Cort is back and going blind. Meanwhile, Giant Gonzales stops by to carve some wooden pelicans.
BW: Blindside
Cort is back and going blind. Meanwhile, Giant Gonzales stops by to carve some wooden pelicans.
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Pelican Man won every Emmy. Ever.
Mitch donesn’t believe in Giants, because he has seen Ghosts, aliens, and Eddie. Those things are too weird to coexist with Giants.
Cort has gone blind, but hey, now he has an excuse to always wear sunglasses.
Of course gangs hate giant pelican loving men. Pelicans are their sworn enemies.
Actually, it was refusing to shake Newmie’s hand that made Cort start going blind.
This is the first review that made me almost want to watch the full episode.
How many other characters in this show get their own songs?
Pelican Man, Pelican Man. Does whatever a Pelican can.
Catches fish – in his beak…
You need a permit to own this freak.
Look out! Here comes a Pelican Man!
Pelican Man, Pelican Man… Does whatever a Pelican can.
He loves kids – carves birds with wood…
Gangs attack him and that’s no good!
Look out! Here comes a Pelican Man!
Pelican Man, Pelican Man… Does whatever a Pelican can.
Thanks to Mitch’s – save he came out on top…
Now he owns a crappy souvenir shop.
Look out! Here comes a Pelican Man!
Here comes a Pelican Maaa-aaan!
That’s the kind of song only a stupid pelican man would sing!
Besides, you forgot the last stand.
He’ll never be seen again!
While I disagree with your statement, I’m impressed by how you say it with such conviction.
Besides, it’s implied that his story arc is concluded when he opens a crappy souvenir shop. Forget about the fact that a mentally challenged man-child will quickly run out of money and be homeless in a month when he can’t sell enough of his cheap wooden Pelican carvings to pay for rent, utilities, and enough food to feed a 7ft tall 300 lb man.
Sadly, by then the Buchanon men will have moved on to a gem smuggling mystery, a burning ship, three romances from out of nowhere, and about two thousand burgers.
All that will happen in only one week.
That’s less of a “permit” and more of a publishers clearing house order form. I can’t tell what it says along the top but it ends in a question mark, and I think there are check boxes to order magazines.
So either 1 of 2 things. Either it’s just a joke thing, or Pelican man, Hobie, and Mitch can’t read.
I like the latter option.
So, on the positive side, at least they gave the degenerate eye disease to someone they thought we’d care about rather than a random one shot character, although Cort was a horrible choice for a character to assume we’d care about. A better choice would have been Craig, Ben, or even Chief Thorpe. Or, hell, have that be the reason Slade leaves the show.
But this is Baywatch I guess…
Why is there a thing called Baywatch? Why does it exist? Why do I now feel like writing Baywatch fanfics and introducing my own characters from other genres, like a goblin who joins the Baywatch team and has to deal with anti-goblin prejudice and dumb questions from Eddie about how hard it is for a goblin to find trunks that fit him?
What is wrong with me?
You fool! You should bring in MORE insanity in this amazing fanfic. I request more fantasy elements! Mitch dates a dragon! Hobie allies himself with faires who live in Summers fake boobs, and an evil lich who is sucking Slade’s soul.
Slade has a soul? Actually, it would explain his lack of anything resembling a personality…
Yes, Slade is losing life every second. Also, the Lich is a perv, and doesn’t understand ‘Dating’, so it tries to have sex with everything. Like Slade!
And then C.J. gets it to seek counseling for its “biophilia.”
This stuff writes itself.
I totally believe that a bunch of street toughs would go after a man large enough to pick them up and toss them around like children.
Despite the fact that horses take giant dumps wherever they walk, I actually have seen horses on beaches in Washington & Oregon.
That’s why they call me John, “D”egenerative Eye Disease Cort!
OMG. I lost it at “You stupid Pelican man” but I was laugh-crying at the Pelican man song.
It… I juh… WHUUUU?!
That Pelican Man song is utterly hilarious. I seriously hope they did write it specifically for the episode. What were they thinking when they made this? XD