13 Comments

  • Spike
    Spike
    Leader of the Decepticons
    Comments: 212

    YES!!! Hahaha, so happy to finally see this goddamn series finished 😀

    Also–FUCKING CLONES AGAIN. How is that a twist at this point? Not only is “This Alice which we’ve (probably) been following since the beginning was a clone of this old Alice the whole time”  complete bullshit from a continuity nightmare perspective (big shock), but it’s a damned stupid thing to try to surprise us with when we’ve had so many goddamned clones in this series already.

    Part of me is glad we at least have this movie since the last one barely gave us anything to work with and would’ve been a horrendous way of ending the saga of fail, but this movie? It’s hilarious, and it’s like three different movies crammed into each other. I guess this is to make up for the fact the last one barely felt like half a movie, despite its length.

    Thank you for this series of reviews, Phelous. You truly do turn these movies into worthwhile things with your hilarious commentary.

  • Knightroglycerin
    Knightroglycerin
    Robert Cop
    Comments: 189

    I really wish you could sit down with Paul Anderson and lecture him about how shit these movies are.

    • Spike
      Spike
      Leader of the Decepticons
      Comments: 212

      I somewhat agree, but more I’d just want to ask him why the hell his nonsensical non-continuations of plots are so damned confusing and inconsistent. They make no sense next to each other and just come off like he had extreme ADHD.

  • Quan Chi
    Quan Chi
    Just might make the CUT
    Comments: 50

    Chris Redfield: “Is this…?”

    Paul W. S. Anderson: “That’s right. This is the ultimate life-form. Alice!”

    Chris Redfield: “Hahahahaha.”

    Paul W. S. Anderson: “Chris?”

    Chris Redfield: “Hahahahaha.”

    Paul W. S. Anderson: “Stop it!”

    Chris Redfield: “Anderson, you’re pitiful. This is your savior? You say this failure, is your savior?”

  • Laserface
    Laserface
    I'm THE BEST!
    Comments: 103

    This movie series is an absolute fucking joke.

    You know how people would say “you’ll never get anywhere in life making nonsensical Mary-Sue fanfics”? Well Paul W. S. Anderson sure as hell did. He just had to throw enough money at it and make it look pretty.

    How do people always get film adaptations of video games so terribly wrong? Oh yeah, they only use the name to sucker people in then bombard them with completely different shit. We don’t care, we just wanted your money and now we got it. Fuck off back home, suckers.

    Gotta fuck it up. That’s how you make it good. “But you have the source material right there to work off of!” Doesn’t matter, fuck it up.

    • Knightroglycerin
      Knightroglycerin
      Robert Cop
      Comments: 189

      I wonder if the people who decide to make a video game movie either think they can make the source material better, or they just want their own story told and using this opportunity is the best way to do it.

      • Jon Protagonist
        Jon Protagonist
        Fighting Steffi Love
        Comments: 177

        At this point Paul WS Anderson and sexy movie star wifey could probably pitch or finance their own movie.

        Unfortunately, WS Anderson is a hack and just makes these to make money and employ his family apparently. He probably just doesn’t care about the source material, but it gives him an excuse to make a flashy, FX driven series of movie theater seat fillers that males 14-34 will go and see.

  • Aethelred
    Aethelred
    Just might make the CUT
    Comments: 56

    That memory BS at the end is like some horrible inverted Blade Runner. How hard is it to keep track of a movie series that you yourself wrote and directed? Especially when you have studio backing?

  • Troggyman
    Troggyman
    Bat Hero
    Comments: 86

    “He (Paul W.S. Anderson) is really good at directing movies called Event Horizon.”

    -Brad Jones

     

    Oh, do I agree.

  • Marvelfan211
    Marvelfan211
    I'm THE BEST!
    Comments: 101

    Phelous, thank you for your service. Not gonna lie, I shed a tear when you put down that sandwich.

     

    #sad-which

  • snorgatch
    snorgatch
    JUST GOT ACTUALLY-ED!
    Comments: 140

    Goddamn, the dialogue in this movie is nothing but exposition! The only time anyone ever opens their mouth is to explain something, and nothing they say makes any fucking sense! There’s not one single moment of real human emotion or reflection or character development. It’s just explain-action-explain-action-explain-action-explain. Who does this crap appeal to?