27 Comments

  • Ellison Hawley
    Ellison Hawley
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 5

    Maybe it’s just me, but these Internet horror movies seem to have no clue how the Internet actually works; what’s next, a film about online test patterns killing people?

  • WikiSorcerer
    WikiSorcerer
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 33
    1. And I was really hoping you would die in this film. I think it hasn’t happened since Black Christmas (if Kano-Phelous counts as you or something, in which Triangle is the last film “You” died in or something, in which case you died multiple times… maybe).
    2. You could have used maybe a few Hellraiser jokes to with the whole “killing people with hooks and chains” thing.
    3. And does Andrew remind anyone else of Chris Farley?
  • omendaos
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 10

    I hella thought that you were going to make a refrance to the Silent Hill Cat jumpscare at 7:40.
    Oh and thanks to this movie I learned that chain letters really have been around for about 200 years in the form of actual letters, who would’ve thought.

    • RedSarah
      RedSarah
      Fighting Steffi Love
      Comments: 171

      Yeah, chain letters actually used to be letters and not forwards. Back when I was in 5th or 6th grade (late 80’s), I got a chain letter in the mail. Being young and naive, I totally went and sent copies of the letter to six friends. It wasn’t until after I’d spent money on postage that my mom explained to me that it was a scam as old as time. But the important thing is that I didn’t have bad luck for 7 years!

  • ZekyZek
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 20

    What? Phelous didn’t die again? Blasphemy!
    I wonder if you are even real Phelous and not his evil twin or something.
    Anyway very funny video I love your reviews.

  • The D1
    The D1
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 17

    God damn it Phelan, fucking Spider Dungeons.

    Also I think the giggle from the classmates when the teacher said, “My Tube, Your Space.” is because in addition to being a blatant ignorance, and a not so subtle aversion to copyrighted names, it’s also a painfully stupid and childish innunendo.

     

    “I’d like to put My Tube in Your Space!”

     

     

  • Demonjack123@aol.com
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 24

    nice new tv dude! and that movie really sucks from what I’ve just seen =/

  • moviebuffmel90
    moviebuffmel90
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 22

    Seriously, killer chain mail? What will they think of next? Still, great review and had a great time enjoying cameos by your title card artist and the son of Colin Mochrie. Whose Line Lives!!!

  • ModeWondershot
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 5

    Hm, another lousy movie that I’m sure won’t…KEITH DAVID! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING IN THIS CRAP?!

    Still, the review itself looks like it won’t be as wacky as…LUKE MOCHRIE! AND YOU’RE ENGAGING IN HILARIOUS SELF-PARODY!

    Wow, Phelous, this one was a real winner, both for the film being reviewed and the skit therein. Well done.

  • StormyPopsicle
    StormyPopsicle
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 34

    KITTY. BLACK. KITTY. CUTE. 😀

    they are high school students? i thought they were college kids… one girl looked 26

    DPJFLOJEOF KEITH EFFIN DAVIDDDDD *DIED* hes too good for this movie. CALL 911!!

    I sent this reveiw to 3 of my friends… so if they don’t send it to other people will they die if they don’t watch it!??

  • RedSarah
    RedSarah
    Fighting Steffi Love
    Comments: 171

    Kitty!

    I guess the lesson here is not to play WoW. And why does the anti-technology cult that’s super-magical at technology use barcodes as their secret cult tattoo? That’s literally a technological method of identification!

    Punky did a really nice job on the “Oh Phelous” cover!

  • Markseth
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 10

    I hate this movie. In fact, I hate it so much, I’m going to get “Chain Letter” tattooed on my forehead.  Then I’m going to email this movie to everyone in the world and kill anyone who doesn’t watch it.  Then I’m going to email the creators of this movie and threaten to kill them if they don’t make 1,000 sequels to it.  Then I’m going to destroy every other movie in the world so that only this movie exists.  Then I’m going to sire as many children as possible and force them to watch this movie every day for the rest of their lives.  That’s how much I HATE this movie!

     

     

  • mimefan
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 7

    I’ve gotta say great review, but if black detective d00d is Gumshoe, does that make uncomfortable silence girl Ema Skye?

  • Emptysquare
    Emptysquare
    Old Man
    Comments: 1

    Keith David?…as in Keith…David? Come on man, you were in Platoon! and probably some other stuff…

  • voorheesjr
    Old Man
    Comments: 1

    When the “glasses” guy got killed I fully expected a Scorpion “Get over Here!!!” bit.

  • thelovelynerd29
    thelovelynerd29
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 7

    Heyyyy, we have the same checking our email song! *sings*
    great review, as per usual my good man!

  • Seventy-7
    Old Man
    Comments: 1

    Holy shit. It’s Goliath!!!! (The detective dude)

    Ugh. I feel sorry for him.

  • Sunnymuffins
    Sunnymuffins
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 7

    Did anyone else think the detective was going to start rattling off about Cerberus the moment he mentioned that “radical group” from those few years back? Whaddya mean you can’t trust me because I’m working for them? DO YOU REMEMBER WHO I AM? I GAVE YOU THAT SEAT ON THE COUNCIL.

  • octo7
    Just might make the CUT
    Comments: 42

    Is it just me, or does the killer sound like Plinkett from redlettermedia? Especially when he says “I HATE YOUR FACE”. I LOL’d hard.

  • Emo Bunny
    Emo Bunny
    Old Man
    Comments: 4

    Was I the only one who noticed That the one detective lady who said ‘when it rains it pours’ was Jigsaw’s wife??

  • likalaruku
    likalaruku
    Completely Useless Now
    Comments: 934

    I miss Luke’s split personality reviews. Whatever happened to him? & 8bit Mickey? & Lordkat? & That Chick with the Goggles?

  • likalaruku
    likalaruku
    Completely Useless Now
    Comments: 934

    Every time I rewatch this review, this movie sounds dumber & dumber.

    A review withing a review. Reviewception.

  • cRaZyJ21
    cRaZyJ21
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 19

    Heh if there was a such thing as “Evil Tech 101” class, I’d be in there wearing my circuit board shirt, pants, and mask (because dress code) and I’d make beeping noises every time the teacher asks the class a question (because trolling is fun).

    Well shit I’d better get that internet barcode virus off my computer. Maybe I got it from buying stuff online. Holy crap that sort of thing might make se– NO.

    OH NO I PUT UP MY FAVORITE COLOUR NOW i’M GOING TO GET TROLLED FOR LIKING HELIOTROPE!

    How do I YourSpace      ?

    This is Stupid v.-10 (as in -10 IQ points)

  • M Chambers
    CUUUUT
    Comments: 67

    4:00 “Don’t you think it’s worth giving up some of your privacy so you can communicate with the world?”

     

    “Those who would trade liberty for security deserve neither liberty nor security.” Thomas Jefferson.

  • M Chambers
    CUUUUT
    Comments: 67

    21:11 LOL! Better than the Three Stooges!