Resident Evil: Retribution Rant

I predicted this would happen.

I love the films. I know this will get me a lot of hate and I am sorry

Oh! A new Resident Evil movie and Phelous is complaining about it!  THAT's original. :P Anyway, I've come to like these movies and I've got them all on blu-ray, got them cheap though.  Once you've stared into the gaping anus that are the Transformers movies, you can fear no other movie. 

these movies are fucking horrible!!! after life is one of the worst movies i have ever seen and i love milla but her tallent is wasted in these movies because not one person with a brain cell in their head will hire her for a movie... good job fuckface anderson you have single handedly destroyed you wifes career, also every time the commercial for this movie came on i screamed FUCKING STUPID!!! ran ustairs and puched a pillow for an hour.;.. WHY? how can you enjoy these? i cannot get to pissed considering capcom tried to butcher their franchise with 5 but i will be pissed if 6 sucks... but seriously these are getting just terrible!!!

Did Lupa move to Canada or did Phealous build a replica of his house in the USA?

Not surprised that HolyWood rapes Resident Evil yet again. Oh well at least Resident Evil 6 is coming out. You gonna get it and if so are you getting the Archive Edition or Anthology Edtion? Me well since I haven't played 4, Verionica, or Gold Editon of 5 I'll most likely get that one... that and I don't own a PS3, so it's either the regular version or the Archive Edtion. Plus it comes with the only good Resident Evil movie Degeneration for only $80 american which isn't a bad deal.

You know, as shit as these movies are, at least they remember Jill and Claire (or their bastardized versions of them) exist. Are they gonna even appear in RE6 as anything more than a cameo?

Then again, that would probably cut into the screen time of a certain ape-faced steroid junkie, so I suppose it's understandable.

I don't like these movies. Like you said, they take the names, faces and monsters from RE and butcher them to make their own story. People who just like nonstop action keep going to see them, and RE fans keep going to them to denounce them. PWS Anderson keeps making these average action movies because they get a box office bump from his haters. But I'm gonna put that aside and just talk about this movie's failings. Not the series' failing, just this one.

In the first movie, the Red Queen was trying to lock down the facility to PREVENT the virus from escaping and destroying humanity. Now she's trying to destroy humanity. Why?

In the last movie, I thought Wesker was blown up in a helicopter. I guess he wasn't. But didn't he want to eat Alice to stabilize his DNA? I thought in this movie that he wanted to free Alice just so he could have some delicious Alice Ribs. But he didn't. Did he find an Alice clone between movies and have some Alice Rump Roast?

And why did Ripley think that Newt was still alive? Opps I mean Alice and the def girl. Why didn't she give up when she found the locater watch, err backpack? It's a good thing Alice didn't, because she found Newt in some sort of cocoon the monster put her in and pulled her out of it.

Just to help you out, you said that they had zombies that fired guns. There's a scene in Moscow where Leon and crew are being attacked by them. Leon or someone says, "Plagas." So those weren't zombies, they were people like what Michelle Rodriguez was at the end.(I don't care how poorly written that last sentece was) This pisses all over the games again, but it raises questions in the movie's continuity. If Umbrella can make setient soldiers with the plagas, why are they selling the T-Virus around the world? Why didn't they just use an army plagas clones to take over the world? Any good corporation should know that taking over the world=profit.

I think I'm done ranting. No wait, I've still got some thoughts(beer) in me. They made a character named Barry Burton. He had the red vest, the beard, and also a sweet magnum that you didn't mention. They also had a kid, and Barry's thing in the first game was that he was working with Umbrella to protect his family. So why isn't the def girl a clone of Barry's kid? It would have added depth. Alice was being all motherly then here comes her "real" father. I think that would have made a better movie but it would have subtracted from the all powerful and amazing Alice. Oops I said I wasn't going to compare them to the games. Well actually I said I was going to put the games aside. I guess I just un-asided it. Complaining about these movies is fun.

Hey, Phelous. As of Moscow scene, where car number is shown. In Russia we have cyrillic letter on car number not latin. So it's just another mistake for this "glorious" movie.