45 Comments

  • BJamesBambiMan
    BJamesBambiMan
    Old Man
    Comments: 4

    Either the people at Dingo have something wrong in their head if they think humorous murder is OK….or they’re just too drunk on the same beer Wabuu apparently swigged down in order to make love to that random Aristocat. MY GOD!! Though really, the Balto one is easily the most competent “film” they’ve made even with the random dog death towards the end of that one.

  • Dmitry Kurushin
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 19

    I was waiting for this review ever since you discovered Lion and the King. It was so worth it!
    Wanna hear a story? I actually watched this trash as a kid. Well, the Russian bootleg version anyway. Dad bought the DVD because it had a beautiful artwork on it, which actually looked a lot like the Disney one. I can’t find the picture anywhere, so they probably stopped using it to avoid the lawsuits. I still remember the moment when the “animation” started and our parents had the “what have we done” look on their faces. I guess they felt so guilty, that a week later we all watched Blade Runner.

    And you know what is really sad? The actors in the Russian bootleg sounded semi professional. Or at least like they give a damn about their roles. Why?! Was that their first major work on… anything? Did they actually hoped this would help their careers? Well, I couldn’t find any names and I haven’t heard those voices in anything else, so we could guess how that turned out. It’s actually depressing. I hope they’ll find your review and have a good laugh at least.
    Anyway, sorry for getting heavy and all that. Thanks for the review, Phelous. Thank you for avenging the childhood of many unfortunate children across the globe.

    • Brother_Malachai
      I'm on a post!
      Comments: 245

      Well, at least you got to see Blade Runner, right?

    • Leech
      CUUUUT
      Comments: 65

      Ow, that’s a sad story. Except for the Blade Runner part at the end. Did you and your family actually watch this Dingo abomination all the way through to the end, though?

      • Dmitry Kurushin
        NewbieDotCom.Com
        Comments: 19

        Yup, although the bootleg was shorter, in better quality, and without random laughter. Now that I’m thinking about it, does Russian version even counts as a bootleg, if it’s superior? Well, it still was trash and a horrible way to spend the evening. On the bright side, it became a hilarious entertainment for our guests when I got older. Maybe Dingo should have chosen this path all along. Like the Asylum of animation. I mean officially, without pretending that their “movies” are for children.

        • Brother_Malachai
          I'm on a post!
          Comments: 245

          Reminds me of the US Re-Dub of Samurai Pizza Cats.  It was actually considered better by many than the original because it was funny.  😛

    • likalaruku
      likalaruku
      Completely Useless Now
      Comments: 721

      It’s probably like how you’ll never hear the people who did the english dubb for the Chaos Wars game in anything else; because a guy took it home & has his completely inexperienced friends & family work on it to save money.

       

       

      • OrangeRider
        OrangeRider
        I'm on a post!
        Comments: 248

        Have you ever heard of the English voice acting in the Klonoa Wii remake and Puyo Puyo Fever by any chance? I’ve heard some people think that they’re nearly as bad as the voice acting in Chaos Wars.

  • joliet_jane
    joliet_jane
    Just might make the CUT
    Comments: 41

    Say Phelous, from a video graphics / production perspective, how do you think Dingo made animations? I dabble in Flash, so I know animation is hard to do well (to be fairrrr), but that only makes Dingo’s work even more baffling.

    YOU really actually have made Flash animations that look and sound either as good or better than Dingo’s garbage. So I guess Dingo used something older and less advanced. An Amiga? Quantel Paintbox? It had to be a computer, right?

    But even early South Park did better with construction paper in front of a camera, able to depict clear and logical shots and actions, so there’s still no excuse!

     

  • OrangeRider
    OrangeRider
    I'm on a post!
    Comments: 248

    Apparently, you showed http://www.eastwestdvds.de, a German website who sells import Asian movies. They have nothing to do with the East West that distributed Dingo Pictures DVD’s in English.

  • Knightroglycerin
    Knightroglycerin
    Fighting Steffi Love
    Comments: 167

    This is their most boring animation yet–shame.

  • OrangeRider
    OrangeRider
    I'm on a post!
    Comments: 248

    It is pretty weird that Dingo made a movie based in the state I live in (Virginia).

