34 Comments

  • Knightroglycerin
    Knightroglycerin
    Robert Cop
    Comments: 189

    Cam Clarke, you have such a sexy voice, don’t ruin it by picking shitty roles!

    Didn’t have a song about Cincinnati, therefore this version is inferior.

    The ball in football is a foot long.

  • Aka Guymelef
    Aka Guymelef
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 14

    Thanks Phelan for the video. I really needed that to cheer me up.

  • Alex C.
    Alex C.
    JUST GOT ACTUALLY-ED!
    Comments: 152

    +1 for Bat Hero

    -1 for not having Brad Jones as Bat Hero in a dress

    I’ve been spoiled. 😉

  • Laserface
    Laserface
    Bat Hero
    Comments: 97

    Wow. You weren’t joking. This is the absolute worst thing these people have done.

    It’s just “throw things in and see what sticks”, like a Dingo Pictures movie but with slightly better animation. What was there to learn from this? Everything’s just so paper thin. That’s all this is, a “Stuff Happens” movie. What a fucking disgrace.

  • Aethelred
    Aethelred
    Just might make the CUT
    Comments: 48

    The cousin shipping was strong with this one.

  • OldMan
    OldMan
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 15

    At last, a Christmas movie that stirred my soul!!!

    I’m glad you loved it, as I assume you did!

    HHHHEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • snorgatch
    snorgatch
    JUST GOT ACTUALLY-ED!
    Comments: 140

    I would have assumed this movie was ripping off “A Night In The Museum” if I didn’t know it had been made six years earlier. Lord, Jessie is a whiny, entitled little douchebag! There’s no better way to make a character likable than having them wail: “Nobody cares about meeeeeeeeeee!” But we’re apparently supposed to feel sorry for him because he has a workaholic, emotionally distant father. And what the hell is with the sexpot Santa’s elf girl?

  • likalaruku
    likalaruku
    Completely Useless Now
    Comments: 744

    Who thought it was a good idea to slap a Ninja Turtle voice on a kid who looks like he hasn’t even hit puberty yet? There’s not a kid in this movie who looks like they’re supposed to be older than 11. Hell, the adult soldier who showed up when they left the toy store looks about 17.

    Should have been Super Fun Guy, then it could have been a tie-in to Scorpion.

    I want that Cowabunga keychain.

    Is Bat Hero really the worst of the worst? It could have been Baltard.

    • rodro
      rodro
      Just might make the CUT
      Comments: 44

      But which Baltard, though? He must have over a dozen by now, and no one likes any of them.

      • likalaruku
        likalaruku
        Completely Useless Now
        Comments: 744

        The Baltard Army would have made a great 80s children’s cartoon. So would Cheat Commandos.

        • Maleimar
          Maleimar
          NewbieDotCom.Com
          Comments: 12

          Would love to see Blue Laser vs Gunhaver on TV. But only if Crack Stuntman’s the voice actor.

          Hm, you look like you could use a nice bowl of cereals for breakfast. You want some Blue Laser Blasts? (now with a free chainsaw car inside)

          *munches a bowl of Sugar Rittled Gunshots in a crowded mall*

  • TimTE01
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 38

    Bat-Hero has no eye-black?  This Review gets a -10/10.

    …just kidding.

    Oh and I can top the creepiness of Oversexualized Elf Toy….

    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LnmbELVbXNM/UWjYUPfDuGI/AAAAAAAAa2s/EbwGqNXphDU/s1600/MichelStrogoff.PNG

  • Occam
    Occam
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 31

    Er, by the way, gridiron football was actually named that by the British, you know. It was so called because it was played on foot, as opposed to their then-current favorite pastime, polo, which is played on horseback.

  • Knightroglycerin
    Knightroglycerin
    Robert Cop
    Comments: 189

    Just noticed something, I’m pretty sure the leaf is actually the feather that blue Pocahontas uses.

