• Desicas
    Comments: 17

    Seriously, how were you able to sit through this movie (I’m assuming multiple times) long enough to write a review?  With that question out of the way, how long until you finally snap?


    Love your work man, hopefully in the future you get to do some bad movies that are at least entertaining to watch 🙂

    • Phelous
      Comments: 625

      I was able to sit through this movie probably because of the fact I’ve all ready snapped. Haha yeah… we’ll see.

      • Desicas
        Comments: 17

        When they show the inside of the oil tanker/rave/commune, the proportions also seem way off from a normal oil tanker.  There’s no way anyone wouldn’t notice a tank THAT big (exept the retards in this movie).  And another thing, why the hell would you set up in an oil tanker?  Wouldn’t there be more room in a normal semi trailer?  Jeeze this movie is stupid.

      • Jellah-Feesh
        Just might make the CUT
        Comments: 46

        Wait… if you kissed everyone (through the camera, I assume), does that mean we’re ALL blood-lusting murderous crazy people now?

  • Conchobar Manthei
    Conchobar Manthei
    Old Man
    Comments: 1

    This was released in 2003 huh, I guess we know now the inspiration for the writers of LOST.

  • Thorbie
    Old Man
    Comments: 2

    And this is why Phelous is my favorite reviewer on TGWTG.

    Lol. Wow. What a terrible movie and what a terrible plot. So basically people were killed on the road senselessly due to a religious cult which hated abortions. Know what would make sense? Not trying to kill the mom, because… SHE DIDN’T HAVE AN ABORTION!!!! LOL!

    Like the plot idea of a mad anti-abortion group has some tiny bit of creativity, but when you actually face the fact that the abortion never actually happened, then the whole concept goes out the window. Plus, why a random highway? Why not go to Planned Parenthood? Lol. How did they even know she planned on having one? Did she set up an appointment and back out? Did they read her mind and decide that even thinking about it means she deserved to die? Lol. So many plot holes. Plus if they ran the diner, the police etc, why not just kill her at the diner, instead of dragging it out down 50 miles of highway? Lol.

    The ending was priceless. Perfect delivery of the Troll 2 line. Btw, Benzaie has a pretty kickass business card.

    • Phelous
      Comments: 625

      Yup would have been so easy to get rid of her if the fake cop just said “come with me”. Again too much sense though. Just like murdering the father for the cell phone. They had to kill him right away because he was having the gull to try and go home… Yeah Benzaie’s card is awesome haha.

  • Agent47
    Comments: 10

    Yeah…..don’t know how you managed to sit through this bore-fest.
    I was completely lost on the story in the end. Hopefully the nexr Pulse will be good……right? RIGHT!?!?!?
    Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go find a razor blade….Coolness, here I come!

  • The Critic Kid
    The Critic Kid
    Old Man
    Comments: 3

    That was awesome! I particularly loved that ‘Oh my GOOOOOOOOD’ was referenced not once, but twice. That is indeed so legendary, it ought to be mentioned as often as possible.

    Did you have a microphone in the car with you, or did you dub yourself in post production?

  • PickPikmin
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 26

    Dude. Awesome shirt. I want one.

  • RoperFDF
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 20

    this movie actually seemed kinda cool at first.

  • megadolaon
    Bat Hero
    Comments: 82

    YES! Perfect Zoolander joke!

    So this movie I think could best be summarized as Five Across the Eyes with a budget, yah? Btw, I really liked that Circus music throughout the death/driving scenes. Should be used more often 🙂 it gave some life to this borefest of a movie.

  • Plasticlion
    Comments: 68

    Daryl Dixon would have just shot all of them with his crossbow.

  • M Chambers
    Comments: 67

    Another great review! I’d just like to remind you that these reviews are the only thing which have prevented me from eating my AK47 for the past four months so please keep’m coming.

  • Hemicrypta
    Comments: 13

    Well, I think it is now clear why Mischa Barton never became the next A-list actress she was touted as being during her time on The OC.

    Also, this is yet another movie that has Norman Reedus looking pretty much the same as on TWD. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him in a role where he looks radically different from Darryl.

  • turbowolf7
    Prodigy Pet Gym Leader
    Comments: 121

    i just realized you uploaded this video on my birthday 5 years ago… alas, i was probably too drunk to enjoy it, but then again what could top Mac and Me being an early birthday present 2 years earlier? nothing, not for all the Jill sandwiches in the world, all of Fat Grandma’s sass flapjacks, nor for all the Sad Panda cameos, Oan Citizen high browed humor, nor seeing Welshy be evil, but never achieve Lemmy-esque levels of badassery, nor for all the To Boldy Flee jokes, or super team ups with Lupa and Brad (the greatest internet review team since Siro and Raiden)…. nothing is better than the beginning of Phelous, laying the smack down on ignorant Jabronis and  electrifying the millions… and millions of the internets viewers… or it was probably a nightmare about global warming…