    • Brother_Malachai
      I'm on a post!
      Comments: 245

      Well, this event had a big event on world history in general.  So, I’d say no.  😛  Plus, those deserts you have in Virginia are a real roaster man!   Ouch!

    • snorgatch
      snorgatch
      Bat Hero
      Comments: 94

      Yes, Virginia, a state famous for its cacti.

      • OrangeRider
        OrangeRider
        I'm on a post!
        Comments: 248

        Apparently, Dingo Pictures forgot to do research on Virginia. 🙁

        • Isolder74
          A Real Turtles Fighter
          Comments: 28

          Don’t you know all of America is a western ghost town!

          • snorgatch
            snorgatch
            Bat Hero
            Comments: 94

            The Jamestown colonists WISHED they had a town that good! Then maybe 2/3rds of them wouldn’t have died!

          • OrangeRider
            OrangeRider
            I'm on a post!
            Comments: 248

            I actually went on a field trip to Jamestown in either the 3rd, 4th, or 5th grade. It’s a well known tourist spot in Virginia but I don’t remember seeing one cactus there. Maybe, Dingo Pictures confused Eastern VA for the Wild West? Or is this movie like The Magic Voyage where it was meant to be not taken very seriously?

  • Brother_Malachai
    I'm on a post!
    Comments: 245

    “Just got Wabuued” should be a title on the comments section of your website, Phelous. XD

  • likalaruku
    likalaruku
    Completely Useless Now
    Comments: 721

    Now that’s a quality VHS-to-DVD transfer they made there. Totally worth the $1. It’s to watch a VHS on a widescreen HD TV.

    Ahh, Dingo voice casts. It’s a lot like watching “Trouble Life for Caillou,” which is done entirely in Microsoft voices.

    An American Tail: Poverty will be over now….forever.

    The “little boy” on the ship looks like a  fucked-up Betty Boop.

    Dingo Pictures is one epic lolcow. Too bad they’re not still around.

    • Lucy May
      NewbieDotCom.Com
      Comments: 5

      Not only are they still around, but they want to produce an animated film for a special topic — For You.

      • OrangeRider
        OrangeRider
        I'm on a post!
        Comments: 248

        Also, they apparently have a contact section on their website.

      • Phelous
        Phelous
        Administrator
        Comments: 588

        I’ve tried it, haven’t heard anything back, heh.

        • Leech
          CUUUUT
          Comments: 65

          Guess they no longer respond to Emails. I wrote Simone Greiss an Email vie the adress provided on her website, asking her about Dingo. While I did not get a response, I must assume she has at least read my message, because she rephrased the bit about Dingo Pictures on her references page shortly after. Simone Greiss is also the only one of the Dingo regulars I could find a lot of information on. Most of the people listed in the Pocahontas credits have either completely disappeared or may not have existed in the first place. I did find some info on the core Dingo people.
          Up until fairly recently, Armin “Wabuu” Drogat was an actor at the same obscure basement theatre where Simone Greiss works as an actress and production designer.
          About Ludwig Ickert I only know that he turned 70 this year, and that he plays guitar. I have no idea where the information about him being Simone Greiss’ husband comes from, because I haven’t been able to find any info backing that up.
          Finally, Roswhita Haas. She’s the most interesting of the bunch, in my opinion. She apparently worked for another amateur theatre company in Frankfurt up until 2008, but her forays into literature are far more interesting. She’s not only attempted to cash in on Disney movies by helping produce ripoff-movies, she’s also written ripoff books! Here’s a link to her Mulan ripoff book: https://www.amazon.de/Mulan-Roswitha-Haas/dp/3897554720/ref=sr_1_6?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1474309944&sr=1-6 Among her other books are (to the surprise of no one) Lion and the King and Dinosaur Adventure. She also wrote a book for preschoolers to help them learn how to read that is apparently littered with spelling mistakes, according to the reviews on Amazon.
          (Also, I’m still trying to figure out how to set an Avatar for your website. My Gravatar avatar is not recognised by your comment section, it seems, and setting an Author Image doesn’t help either, because it disappears as soon as I click “Update profile”. Does anyone know what I’m doing wrong?)

      • the_desert
        the_desert
        Just might make the CUT
        Comments: 57

        A special topic for me? I hope Dingo makes a (barely) animated Schindler’s List!

