Love the opening. picks thing right where they left off. I love it whenever you laugh or cry. It sounds so authentic and hilariouse, and when you started screaming in Homecoming you completely freaked me out. Love it! Some snakes can only see in infared, so it almost makes sense how the snake couldn’t see her covered in mud, but the shitty eye-vision does a poor job of establishing.
BLAAAH!!! CGI-BLOOD AHHHHH!!!!
P*S* One of the Nostalgia Critic is doing Leprechaun in the future and I want to know if it’s you.
P*S*S* If you want bad movies for a Halloween special, I recommend House of the Dead 1 & 2. It’s Uwe Boll for God’s sake. Thinking about the plots and the subject, it resembles Resident Evil, leaving plenty of “Sandwich” jokes lyng and waiting for you.
I don’t agree with everyone who says Alone in the Dark is his worst but in my opinion just because it also stars Tara Reids tits it is not near as much of a slap in the face as House of the Dead is.
Love the opening. picks thing right where they left off. I love it whenever you laugh or cry. It sounds so authentic and hilariouse, and when you started screaming in Homecoming you completely freaked me out. Love it! Some snakes can only see in infared, so it almost makes sense how the snake couldn’t see her covered in mud, but the shitty eye-vision does a poor job of establishing.
BLAAAH!!! CGI-BLOOD AHHHHH!!!!
P*S* One of the Nostalgia Critic is doing Leprechaun in the future and I want to know if it’s you.
P*S*S* If you want bad movies for a Halloween special, I recommend House of the Dead 1 & 2. It’s Uwe Boll for God’s sake. Thinking about the plots and the subject, it resembles Resident Evil, leaving plenty of “Sandwich” jokes lyng and waiting for you.
John Rhys Davies usually classes up the bad movies he’s in, but I’m not sure about this one. I think Hasslehoff’s inclusion reverses any positive effect Davies’ super-suave British-ness may have had.
Great job with dubbing the “Star Wars” and “Baywatch” over the movie dialogue. That’s never not funny (double negatives, yay!). You chose some great scenes to add for comedic effect. Adding Gimili saying “… my axe” to that sentence made me laugh a long time. Including Tina’s “Whyyyyyyy!” from Skinned Deep was awesome.
I don’t think I could face palm any harder than I did over how ridiculous this movie was, but I’m sure Anaconda 4 will dare me to do it. Maybe I should just glue my hand to my forehead in preparation?
I’m jealous of that DBZ collection you had in the corner. I had to sell all my sets.
I can’t decide what I hate more: stupid shitty remakes of classic horror/thriller movies, or stupid shitty sequels of long dead horror/thriller franchises. Cause I mean, with the sequel-revivals, you get crap like this and I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer, but with remakes, you get crap like Wicker Man.
I can’t even base it on how much hilarious women-punching is contained within them, since both Cage and the Hoff here went on a misogyny spree… I guess I’ll say the sequels are worse since at least they had the decency of putting Cage in a bear suit, too.
Wow, I don’t know what was more painful, Hasselhoff trying to act like a badass or that terrible CGI. I don’t know much about snakes, but they DO blink, don’t they?
It is never a good sign when the SyFy channel gets their hands on a film series to do their own, CGI-riddled, sequels. They did the same thing to Pumpkinhead 3 & 4 (which, shockingly enough, sucked).
Also, I’m always astounded at how many SyFy Originals JRD ends up in. I guess he’s padding the bank account or saving up for a new house. I think I’m more shocked they didn’t manage to get Eric Roberts in there to (Guess they were saving him for Sharktopus).
Great review. I’m looking forward to Part 4. The first time I could ever say that about Anaconda 4.
Yay another crapy movie filmed in my country! 😀 Oh my god , i think there’s a black anaconda out side of my window! it sure is hard living in Romania with all these anacondas around.
Okay, so after finding this site and going through all the reviews, it’s up to this point I’ve finally seen something to push me to comment. Or at least cause me to still ask for clarification knowing it’s been months since the video has been posted.
Is that seriously CGI mud splashing on that actress when she falls at 11:40?
That is the worst CGI I’ve ever seen. The Crocodile movies look at least 5 times better. And the plot to these films just get stupider. I almost want to commend them for trying to hold onto some kind of long winded plot like the Flowers = The T-Virus or something. But its still just too stupid. It makes no sense why the Anaconda didn’t eat the main lady when she was at her car and then they turn the Anaconda into a Predator.
Is the blood spit meant to be acid? Why do sequels always get cheaper? You’d think they’d get better, at least in the tech and effects department, because they’re using the money they made off of the previous movies. So WHY do they always look CHEAPER?!?! Where is the money going??
Great review as always and I remember when this came out on dvd and I saw that David Hasslehoff was in it and I just thought two things 1) this is gonna be awful and 2) I have to see this.
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Love the opening. picks thing right where they left off. I love it whenever you laugh or cry. It sounds so authentic and hilariouse, and when you started screaming in Homecoming you completely freaked me out. Love it! Some snakes can only see in infared, so it almost makes sense how the snake couldn’t see her covered in mud, but the shitty eye-vision does a poor job of establishing.
BLAAAH!!! CGI-BLOOD AHHHHH!!!!
P*S* One of the Nostalgia Critic is doing Leprechaun in the future and I want to know if it’s you.
P*S*S* If you want bad movies for a Halloween special, I recommend House of the Dead 1 & 2. It’s Uwe Boll for God’s sake. Thinking about the plots and the subject, it resembles Resident Evil, leaving plenty of “Sandwich” jokes lyng and waiting for you.
