Watch in awe at Golden Films’s attempt to cash in on Anastasia with annoying side kicks and Rasputin taking over Russia!
Anastasia (Golden Films) – Phelous
Watch in awe at Golden Films’s attempt to cash in on Anastasia with annoying side kicks and Rasputin taking over Russia!
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1:14 Any particular reason you chose the Phil Demmel guitar or was it just random?
You know, I normally at least attempt to watch these movies before watching Phelous review em; I could not for this one, it gave me a fucking headache almost 10 minutes in and I just had to turn it off.
So I respect your willpower Phelous for managing to watch this movie (and if you still watch movies a 2nt time to collect notes)
Normally bad kid movies like this don’t piss me off all that much, but this one was fucking insulting to not only kids; but the whole animation art form in general!
Wow, I didn’t think it was possible to out-stupid Romanov’s being musical instruments, but they did it! At least the UAV concluded their story and had some small semblance of a point. Sure, killing Rasputin probably wouldn’t have been a happy ending, but neither is this! Or where they actually hoping to get a sequel? Because that would’ve been hilarious.
And that animation and character designs… Congratulation, Golden Films you honestly can rival Dingo Pictures in your incompetence. When I saw uncle Boris I thought it was Evil Russian Mario and foolishly thought that this movie was going somewhere (Who was he by the way? Stalin? Lenin? Trotsky? Although for all the historical nonsense they did, he might as well be Kornilov)
Also, did they really made so much movies? I don’t know what to say.
Well, looking forward when one day Phelous reviews the last of them and gets a medal for the strongest endurance in the world! Or all their stupidity and annoyance combined will result in the universe shooting itself)
Great review!
Well, give them some tiny scrap of credit for getting at least the number of siblings right, and having Nicholas actually look like the real historical figure…
Also, for the record, the Tsar and his kids actually did sometimes go to meet injured soldiers and veterans, but it was more of the courtesy visit kind of thing…you know, like Archduke Ferdinand of Austria-Hungary was doing…
That sardonic laughter at 18:38 reminds me of a Dingo Pictures laughter with all this stiff head bobbing. I get the feeling there is a bad-animation-singularity on the horizon and good ol’ Phelous is heading towards it at full speed. Could it be…? Is it some sort of prophetic vision of *shudder* Animal Soccer World?
The thought alone gives me the jibblies! *jibblies*
I wonder if Dingo’s version of Anastasia is next. It’s hilarious.
Yup. He has it on his Patreon page 😀
This… This fucking movie… Oh god. From the Bolsheviks IMMEDIATELY gaining power of the country after the killing of the Czar, to goddamn RASPUTIN LEADING THE BOLSHEVIKS, who are literally wearing red, to just everything. I just… I fucking can’t… You have a will of steel to have sat through this whole damn thing Phelous, deep respect from me for that.
Odd side notes related (kinda) to the movie: When they finally found the skeletal remains of the Romanov family some of the corpses still had brains in them, despite the rest of their bodies long since having decayed. (They were majoritively identified by clothing.) No point to that, just thought I’d give some people nightmares… Also you were right about the jewelry, but the truth was more disturbing than this stupid film depicted. When the bullets were stopped initially, some of the members of the family were goddamn bayoneted to death… brutal.
Also Stalin was occasionally referred to by the Politburo as the ‘Red Czar’ , but only ever behind his back. One of the best biographies on Stalin’s life (one of the most even handed and accurate) was actually called ‘The court of the Red Czar’ in reference to this. Also one of Stalin’s pet nicknames was ‘ZoZo’. Cute yet… disturbing.
Random question for you Phelous: Did your copy of the movie have a sound effect of gunshots after Anastasia ran down the stairs?
The DVD I have has that sound effect (A series of quick pops). At one point someone had uploaded the movie onto Youtube and I saw that their version didn’t have gunshots, it was just instrumental. I have no idea if there’s a way to verify it or not but I’m really curious if there’s two versions of the movie, with/without gunshots. Your review had that scene but had your narration over it so I couldn’t see if the sound effect was there.
Also… seeing Charles Martinet’s name in the credits, I wonder if he’s the voice of the yellow bird? It sounds somewhat close to his Mario voice.
Oh wow, no, it didn’t have gunshots. I checked my VHS of it as well and it’s not on that either. That’s quite interesting that they had a version actually with that. I’d love to see a clip of it.
Yes, any chance you could upload it to youtube or something?
Rasputin’s song sounds like they took half of Les Mis and put it in a blender with garbage water.
Heheh…The last cartoon I saw that used random inapropriate Tchikovsky was a weird Russian spy cartoon from the 60s. Old soviet Russian cartoons are weirdly fascinating, in an acid trip kind of way.
Her entire family has the same face. How do they expect people to tell the characters apart?
Bird: ::Bitch whine moan complain insult:: Anastasia. “This is the best present EVER! Thanks Dad!”
Yup, I totally remember learning in school that Rasputin took over Russia.
Everybody remembers learning the history lessons about Rasputin taking over Russia. It was right after the lessons about Mecha-Stalin vs Mothra, weird blancmanges from outer space invading the UK and Mahatma Gandhis rise as a nuclear phoenix.
School was fun!
I guess you went to the Golden Films School of History. LOL:D
Everybody also remembers learning about Simon Bolivar liberating South America by fighting the literal embodiment of Tyranny Shonen Battle Anime-style.
I would pay good money to see that one get made. Bolivar as the hotblooded leader, San Martin as the calculating #2, and Bernardo O’Higgins as the big guy. Together they form the awesome robot, Libera-Tor! With Admiral Cochrane piloting their dropship.
Actually it happened but it was an anime knock-off from Colombia called Bolivar el Heroe
Look it up on YouTube
100 years ago — a national tragedy, today — a shitty animated cash-in. Well, let’s hope we’ll live to see the wacky animated romps “Real story of the Holocaust” and “The secret of 9/11”.
And I really wish there was a way for Phelous to review the Russian TMNT book series, most of them perfectly combine his interests: bootlegged merchandise, TMNT and horror.
“The Secret of 9/11”? I’m starting to write a cash-in right now.
I do hope you wait a few decades first.
There’s a bootleg Game Boy Color game based on the attacks called Terrifying 911:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dq7Vlk2r-eo
I know of it from Vinesauce Joel.
Seriously, Phelous needs to get his hands on a copy of that game for a future episode of Bootleg Zones VG!
So, the voice actor of Mario helped wrote the screenplay of this? That would probably explain why one of Anastasia’s sisters in this movie looks like Princess Daisy though.
Also, nice Looney Tunes reference at 20:29. 😀
21:16 Freedom! Ugoiteiru Freedom! Jiyuu ga ar….Wait wrong song. For those who don’t get the reference.
Also, Hello Freedom. Where’s Kira Yamato?
21:16 Hello Freedom. Where’s Kira Yamato when you need him? If they are singing about Freedom, why isn’t globe singing it?
Note: Here’s what I’m referencing with the second sentence for those who don’t get it
You know what they say, all Borscht makes Borscht.
Anastasia really is an alien. She says she will wear the medal over her heart always when it’s pinned to the right. Perhaps she is Vulcan.
1 plothole you pointed out seems to have an explanation: Why is Rasputin suddenly in charge?
Mind control! He used his hypnotism magic on the revolutionary commander.
However, this begs the question: why didn’t he just use that on Anastasia’s father in the first place and avoid the whole messy civil war?
Wow there not much for me to say. This is just bad. Rather Don Bluth version even if its not accurate it told a better story…