The first direct-to-download film, how surprising it has no redeeming qualities.


  • PopeMichael
    Old Man
    Comments: 1

    I really liked this review. I always take bets with the wife how you’ll die in each video. She’s WAY better at guessing it than I am, surprisingly!

    By the way, have you lost weight?

  • redmangc
    Old Man
    Comments: 4

    Ohhhh Faced gotta know Phelous what you think of eli’s new movie the Last Excersism if you’ve seen it

  • The FanFic Critic
    The FanFic Critic
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 24

    lol! Great review, as always! That was hilarious when you knocked the camera over!

  • RedSarah
    Fighting Steffi Love
    Comments: 171

    Very funny as always – my favorite part was the end of Clue. 🙂

    A few times the movie clips went small for some reason – a blip problem?

    • Phelous
      Comments: 625

      No it’s just sometimes when these first go up and I haven’t watched over them to fix some little glitches in them like that but I always do shortly after.

  • Shawn DC
    Shawn DC
    Comments: 11

    I really think I’ve seen this before. It looks so familar, yet I don’t remember the majority of it.

    Maybe I watched it and the brain cells destroyed themselves in non-logical ways.

    Great review. I’d say more but I’d rather randomly walk away with my cell phone now.

  • PickPikmin
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 26

    Once again, a funny, entertaining review! Next week: Incubus 2: The Continuation of the Cliffhanger.

    Comments: 14

    this movie made me die inside…
    just a little bit..
    thanks for a return of total wtforey
    but with the total lack of logic that i’ve always enjoyed in the movies you review
    tara reid = wtforey……..your one star has a new name(eli roth = minus one :P)

  • ggbhtg
    Comments: 68

    Showtime forced me to watch this anti-Spock “movie”! Encore and FearNET keep uploading movies you guys at Channel Awesome have reviewed to their On Demand services…after they’ve been reviewed. Coincedence or CONSPIRACY? Anyway, you can’t stall with the hilarious Pulse reviews forever! We ALL know you’ll have to review the House of the Dead movies!

  • Markseth
    Comments: 10

    You’re one of the best reviewers on the internet, Phelous, but you really dropped the ball on this one.  The scene where whiny girl suddenly walks away with her phone wasn’t in the original “script.”  The actress actually walked off the set when she suddenly realized what a terrible movie she was in and used her phone to call both the police and her lawyer.  Not knowing what else to do, the director decided to just edit it into the movie’s “plot.”  The scene at the end where she drives up with the police was also unscripted.  She was glad Tara Reid was okay, because she had no idea what kind of debilitating effect participating in this movie would have on Reid’s already questionable mental faculties (you can see Reid is somewhat dumbfounded and in shock near the end–well, actually throughout the whole movie…this also wasn’t in the script).  The police arrested Reid because they just naturally assumed she (being who she is) was responsible for this tragedy of “film”-making.  The other actress decided not speak up, because she realized that Reid would be safer in prison, and her incarceration would also decrease the probablity of a sequel being made.  All of this was conveniently edited into the movie. 

    Ultimately, Reid was charged with “vile and despicable crimes against humanity,” but ended up being released due to being deemed mentally unfit to stand trial. 

    I’m extremely surprised and disappointed that you failed to mention these facts, Phelous.  I still like you, but next time please do a little more research. 

    By the way, the reason I know all this is because… *eyes turn white*

  • Sticky
    Old Man
    Comments: 2

    Coherent is the only frequency they can’t penetrate.

  • octo7
    Just might make the CUT
    Comments: 42

    I genuinely lol’d at “never talk again”

  • ninjasmoke97
    Old Man
    Comments: 4

    Great review but if your doing alternate titles being Pulse here then you missed one. A 2003 movie named Octane. I’m sure it sucks just like the rest.