I don’t agree with everyone who says Alone in the Dark is his worst but in my opinion just because it also stars Tara Reids tits it is not near as much of a slap in the face as House of the Dead is.
Love the opening. picks thing right where they left off. I love it whenever you laugh or cry. It sounds so authentic and hilariouse, and when you started screaming in Homecoming you completely freaked me out. Love it! Some snakes can only see in infared, so it almost makes sense how the snake couldn’t see her covered in mud, but the shitty eye-vision does a poor job of establishing.
BLAAAH!!! CGI-BLOOD AHHHHH!!!!
P*S* One of the Nostalgia Critic is doing Leprechaun in the future and I want to know if it’s you.
P*S*S* If you want bad movies for a Halloween special, I recommend House of the Dead 1 & 2. It’s Uwe Boll for God’s sake. Thinking about the plots and the subject, it resembles Resident Evil, leaving plenty of “Sandwich” jokes lyng and waiting for you.
John Rhys Davies usually classes up the bad movies he’s in, but I’m not sure about this one. I think Hasslehoff’s inclusion reverses any positive effect Davies’ super-suave British-ness may have had.
Great job with dubbing the “Star Wars” and “Baywatch” over the movie dialogue. That’s never not funny (double negatives, yay!). You chose some great scenes to add for comedic effect. Adding Gimili saying “… my axe” to that sentence made me laugh a long time. Including Tina’s “Whyyyyyyy!” from Skinned Deep was awesome.
I don’t think I could face palm any harder than I did over how ridiculous this movie was, but I’m sure Anaconda 4 will dare me to do it. Maybe I should just glue my hand to my forehead in preparation?
I’m jealous of that DBZ collection you had in the corner. I had to sell all my sets.
Yeah you might as well.
Well at least those DBZ sets are pretty cheap if you ever want to get them back.
I laughed really hard every time you added engine noises to those snakes!
That was some especially bad CGI for 2008, I thought we could do better then that by then.
Why do kids like Cinnamon Toast Crunch? We demand to know, Phelous.
Wait until my super snakes are perfected. I’ll find out.
I can’t decide what I hate more: stupid shitty remakes of classic horror/thriller movies, or stupid shitty sequels of long dead horror/thriller franchises. Cause I mean, with the sequel-revivals, you get crap like this and I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer, but with remakes, you get crap like Wicker Man.
I can’t even base it on how much hilarious women-punching is contained within them, since both Cage and the Hoff here went on a misogyny spree… I guess I’ll say the sequels are worse since at least they had the decency of putting Cage in a bear suit, too.
Wow, I don’t know what was more painful, Hasselhoff trying to act like a badass or that terrible CGI. I don’t know much about snakes, but they DO blink, don’t they?
Please tell me you sped up those snakes…
Haha nope, that’s the actual movie’s speed for the snakes.
No, snakes can’t blink the have fused and transparent eyelids.
Ahh, thanks. I don’t know why, I was imagining they had something like a cat’s inner eyelids.
Though on another watching, I saw that when first breaking out of the tank the snake blinked. :facepalm:
great review Phelous…. but what the hell was Benzaie watching when you cut to him???
A GameFap episode.
It is never a good sign when the SyFy channel gets their hands on a film series to do their own, CGI-riddled, sequels. They did the same thing to Pumpkinhead 3 & 4 (which, shockingly enough, sucked).
Also, I’m always astounded at how many SyFy Originals JRD ends up in. I guess he’s padding the bank account or saving up for a new house. I think I’m more shocked they didn’t manage to get Eric Roberts in there to (Guess they were saving him for Sharktopus).
Great review. I’m looking forward to Part 4. The first time I could ever say that about Anaconda 4.
How can a movie this horrible even make it to DVD? David Hasselholf needs to give it up! lol
Ah, back when the days when The Hoff was almost relevant.
I really enjoy your multi-part film saga reviews!
Forget about the Cinna Toast Crunch, WHERE’S THE CREAM FILLING?
If the ending was supposed to look stupid why it was so hilarious? Seriously you’re the best.
Yay another crapy movie filmed in my country! 😀 Oh my god , i think there’s a black anaconda out side of my window! it sure is hard living in Romania with all these anacondas around.
I always wondered why the “WHYYYYYYYYY!” cry never became a running gag. Maybe now finally it will be put to proper use.
And I realise I wrote” why the why cry”
Why cry the why cry while crying why?
Sorry…
Okay, so after finding this site and going through all the reviews, it’s up to this point I’ve finally seen something to push me to comment. Or at least cause me to still ask for clarification knowing it’s been months since the video has been posted.
Is that seriously CGI mud splashing on that actress when she falls at 11:40?
Your french friend had what looked like cheap cartoon porn playing on his computer when he said “sacrebloo” or something.
theres no such thing as logic in these movies or err wait… *reads a book about anacondas* wait im right 😀
That is the worst CGI I’ve ever seen. The Crocodile movies look at least 5 times better. And the plot to these films just get stupider. I almost want to commend them for trying to hold onto some kind of long winded plot like the Flowers = The T-Virus or something. But its still just too stupid. It makes no sense why the Anaconda didn’t eat the main lady when she was at her car and then they turn the Anaconda into a Predator.
Is the blood spit meant to be acid? Why do sequels always get cheaper? You’d think they’d get better, at least in the tech and effects department, because they’re using the money they made off of the previous movies. So WHY do they always look CHEAPER?!?! Where is the money going??
Great review as always and I remember when this came out on dvd and I saw that David Hasslehoff was in it and I just thought two things 1) this is gonna be awful and 2) I have to see this.
lol every time i see the old CA logo now i just cant help my self but to do a phelous “NOPE” when it pops up.