  • Spike
    Spike
    Fighting Steffi Love
    Comments: 177

    I truly cannot understand what Dingo Pictures thought would happen with these films.
    The big question is, what possible money could they ever have made? I get that these are all quick and cheap shitty cash-ins that nobody ever even pretended to have passion for in the least, but really, were they expecting to be any kind of success monetarily whatsoever?

  • Marvelfan211
    Marvelfan211
    Bat Hero
    Comments: 88

    That Old Bush will haunt my nightmares for a long time.

    Also, Wabuu is the new Old Man. When will he start reading CreepyPastas? I’d love to see him to a guest-reading. I bet he and Old Man could have quite the rapport.

  • OldMan
    OldMan
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 13

    Yet another amazing Dingo movie! Amazing to learn that before the white man came along, the animals in North America could talk!!!

    HHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • wakeangel2001
    Old Man
    Comments: 3

    I’m pretty sure native americans made their jewelry out of copper, they barely had any gold.  Then again I’m pretty sure John Smith’s mission wasn’t just about mining for gold.

    • snorgatch
      snorgatch
      Bat Hero
      Comments: 94

      No, Smith took control of the colony after the disastrous first winter of 1601-02, during which many of the colonists died due to inadequate food and shelter because they’d been busy looking for gold when they should have been growing crops and building better houses. Realizing there was a very real possibility that the colony would fail and they might all die, Smith got things organized and put everyone to work doing what needed to be done to save the colony and their lives. If anyone refused to work on improving the colony, Smith said: “He who does not work does not eat.”

  • lunabuna
    Just might make the CUT
    Comments: 59

    Dear frickin’ god, Phelous, I cracked up so bad throughout this review… XD XD

    How someone at Dingo Pictures thinks characters rofl’ing at mild insults is amusing is beyond me. And they don’t just laugh, they are flat on their asses laughing, too! Sheesh.

  • Dust
    CUUUUT
    Comments: 74

    Oh Dingo, you even failed to take out some German dialogue on the English dub… or Pocahontas was asking for Dead Meat to get shot “nein” times.

  • Dragon_Nexus
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 27

    Fun fact, Pocahontas actually translates to something more like “Little whore.” She was shamed for sleeping with the white men and seen as something of a traitor to her people. Pocahontas wasn’t her real name, it was a…nickname? Would you call an insult like that a nickname?

    • the_desert
      the_desert
      Just might make the CUT
      Comments: 57

      In the book 1491 by Charles C. Mann, he also corroborates her name translated to something like “slut” or “little whore”. John Smith was noted to embellish his accounts of the New World and he never married Pocahontas. She married another explorer named John Rolfe but history has merged the two men into one because it makes a better story and they were both named John. Also Pocahontas was probably 12 or 13 years old.

    • snorgatch
      snorgatch
      Bat Hero
      Comments: 94

      Powhatan Indians had several names, used different names with different people, and sometimes changed names on important occasions. She was also called Matoaka and Amonute. According to colonist William Strachley, who actually lived in Jamestown, Pocahontas meant “little wanton” or “playful one,” and was a childhood nickname that probably referred to her frolicsome nature. 

  • Dmitry Kurushin
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 19

    You know, the old guy who killed Dead Meat kinda looks like Gandalf. And the little boy with him looked more like Frodo than Aladdin. I understand that this is a stretch, but is it possible that Dingo were planning to make their Lord of the Rings or Hobbit? Because that would have been amasing! Just imagine – horrible monstrosities fighting against the orcs, both sides forever stuck in Mental Combat.

    • Anno Nimus
      Anno Nimus
      Just might make the CUT
      Comments: 40

      It seems unlikely. I’m pretty sure Tolkien’s estate still holds the rights to his stories, and there’s no way they’d license those rights to Dingo. Of course, this isn’t to say those character designs weren’t lifted from some other thing they did that had wizards and little people in it…

  • SailorSlamDunk
    SailorSlamDunk
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 29

    For a 52-minute movie, the ending sure seems…abrupt. I legitimately wondered if you were going to fake us out and make this a two-part review, because as we neared the end, nothing really seemed to be reaching a resolution. And then, suddenly, it was all over.

    At least Wabuu was happy?

  • Caelbain
    Old Man
    Comments: 4

    Actually, even in the transition text that they translated, they missspelled the text in their home language, writting “Haten” instead of “Hafen”, so yeah, that’s even more incompetence stacked on.