Lockjaw

Phelous and Film Brain tackle the greatest film ever where DMX fights an alligator head snake. (I think there’s a few)

23 Comments

  • Doodles
    Doodles
    Old Man
    Comments: 4

    Oh My God, this cross-over was awesome! Terrible movie, but it was worth it to see Film Brain and Phelous finally tackle a movie togethe 😀

  • DXmagma
    Old Man
    Comments: 1

    for the first 2 mintues I heard DMX as “Deer mechs” and thought “This might be pretty awesome! No such luck…

  • riderpool
    riderpool
    Old Man
    Comments: 1

    wow…really wish phelous would somehow tackle i don’t know…THIS!!!!!

     

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phone_%28film%29

     

     

     

  • Dutchman
    Dutchman
    Old Man
    Comments: 4

    Though I’m not the biggest Film Brain fan, no offense just don’t follow him, but you two work great as a team.

    Awesome work, chaps.

  • Marussia
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 11

    The glue and paper part reminded me of “I’m a vegetarian by the way.”.

  • HollyChristine
    HollyChristine
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 6

    with a response like that it’s almost like Andrew Dickman wanted you to die. Is he channeling Steph now?

  • RedSarah
    RedSarah
    Fighting Steffi Love
    Comments: 171

    “You drew us to death. That sucks. You suck!” I laughed so hard. Why was the dialogue for the kids adult-sounding and the dialogue for the adults kid-sounding?

    How long was this movie, anyway? It must’ve been padded to hell with all the nothing going on.

    Was it ever explained why the snake had an alligator head? Was it because the pen had one, or because the kid/man drew it that way?

    You know what this review needed? More punching! 😀

    • Phelous
      Phelous
      Administrator
      Comments: 621

      Around 1hr20min. No it’s never really explained why, or why Alan knew to draw to the snake eating people to get it to work, not like it actually eats them though…

  • EmynStranger
    EmynStranger
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 36

    That was awesome! You guys picked the perfect kind of movie for you to review together. It looks so silly, and, as was pointed out a few times, cliche. What’s the point of even doing a movie that has nothing new or original in it at all? There must be one, since people keep doing it.

    Anyway, I really liked this review! It was so funny when you two poked fun at the tropes on each others’ shows. I have to say the part that struck me the most was the lampshade bit, I think because you were both literally and figuratively “lampshading” something. It was brilliant and I laughed about it for quite a while. 😀

  • GijinkaGlaceon
    GijinkaGlaceon
    Old Man
    Comments: 1

    … did you just lampshade lampshading (or something to that extent)? lol. Hooray for collabs!

    That was a really boring-looking movie, honestly. Loved the review though, especially all the Medium Awareness-ness. :3 And I’m totally excited for the third year anniversay.

    Yes… I did make an account just to ask if you lampshaded lampshading. Otherwise I would still be lurking… >.>

  • ZekyZek
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 20

    Funny review, Phelous. I think team-up with FB worked better then with Linkara. I’m not saying that Airzone Solution review was bad but this one was just better.
    But did Film Brain really have to pat the bed so sugestively? You know that it’s going to be cause of many fanfics, right?

  • Meangreenmother
    Meangreenmother
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 16

    That was great teamwork. Very funny.

    Wow, how uninterested can someone be in a movie with his own name in the title. DMX looked extremely bored. For the few moments he was present he still looked absent. way to go.

    I don’t know what’s more stupid as a weapon: The caot hanger in Birdemic or this stick-drawing-random cutlery- lamp. This one’s cost more effort to make? Or maybe that makes it even more pathetic.

    It’s obvious that pigsnake has way more potential than alligtorheadsnake.

    ps.: cintiq rules

  • The FanFic Critic
    The FanFic Critic
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 24

    You and the Film Brain worked great together! You guys should team up again soon.

  • StormyPopsicle
    StormyPopsicle
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 34

    this has to be the most amazing cross over yet. <3 I have to say i've never heard of Lockjaw, or DMX...but i'm not really into the whole wrestling thing. If he was trying to get his name out there he did a poor job. ugh. its like that one movie KANE did a while back.

    Is it sad that i know people with film editing majors still in school who can do much better affects then this?

    the thing i don't get is why the man who drew the picture died. You guys pointed it out but were they even reading their own script?

    I sometimes sit back and wonder if people know they are making movies this bad and just kind of sit back and roll with it? seemed like it when they hit the wife. I mean, really, I can't even drive over a pothole with out thinking i hit something how do you miss a human being?!

    • RedSarah
      RedSarah
      Fighting Steffi Love
      Comments: 171

      DMX is actually a rapper, not a wrestler. Well, as far as I know he’s never wrestled.

      I don’t think logic is a high priority when it comes to horror movies, unfortunately.

  • Razorgeist
    Razorgeist
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 35

    All that for what in essence is a an uninspired Pumpkinhead ripoff.

  • Dejablue
    Dejablue
    CUUUUT
    Comments: 65

    El oh El @ Andy Dickman at the end.

  • catocat9002
    catocat9002
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 5

    You know what I don’t like? Giving a character tons of buildup then killing them off before there’s any payoff.

  • BlueCurse60
    BlueCurse60
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 34

    Sweet, this is almost as good as the La Horde crossover! Film Brain is really funny though and you guys made this crappy snake movie at least funny to laugh at for being incompetent.

  • cRaZyJ21
    cRaZyJ21
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 19

    LAMP SHADE SHIELDORATOR! …which is a thing. For something…

    Oh damn I’d better get the feel nothing force field off my car so I can actually notice something or someone being run over by me. Like this movie. I wanna feel it’s pain for being run over!!

    I want to know how much a Lockjaw Alligator snake costs as a pet. I’ll do the world a flavor by feeding the snake all the stupid people 🙂