26 Comments

  • Dunes
    Robert Cop
    Comments: 190

    This movie needs its own documentary.

  • Ultratech94
    End Of Transmission
    S.T.A.R.S.
    Comments: 381

    ah, this is the 2nd movie where a villain with the last name Kahn/Khan is shot in Petra.

  • WhyNeighborDanWhy
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 30

    You can’t convince me this wasn’t a zen-filmmaking movie based on The Adventures of Baron von Munchausen/Time Bandits/Princess Bride

    • WhyNeighborDanWhy
      A Real Turtles Fighter
      Comments: 30

      Also, I thought you were playing up your laughter at the end of that, but then I witnessed it. It’s a good thing you put in that disclaimer about not editing the ending shots of the movie.

      Words don’t really describe this movie do they? It’s like movie decoupage.

  • SpeedyEric
    CUUUUT
    Comments: 64

    I think the production of this movie should have been permanently shutdown, because if you can’t bring back a majority of the cast back to finish the last half of the movie, just stop making your damn movie.
    The “Dark Knight” in this movie is obviously no Batman.
    9:25- You could call it offensively stupid.
    All the characters coming out of the book instantly reminds me of a shitty version of Jumanji.
    12:32- He sounds like a rejected Middle-earth villain.
    15:07- WORST. ZEN RIDDLE. EVER.
    19:30- Oh, for the love of cheese, YOU ARE NO BATMAN, DICKWAD!
    20:40- Please, movie, just stop.
    26:18- You mean it hasn’t fallen apart already?
    I’m surprised that Dean Stockwell’s character never called anyone an “eesshole.”
    30:06- …What the fuck was that all about? I was also thinking of the ending t A Nightmare on Elm Street (both the original and the 2010 reimagining).
    No wonder this movie is rated 2.2 out of 10 on IMDB. Thanks, Lupa, for this review of one of the worst of the worst, which are your best reviews in my eyes.

    • ElfMonster
      ElfMonster
      NewbieDotCom.Com
      Comments: 12

      Precisely. And if you already have trouble finishing the movie, what with the majority of the cast buggering off, don’t end on a f-ing cliffhanger.

  • Earthbound_X
    Earthbound_X
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 31

    I don’t know Lupa, I saw that Russian Sinbad movie that MST3K Riffed, that was a lot of white people.

  • Trixie_is_best
    Trixie_is_best
    Bat Hero
    Comments: 83

    Never is a dull time when you review such hilarious train wrecks like this movie.  I have seen some bad Sinbad movies, but this was a the worst and in the best possible way so.  Although it may not help I have gotten into the habit of watching Asylum movies again on SyFy, so its great to enjoy the cheapness and sometimes lack of effort.

    I dont know if you ever will again, but it would be great if you could review more Asylum movies again like Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf or Zombie Shark.  What can I say, I recently go my old Asylum addiction back again.

  • Handsome Pete
    Handsome Pete
    Bat Hero
    Comments: 95

    He’s called “the cruelest wizard,” not “the cruelest good wizard.”  He could be the equivalent of a yellow belt in wizardry.

  • Gunvor
    Gunvor
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 10

    21:37
    Wait wait wait, not so fast movie. I saw that boom mic.

    29:17
    You weren’t kidding Lupa. I must have rewatched that thing at least 5 times and it’s still hysterical. I wasn’t ready for that the first time and my soda went all over the place.

  • Dust
    Bat Hero
    Comments: 80

    Words… hell, onomatopoeias signifying confusion fail me.

    I think you’re right. This is a thing that needs to be experienced in full.

  • Mischalaniouse
    Mischalaniouse
    Old Man
    Comments: 2

    I thought for sure you were going to end it on a triple zoom-in freeze frame of your face!

  • MrGreen
    MrGreen
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 12

    I saw this movie once not really realizing I had seen this. I was rather drunk and it was on in the background at a friend house. I had no idea what movie it was until now.

  • iatethecrayon
    iatethecrayon
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 32

    This…is amazing….its like merlin’s mystical shop of wonders bad…holy shit. That ending.

    • iatethecrayon
      iatethecrayon
      A Real Turtles Fighter
      Comments: 32

      At least Dean Stockwell had BSG to look forward to after this movie. He went from swept under the run train wreck back to quality again!

    • likalaruku
      likalaruku
      Completely Useless Now
      Comments: 785

      Merlin’s Mystical Shop of Wonders was pretty bad, but not in a memorable hilarious way. This is more like a bad dub that was Bruno Mattei’d into another unrelated movie, with Master of Disguise levels of bad.

  • Spikeprime
    Spike
    The Fuct of Pepsiman
    Comments: 221

    PFFFFTT aaahahahahahaaa XD
    Those ending zooms, what the hell where they thinking X’D
    There could not possibly be a more comedically timed series of cuts and edits than the awful silent slo-mo, and a freeze frame on that hilarious face. I thought for sure that the second zoom would be the funniest, but then it just goes right into his face and I lost it.

    Thank you, this was amazing to behold.

  • likalaruku
    likalaruku
    Completely Useless Now
    Comments: 785

    The DVD cover looks like it said Sinead, as in Sinead O’Connor.

    I hear Blip is getting the axe. I imagine you’ve either already ported all your stuff to Youtube or are in the process of it.

    Dante Bosco…I’ve only ever seen him in Hook, but he is immediately recognizable as Rufio from Hook.

    Murky Khan looks like the love child of Murky Dismal & Queen Amidala.

    It’s got all the comedy of a bad dubb without the mismatched lip count.

    Was the lamp soaked in water?

    Dean Stockwell…. I haven’t laughed this much at a villain since Warriors of Virtue.

    Can the human body handle Sinbad back-to-back with The Incredible Bulk before the laughter explodes the heart?

  • Steve3
    I'm THE BEST!
    Comments: 107

    The ocean is a desert with its life underground and the perfect disguise above

  • happymel2
    happymel2
    Robert Cop
    Comments: 181

    At first, I thought that you were overselling the ending… until I saw it. I was laughing hard, too. I’m still coughing from all that laughing. What really got me was the zooming. Why that much zooming? LOL. 😀 😀 😀

  • BB Shockwave
    BB Shockwave
    Just might make the CUT
    Comments: 42

    isn’t Richard Greco basically… just a dude who likes appearing in film? AFAIK he is not even a professional actor. 🙂

    You should review Almighty Thor someday, Greco is amazing in that – he chews the scenery as much as Murki Khan.

    And LOL, yeah the main villain is silly. 🙂

  • Ottomic
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 19

    Dean Stockwell reminds me of Brian’s mom in the Life of Brian. Only high as a kite.

  • Valdros
    Old Man
    Comments: 1

    Obviously Sinbad is in a desert because the desert is an ocean with its life underground, and the perfect disguise above