Man
    Comments: 4

    Yay! A movie that didn’t make you miserable 🙂 … as miserable…

  • Marussia
    Comments: 11

    Awww Phelous, I don’t think your ‘old style’ of reviews will EVER bore us (at least not me).

  • OuroborosChoked
    Comments: 11

    I went to college with one of the actresses in this movie… The gothy looking chick is her…

    She’s a really nice person 🙂

    …and there’s nothing wrong with the phrase “it won’t turn over”. It means the engine won’t start… like the battery’s dead… I mean, unless you were actually going for that stupid of a joke…

  • RedSarah
    Fighting Steffi Love
    Comments: 171

    Ahhhhhhh, such a relief to find incompetence again this week. Um, in the movie, I mean.

    That bathroom was the scariest thing in this movie. Seriously, she probably has hepatitis now from going barefoot in that bathroom, let alone showering in it.

    The music was pretty creepy too. Why are you making out where the dead AND mothers are watching you? *shudder*

  • Nils B-Film
    Nils B-Film
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 21

    I watch a lot of backyard gore films, but a running time of almost two hours? I think I would have passed on this one. This was a fun review.  There’s a lot to trash in an amaturish film, which is fun in its own right…  but I personally feel bad whenever I do.  We all make shitty movies, and this looks like what I filmed with my old class mates. Home digital camera amature shit like this holds a place in my heart. I can’t bash this like I would a big budget film. Amatures gotta have their fun. All depends on expectations. If I buy a DVD on fullprice not knowing what I get and it looks like this, I’d probably go to your level of trashing too, hehe. Enough rambling. Best part in this was easily the Birdemic music making it’s way in!

    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 36

    Is that Andrew W.K. In the movie?!  Oh and Phelous,  never stop your old style of reviews it makes you you and you kick ass. What? Just saying.

  • QuetzaDrake
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 38

    Psst, Phelous, a car “turning over” is referring to the sound it makes when you turn the key to start it, the kinda RR-RR-RR-RR thing before it actually starts. A car not turning over means it’s not even doing that and truly dead.

    But in all fairness, such a phenomenon usually means a dead battery so she’s just an idiot.

  • WikiSorcerer
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 33

    ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!!! I’ll like the stupid changes in the review! Just stop playing that stupid Swamp Zombies Theme!!!

  • grimandgrimmer
    Old Man
    Comments: 1

    Unless I’m mistaken, that park ranger knows Taekwondo. But even still, not a well made movie.

  • The FanFic Critic
    The FanFic Critic
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 24

    …wow…that’s sad…well, it’s still better than the last movie you had to review.

  • KanoLives
    Comments: 13

    LOL @ fight sequences with the Blue Meanie. I dunno about the soundtrack, it sounds like a cheap low-rent version of the band Coven. And the editing is definitely atrocious, but thats almost nothing. You wanna talk editing Phelous, watch After Last Season, shit-editing, boredom and snoozefest combined as a nice trilogy package on 1 DVD.

  • Phoenixfirex
    Comments: 10

    i actually laughed at: I See them -Just Hangin’ Out, Hangin’ Out… Hangin’ Out- outside in the tree.


    As for the movie… WHAT WERE THEY THINKING!?!?!!

  • keeganbdouglass
    Comments: 15

    Which do you think is worse, Stephen Stevenson or John Johnson?

  • Smashley26
    Old Man
    Comments: 1

    I’ve been watching Nostalgia Critic for a while and, though I enjoy his reviews, it is on your site that I have created an account. You make me laugh a lot, which is a nice little break from my stressful-as-balls life! 😉 Plus, horror movies take up the majority of my DVD rack, so it’s nice to happen across someone who does hilaaarious reviews of the shitty ones!

  • New To The Terror
    Comments: 11

    I seriously want to have that song, so when I when watch this movie with friends, I can play it and we can all laugh at the memory of this crap.


  • Kenny_Carmine
    Comments: 15

    Having to put up with such stupid movies….and we appreciate it! YOU ARE AWESOME!

  • Hemicrypta
    Comments: 13

    When I saw Len Kabasinski half way through the review I was like “Ohhhh, ok, that explains it!”