• snorgatch
    Comments: 146

    Ah, the ’90s, when it was cool to be a selfish, arrogant, self-absorbed, irresponsible asshole. And he still gets the girl, because the only reason girls exist in these movie–to fall in love with a total douchebag just because he’s the lead.

  • Goldstar
    Bat Hero
    Comments: 84

    The ones whom I feel sorry for are Larry Miller and Courtney Thorne Smith (neither of whom Allison mentioned by name here). The former seemed to be typecast into playing butt monkey antagonists in bad comedies, while the latter went from playing the surfer girl in the movie Summer School to playing the love interest for comedians who would have no chance with her in real life (see also: According to Jim).

  • Silverstar
    Comments: 145

    Chairman of the Board looks, sounds–everything but smells–like a 90’s comedy. In movies like this and The Duke, I always find myself routing for the villains. Yeah, they may be jerks or Stiffly Stiffersons with nefarious goals and/or no sense of humor, but their indignation over being usurped by some animal or a slacker clown with no experience whom your rich Uncle Grandpa just met the day before he croaked seems perfectly understandable and sane.

    As for Carrot Top, I have nothing specific against him, though I’m not a huge fan of prop comedy. I suddenly remember a show CT did on Cartoon Network back in 1995 called “Carrot Top’s A.M. Mayhem”; it was basically what all CN shows were at the time: they would air the same 10 or 15 cartoon shorts that all CN shows played at the time, with Carrot Top doing little ‘comedy’ bits in between. I don’t remember much else about A.M. Mayhem, except that I do kind of like that title and the show made Cartoon Planet look sophisticated by comparison.

  • SailorSlamDunk
    Just might make the CUT
    Comments: 45

    In a cruel alternate universe somewhere out there, Carrot Top created MST3K, while Joel Hodgson starred in this movie.


    The “wacky kitchen antics with goofy background music” was the most agitating clip shown in this review. I felt my brain itching, and you only showed a few seconds of it. I don’t even want to know what had to be left out of this.

  • likalaruku
    Completely Useless Now
    Comments: 934

    That jacket reminds me of late 90s website wallpapers & the carpet at my old skating rink. Good times…..

    I thought you already did Santa With Muscles.

    I just realized that you, me, & Carrottop all have the same haircut.

    I’m not sure if this is Fred trilogy levels of annoying or Inspector Gadget 2 levels of annoying.

    He used to have really nice abs, before the steroid abuse & plastic surgery addiction.

    Isn’t the guy with the farting shirt Otho from Beetlejuice?

    True…Rashanu & Patalliro had really annoying protagonists & they still managed to be funny.

    Ah, so yet another Edison who doesn’t invent his own inventions.


    • lunabuna
      Bat Hero
      Comments: 81

      Spoony also did Santa With Muscles. Pretty sure it was Spoony.

      This movie isn’t just painful to watch, it’s painful to watch a review of. The clips just scream, so to speak, “screaming asshole protagonist.” Kind of like Freddy Got Fingered. It hurts my brain, and I’m sorry you had to sit through it, Allison. You made it amusing, though, so mad props. 🙂

  • Goldstar
    Bat Hero
    Comments: 84

    “I thought you already did Santa With Muscles.”

    She didn’t, but Brian Zane of Wrestling With Wregret did.

  • the_desert
    Bat Hero
    Comments: 93

    Allison, you have my condolence losing 95 minutes of your life watching this, plus the subsequent time it took to make a review.

    Isn’t this movie Problem Child 4?

  • happymel2
    The Fuct of Pepsiman
    Comments: 228

    He’s a cat murderer AND he gets the girl at the end? Instant dislike.

  • the_desert
    Bat Hero
    Comments: 93

    I am so sorry you sat through 95 minutes of this.

  • penpaninu
    Bat Hero
    Comments: 83

    oh dear god, I’ve actually seen this! And was NOT impressed. I like the first comment on this page; and oh don’t forget only complete douchebags will identify with the douchebag leads. I was forced to see this by a sisters exhusband and apparently he identified with Carrot Top’s character. SNICKER.

  • CyborgPrince
    Fighting Steffi Love
    Comments: 172

    God, even just by the clips I can tell this movie is just obnoxious. I can also feel the 90s just dripping from this movie. I don’t think any other decade could produce something like this. That bit with Norm MacDonald on Conan O’Brien is a classic though.

    So, Santa With Muscles won the poll, did it? Does this mean there will be a review of it come December?