A dragging plot, useless characters, stupid confused Wesker, an Alice sandwich and all played in SLOW MOTION. Afterlife, you’re pitiful!
Resident Evil: Afterlife
A dragging plot, useless characters, stupid confused Wesker, an Alice sandwich and all played in SLOW MOTION. Afterlife, you’re pitiful!
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First!
Nope, I was 1st.
Actually, your are both first! How is that possible? Well that’s because… jora_is_aap is your clone! Ta-da-da-da! Now, everybody forget about this plot point! *throws amnesia dust* Wait, now it’s convenient again! Remember that plot point again!
Damn you Phelous(or not :P(glad you’re back))! But next time….
I love your acting in the key puzzle XD
Alice Clone used Psybeam! It’s super effective! The foe’s Umbrella Soldiers fainted! Wait… no, I think they’re dead.
I bet it felt really good to shoot the disk (and cover). Nothin’ like a little gunplay to let off some steam!… Please tell me I didn’t just say that…
I think this is my favorite review so far!
God I love the Resident Evil skits.
What?!?
Haha, brilliant review! Loved the beginning with the extremely elaborate Resident Evil 1 styled puzzle. Its like an egg hunt for keys! What….? What is this? I hope this isn’t Chris’ rose necktie!
And I just KNEW that there would be Prison Break jokes but I still laughed my ass off, none the less.
And of course, inserting random Barry dialogue is still amazing. “The master of sandwhiches” had me in stitches! Keep ’em coming, man!
How did these movies even have sequels? Was it really just from fans of the games that felt obligated to see it?
What IS this? An Afterlife review sandwich?! 😛
I totally agree on everything you said about the movie. I really liked the gameplay-style intro you did – I love puzzle/adventure games, but sometimes it’s like, “Seriously, game? Can’t I just bash this lock open with my steel pipe?” Also, I love that you shot the DVD and case with a real shotgun, that was fantastic and I bet it was pretty cathartic too.
This is easily one of you best eps in a while. Not saying the others were bad at all, but this one was just so great!
BTW, Phelous, did you lose some weight? Or was that a new haircut?
Ninth!
You made me happy this morning Phelous!!!
It’s scary how well you summed up the entire series with that opening bit.
Pure Genius. Thank you for this review. I had not seen it yet and now it is a definite for my monthly MST night with friends. Phelous, you are my hero.
Why do all video game hollywood films suck? Simple they are not written by fans but a bunch of money grubbing writers who only know how to make popcorn films! I bet if you and your pals shot a low budget fan film it would smoke all four of these lame “movies”! Very funny review by the way!
Thanks for showing what these films really are… The biggest P.O.S on screen in movie history.
Why Capcom gave Paul (Weak Shit) Anderson the Greenlight in the first place is beyond me, there’s no respect for the source material or its characters so who the hell are these movies made for? Obviously not the fans of the games or they would be great horror/thriller films, with Jill Sandwiches and NO ALICE!
It seems Capcom’s going to continue to rape the games aswell by referencing these god awful movies and making the games ‘mainstream’ on steroids.
Anyway Osama’s dead and hopefully the next best thing is the death of these movies so someone with talent and a brain can reboot it and adapt the original trilogy of RE games…
Oh wait no they’re making another movie and the same producers are making Silent Hill Revelations…FUCK HOLLYWOOD!
oh god why. i didnt even know there was gonna be another silent hill i was living in blissful ignorance that the first one had bombed so much that a sequel wouldnt be made. 🙁 also i read the synopsis and it sounds like silent hill 3 to a degree but i know theyll screw it up.
Great opening – loved following the video game puzzle “logic” to the end.
That was a perfect shot to the disc – wow! Good use of slow motion, too. 😉
I think you should just keep guns away from Robert – it doesn’t end well.
“Take me to the hospital.” Lol.
…the movie, sigh. Well, now I know I’ll have to watch it with my dad so he can bust a gut laughing at the plane landing on the roof scene.
The best part about this movie was wesker.
For me the begining was good and the end was good.
Only because those are the parts that had wesker in it, you can cut out all the crap in the middle.
He better be back in the next movie.
Yaay Phelous returns!
What is Alice last name? Norris?
Alice survived the first crash because there was a fire extinguisher between her and Wesker during the slow-mo.
I like the 3-D glasses on the Majini-zombie…thing.
Good review. Personally, I didn’t enjoy this movie as much as I did with the 1st and 3rd ones (That’s right, I loved the 3rd one. “He loves the third Resident Evil movie! CRUCIFY HIM!”). Although I dug the movie’s music score and at times, the action was kinda cool, it was quite underwhelming.
You look older.
That being said, it was worth the wait for this review, although I doubt what you did for the 3rd anniversary was as good as this.
Also, I am impressed that you (or your friend) owns a real shotgun. I know its a son of a bitch pain in the ass to go through all the gun registry up here. I myself have done so, and I think I also might shoot a copy of this movie with a real shotgun for my own fun.
