19 Comments

  • Knightroglycerin
    Knightroglycerin
    Robert Cop
    Comments: 188

    Thank god this is the last one. I was starting to wonder if we entered Witchcraft territory.

    I never understood these “inherited” houses. Who pays the utility bills, property taxes, or home-owners’ insurance?

    • Knightroglycerin
      Knightroglycerin
      Robert Cop
      Comments: 188

      Wow that Bulk and Skull music fit perfectly with that scene; well done!

      OMG I MISS BELIEVE IT OR NOT SO MUCH! BRAAAAAAD!!!!!

      • Kooshmeister
        Kooshmeister
        I'm THE BEST!
        Comments: 108

        Phelous has used it a lot. I think I first noticed its use in his review of the first Crocodile movie, for the two drunken fishermen (or were they poachers?).

    • Parker
      Quan Chi
      Just might make the CUT
      Comments: 55

      I’m probably putting too much thought into this, but I’d guess the estate of the deceased relative would pay the bills, probably through a lawyer until the property is properly inherited.

  • Laserface
    Laserface
    I'm THE BEST!
    Comments: 109

    “She stabs the pizza.”

    That’s something you don’t hear every day. Let alone see in a movie.

  • Alex C.
    Alex C.
    JUST GOT ACTUALLY-ED!
    Comments: 151

    The House movies are a thematic wonder to behold.

    Take the character of Roger Cobb for example. He was the main character of the first House, and returns for House 4. It’s a different actor, with a different family, with a different profession, with a different everything. And yet… His name is Roger Cobb. That’s the guy’s name for the first movie! Another example, each movie had a house in it, to varying level of importance. And, get this, all the stories had human main characters! Not a single talking rabbit in the bunch! It’s frickin’ genius, this short-lived franchise.

  • Parker
    Quan Chi
    Just might make the CUT
    Comments: 55

    Thanks a ton for doing these reviews, guys. They spurred me to add the first two House movies to my collection – I even managed to find the old limited edition Anchorbay DVD on Amazon that packages both movies with a neat making-of featurette for the first one. I might buy the third House film one of these days, if only to witness its stupidity firsthand. House IV, however…

  • SpeedyEric
    CUUUUT
    Comments: 60

    7:29- I take it that this movie hates the physically disabled.  And I agree that the movie wanted the house to be run down, because “Drr, this is a horror movie!  Harharhar!”

    12:18- OMG!  WTF?  There are stupid white people in this world?  Oh, I am so shocked about this cliche!

    13:50- Suddenly, the Power Rangers being baked into a giant pizza has become more subtle than this.

    “The most shocking shower-scene since psycho” instantly reminds me of Highlander 2’s claim that it’s “the smartest sci-fi thriller since Blade Runner.”

    The chemical corporation in this movie are about as relatable as that in The Crawlers (aka Creepers, aka Contamination .7, aka Troll 3).

    17:57- SUBTLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!

    24:10- Their names are Goldar and Baboo.

    29:38- Yeah, I also wish this movie was The Cinema Snob Movie.

  • The Phantom of Pulp
    I'm THE BEST!
    Comments: 107

    Another episode, yay!!!

    I’m always nervous when you review a film you do not enjoy because you’ve enjoyed some weird stuff. Red flag right there!

    The premise might have worked: young paralyzed , slightly odd girl moves into a haunted house with her mom after her father died and she recovers. Something that might have been super cute: but no, they botched it

    Is that old Native American the guy from that lame episode of Star Trek: Next Generation? I think it is! Wow, some people have the worst luck!!

    The opening, ending and 9:11 are really cute but I really love how concearned you are for the girl in the wheel chair. You guys are seriously the best! 🙂

    11:13 the face of someone who’s seen to much and is tired of it

    13:45 WHAT THE HEL!?!?!??!

    22:41 the smile of the sweetest evil genius you’ll meet: groovy 😉

    28:06 Phelan and Allison: making an art form out of whimsey and magic and making it unable to watch without scwirming in your seat.

    29:31 HOLY MOLY!! I was trying to figure out where I’d seen him: poor bloke, he desearved so much better!

    Great review: much more analytical then usual. Glad the house series is done since they’re getting steadily worse: if it had gotten as long as The Witchcraft series you’d have to move in there to make it go as fast a possible which drive you positivly mad (well, madder I guess 😉 ). For the sake of you sanity, I’m not sorry to see the end of the House series: but what’s going to be next? I wonder….. 🙂

    Also you might have needed to consult Mr. Linkara for some of this episode 😉

  • happymel2
    happymel2
    The Fuct of Pepsiman
    Comments: 228

     
    Why did you have the Behind the Scenes NC music in this video when you were discussing the shower scene? LOL.
     

  • Dunes
    Robert Cop
    Comments: 188

    I smell clunky rewrites

  • Kooshmeister
    Kooshmeister
    I'm THE BEST!
    Comments: 108

    Grosso is actually a real surname of Italian origin, and it means (as opposed to the American meaning of “gross”) large. Which Mr. Grosso here apparently isn’t, being visibly smaller than everyone else in his office.

  • penpaninu
    penpaninu
    Bat Hero
    Comments: 83

    pizza scene says it all….as we descend into “what the hell did we get into?” OMg this looks awesomely bad 😛

  • Mike D.
    Mike D.
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 9

    Oh my God… I saw that movie once on HBO during the early ’90s and it’s probably among the Top 5 worst movies I’ve ever seen (and I’ve seen my fair share of them)!!  Thanks for reviewing it, though.  I love your work so keep it up!

  • Prossor_Kobras
    Prossor_Kobras
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 38

    If anybody’s having trouble reconciling the two wildly different takes on Roger Cobb, you could always say that Jesse and the other characters from House 2 messed up the timeline when they went to the Old West.

    I’d say that would cover it.