13 Comments

  • Alex C.
    Alex C.
    JUST GOT ACTUALLY-ED!
    Comments: 152

    God bless me. For some reason I decided to check on Phelous’ site for the second time today.. What did I find? ANOTHER BAYWATCHING. The ghost of Kelly Slater (not dead) must be watching over me.

  • thisseatofmars
    CUUUUT
    Comments: 62

    Ah, Baywatching. It’s been too long.

    Seriously.

    But who am I to complain about free entertainment? Nobody. So, I’ll shut up and turn off the ad-block. I switch it off for Lupa, Phelous, and that guy on youtube who drinks entire bottles of water in one go.

    Seriously: great as always, Ali-Lupa.

    By the way, I read this article and thought of you. It’s worth reading, trust me (and I’m a credible guy:)

    https://read.atavist.com/sunk

  • Knightroglycerin
    Knightroglycerin
    Robert Cop
    Comments: 189

    OH MY GOD IT’S BO AND HOPE!

  • Spike
    Spike
    Robert Cop
    Comments: 197

    Good god, the utterly ridiculous product placement is so insane, it gives POKÈMON’s “Gotta catch ’em all” line sound positively goddamn subtle, and it’s hilarious ahaha X’D

    And naming the entire two-parter TENTACLES, meanwhile the actual tentacles not only have nothing whatsoever to do with the octopus that barely appeared… jeez what the hell was up with this show?!

    I love this review series. Easily the funniest thing on the site.

  • Spike
    Spike
    Robert Cop
    Comments: 197

    I love this review series. Easily the funniest thing on the site.

    Good god, the utterly ridiculous product placement is so insane, it gives POKÈMON’s “Gotta catch ’em all” line sound positively goddamn subtle, and it’s hilarious ahaha X’D
    And naming the entire two-parter TENTACLES, meanwhile the actual tentacles not only have nothing whatsoever to do with the octopus that barely appeared… jeez what the hell was up with this show?!

  • thisseatofmars
    CUUUUT
    Comments: 62

    By the way… can we really criticize Mitch for punching that woman in this episode? I know Mitch is “not above many things, like punching a woman,” but, in fairness, she did kind of… well, you know… kidnap him and… hold him at gunpoint… and they were going to get away… probably to commit more crimes and/or kill people…

    Eh, I’ll just quote Chris Rock here: Ain’t Nobody Above an Ass-whoopin’!

  • Nobody_700
    Nobody_700
    I'm THE BEST!
    Comments: 104

    A&W: Baywatch is our BFF!

    Huh, so Slade’s actor was actually smart. Had no idea. Maybe he tried to be a shitty actor so they would kick him out of the show?

    Tentacles attack! Everyone run!

    Mitch has been kidnapped! I thought only a burger could! Plus, Mitch is my favorite character on Baywatch. He’s obviously an idiot savant. Too stupid to realize obvious shit, smart enough to commit surgery on a dingy boat.

    Stephanie is back from London bitches, and she’s here to fight the GODAMN tentacle monster. Oh I wished she did.

    Prisons should stop using sliding doors, then maybe this crap wouldn’t happen.

    I hate to argue with you, but Mitch had every right to beat the crap out of everyone in that boat. They deserved it.

    Okay, I hate to admit it, but the last line in the episode was actually funny. Props to you Baywatch for actually doing something funny ON purpose.

    Well, Slade will be gone, but his wooden acting will be with us forever.

  • Lermont
    CUUUUT
    Comments: 77

    Aw, come on. There are giant tentacles manhandling a bunch of people and not a single dirty joke? I mean I know that isn’t your style, but how often do perfect chances like that come along?

  • snorgatch
    snorgatch
    JUST GOT ACTUALLY-ED!
    Comments: 140

    Yes, because octopi are infamous for their ferocity and aggression.

    There was a shitty Italian Jaws-ripoff called Tentacles, with an octopus instead of a shark. You should do that one on Movie Nights.

    Allison, I absolutely love the voice you do for Summer. It perfectly conveys how vapid and useless she is.

  • happymel2
    happymel2
    Fighting Steffi Love
    Comments: 165

    So basically Kelly Slater is the Anti-Allison when it comes to Baywatch plots. 

  • Jon Protagonist
    Jon Protagonist
    Fighting Steffi Love
    Comments: 169

    Ah here we are…

    When I think back to my vague memories of this show from my youth, this is the cast I recall, only Alexandra Paul had shorter hair, and her sister played by perpetually pouty-faced Yasmin Bleeth in a lifeguard suit…I think Summer sticks around a little longer too, but I never really watched the show, just remember it always being on every other channel in syndication like a Huey Lewis song in the 80s, you couldn’t escape it.

    Love these reviews, so funny with a better continuity than the actual show!

     

     

  • Aethelred
    Aethelred
    Just might make the CUT
    Comments: 48

    I know it’s the mid-90s, plus all three have the personality of white toast, but she could just be with them both. Just saying.

  • the_desert
    the_desert
    Bat Hero
    Comments: 82

    As a child I drank A&W Cream Soda when I was sick and ended up vomiting it all over the place. To this day, the thought of A&W Cream Soda makes me nauseous. Good share.