  • Occam
    Occam
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 31

    Also? That elf chick toy looks a lot like Paul Dini’s Jingle Belle…

  • Spike
    Spike
    Robert Cop
    Comments: 197

    Well now, that’s just…. bizarre. I mean, these guys have done some weird, weird films before like the snowman one, but this just makes absolutely no sense. At least most of the nonsensical crap from that film came from the fact it was a story being told by a little kid, and it was all in their imaginations to some extent (okay, weird stuff happened in their ‘real’ world too, but not most of it) so you could understand confusing plot holes. This, though? WOW, there’s a lot of stuff they really didn’t think through, and some implications or outright horrid events that’re baffling why they thought it was a good idea. It’s like someone DARED the makers of this film to make the most ridiculous and nonsensical animated movie with inappropriate scenes that they could!

    Great review though, it was a lot of fun seeing the return of those good ol’ GoodTimes. I’m surprised there was no Old Man cameo in this one (not complaining, I like that you’re not dragging that old meme out too often now), unless there was and I just missed it somehow…

  • Silverstar
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 34

    ‘He-Dude’ was supposed to be a spoof of He-Man, but he looked more like a male stripper. And what does it say about this special when that was the least questionable thing in it?

  • WillK
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 12

    I know who made the toy store: BUMSTOCK!

  • Goldstar
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 23

    “Toby Fair”, I think that the girl (can’t recall her name right now) was initially supposed to be Jessie’s love interest, but the producers made them cousins at the last minute because some people might have found their young love inappropriate, although that doesn’t make a lot of sense when your main character (Jessie) is a 13 year old with the voice of a 30 year old.

    • Brother_Malachai
      Scene Interrupting Comment!
      Comments: 274

      Even then, people can hold hands and tickle each other and not be lovers.  I think phelous overreacted a tad on that.  Even then, one of his naysayers on youtube alas acted even worse.   But then again, I’ve had my bad moments on the internet.  I’m not perfect.  That’s life I guess.  :-/

  • Marvelfan211
    Marvelfan211
    Bat Hero
    Comments: 97

    Phelous as Bat-Hero made my Christmas

  • Brother_Malachai
    Scene Interrupting Comment!
    Comments: 274

    Sorry for all the posts, but could someone take a screenshot of 17:24 for me please.  I’d like to use that scene of those two as a gag.  Especially since they aren’t an ideal fit for the “Christian” Goodtimes Films.  😛

  • OrangeRider
    OrangeRider
    Thomas Megazord
    Comments: 307

    3:11 Hello, Kratos Aurion. Where’s your son Lloyd Irving?

    8:45 A wild Pikachu appeared!

    10:05 Don’t tell me that Timmy Turner’s dad from the Fairly OddParents is in this movie!

    11:51 More like the result of putting Fran Fine (from The Nanny), Sailor Moon, Barbie, and a Christmas elf into a blender.

    12:05 Is it just me or is that Blue Pocahontas doll a racist Native American stereotype?

    12:23 That was a weird dance.

    14:27 Top 10 Saddest Anime Deaths

    16:49 “CHOCOLATE!”

     

     

     

     

  • the_desert
    the_desert
    Bat Hero
    Comments: 82

    I saw a Bat Hero costume before Halloween. It was the Adam West style and instead of the bat logo it said “Bat Hero”. Unfortunately it was only in child size.

  • Maleimar
    Maleimar
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 12

    Hmmm, Jesse’s whiny voice sounds familiar… oh hey! It’s Ryudo from Grandia 2. Is there no option to replace the whiny jesse-brat with someone less whiny? Melfice maybe? The guy was a prick too but at least he wasn’t as whiny.

    …well, until Ryudo shoved his sword up his arse.

    Erm… this might be a poor choice of words after all this incest-ish inklings. *shudder* *jibblies*

  • OrangeRider
    OrangeRider
    Thomas Megazord
    Comments: 307

    I would like shrimp on the Barbie please. 🙂 <)