My only complaint is a minor one that also applies to your other RE reviews: When you introduce Chris in the opening credits and he lights the cigarette, he chokes. I know you want to be a good example for the kids and smoking is bad and all that, but as a true die-hard no-holds-barred pro-smoking man (personally I don’t actually smoke, but I doubt even most smokers are as in favor of the unconditional right to smoke as I am), that bit has always annoyed me.
tl;dr: Awesome!
I already put all of my witty egg sandwiches in one comment basket on the TGWTG link so all this place gets is a callback. Enricoooooooooooooooooooooooo!
What’s with you and the number 17? You seem to use it a lot.
Anyway, another great review as always!
There’s going to be another Resident Evil movie? Noooooooo!
(Great review!)
It would be nice if a proper RE Movie was made… by someone that actually know what he is doing! and WITHOUT Alice!
I’m surprised you didn’t show the M. Bison cartoon “YES! YES!” video for that clip of the one greasy guy doing that in the plane. Too predictable/overused? Or never seen it? Anyway, yep, thanks for telling us this movie happened.
Now to wait for the remake of the original. Oh yes.
And now for a somewhat random Dr Who-related ‘your momma’ joke I stole from a dalek.
YOUR MOTHER is so PROMISCUOUS that, LIKE a TARDIS, whomever ENTERS her is SURPRISED at how BIG she is on the INSIDE.
Seriously, the RE movies worship the ground Milla slo-mo walks on. They might as well call this movie MILLA JOVOVICH: THE MOVIE (Co-starring about 20 other tossers who borrow names from Resident Evil… but that’s about it.)
Also, YUSSS! YUSSS!
I really hope they don’t make another movie…o_O
Ill tell you Barry one of the best reviews all your Resident Evil review are great but this is the best so far this and birdemic are my favorite reviews and you should do a lets play of the first Resident Evil like you did with Silent Hill
A let’s play of Resi 1 would indeed be awesome.
A resident evil 5 movie is planned for release on 09/14/2012, filming starts in october and will last to december 23rd, It will be called retribution, and guess what…. they are going to try introducing Ada Wong in the films. Also, those were Uroburos, not las plagas. Only Uroburos had that tentacles come out of their mouths thing. Great review.
So not a single one of these movies had Barry in them. Laaaame!
Well was this the final RE movie? I don’t think Capcom cares about this franchise as much as they used to. Otherwise they would have said “nope” after the first film.
Still cracks me up when Wesker knocks Chris and Claire into the conveniently placed tubes so that they are now out of the way and Alice shows up and saves them.
Aw cmon! No M. Bison screaming “YESS!! YESS!!” after jerkface character flew off in the plane? Great review as always, though.
No M. Bison screaming “YESS!! YESS!!” after jerkface character flew off in the plane?
I’ll fix that!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3ALwKeSEYs
Holy Crap! 20:05 Chris actually did something, and Alice let him get away with it!
and now in retribution they destory the last two great charictures in the games.Leon and Ada (sigh i need a Jill sandwich
So With the new movie coming out, how excited are you that Barry Burton in all his glory will final aid Alice in fighting Umbrella and Chairman Wesker?
P.S. Cracked.com has an article on the 6 reasons the RE movies are better than the games. Checked it out. And then loss your mind like me everyone.
* As I have said in the rant review (Which was great by the way) the Plagas Zombies and Virus Zombies could not act like they are all the same (The Virus Zombies would try and possibly eat anything that doesn’t smell and/or moves like em [In some books they portray these zombies have a sixth sense when they can’t see or smell though in some games majorly heighten hearing is noticed]).
* Wesker is not infected with the T-Virus but a greatly modified Tyrant Virus which actually comes into affect after his first death (Explained in the book of the first game that he was killed by the infected monkey things and is saved by the Tyrant that was released to a degree [It deposited him a good distance away from the mansion in a safe location {Not much more is explained about that}]). Sure he infects himself with the plagas parasite in 5 but only after enhancing himself further with a weaker and slightly further modified form of the V-Virus (Code Veronica).
you’re pitiful! stupid surprised wesker. go luthor go! i still believe in your pulling planes and surviving collapsing tunnels with zombies. the only instance i EVER heard of coins working as shotgun ammon was using quarters (still in shell casings with gunpowder charges) in i believe the 10 guage. i far as i can tell it works as buckshot and only effective at close range, (not exploding executioner heads or worse in the next movie). its not armor piercing but does leave a mess so take does pennies and nickels and dimes alice and just throw them at the zombies as the balance is off so no trjectory or muzzle speed. PHYSICS!!!!! of course i could be wrong so forget about it!
Paul W. S. Anderson has made only shitty movies… I think the only movie which is at least decent is “Event Horizon” (mind you that movie could have been much better, but I guess Anderson managed NOT to screw it up too much).
I know some people like Mortalo Kombat as well.. I do not however… The cutscenes the “MK: Shaolin Monks” game make for a much better MK movie!