17 Comments

  • Knightroglycerin
    Knightroglycerin
    Robert Cop
    Comments: 189

    Good on you for getting your frustrations out. I was so angry about I Spit On Her Grave that a made a twitter account (which I never use, ever) just to tell Brad that I agreed with him at horrible it was. I was so pissed it bothered me for the rest of the day until I was finally able to rant to a couple people about it.

    Ah a “freindzone” character showing just how creepy and pathetic the friendzone excuse really is.

    I don’t know why, but watching Ellen play straight characters always bothers me. Like, maybe I’m bothered for her? I dunno, I just hope she wasn’t too uncomfortable doing it even though this is a terrible movie. I’m surprised she wasn’t raped for laughs. Plus, is she supposed to look like Princess Di on the cover?

  • Alex C.
    Alex C.
    JUST GOT ACTUALLY-ED!
    Comments: 157

    “Movie bad. Movie go away.”

    -Tom Servo, MST3K episode 618 (Out of This World short)

  • Dust
    Bat Hero
    Comments: 80

    The movie couldn’t even do a “walk into the sunset” without being just wrong. That last shot, he’s up on the horse while she’s walking (and apparently having to lead the horse)… yeah, can totally tell he really loves her as anything beyond a prize.

  • SpeedyEric
    CUUUUT
    Comments: 64

    It’s a shame that the actor who played Michael Myers in the original Halloween went on to make this crap.  But at least Bill Pullman later starred in a much better movie in 1996 which became a box office hit.

    I take it that you regret seeing this movie as much as I regret seeing Skyline in theaters, cause I was just like you.  I just wanted to see a movie for funzies, but the characters and their development are what killed it for me.  I had more fun seeing Kazaam on the big screen than that movie.  …KAZAAM!

    4:29- And the music composer of this thing previously did the score for A Nightmare on Elm Street 4.  And I take it that the music to this thing should be more like the creepy stalker music used by The Cinema Snob in his review of Old Fashioned.

    8:48- To qoute someone who is much more funny that this movie, “…WHAT WERE THEY THINKING!?”

    Oh, don’t worry, Allison.  I have no plans on finding a copy of this insult to the senses of a movie, and this is coming from someone who rented Suburban Commando at a young age.

  • valou999
    Just might make the CUT
    Comments: 59

    Even though I’ve never seen it, this movie offends me greatly. If there’s one thing that I *HATE* beyond anything else in the world, it’s when a person (male or female) is made to feel ashame or inadequate for being single by its peers, like it’s the biggest failure ever, you know, as though happiness can never be found otherwise. Being asexual (and knowing that social pressure all too well), I find that excessively insulting and presumptuous in real life… so when you have a movie in which characters push the protoganist to date a completely demented man because she needs a men supposedly, I can’t help but feel sick to my stomach. But worst is the ending, because oh no, we sure can’t have the main character end up with nobody… so she hooks up with the other creepster and this is treated as a good thing. /barf

  • Joker Jr.
    Old Man
    Comments: 4

    Wow that movie seems really poorly written, and that’s being very nice.

    Hey Lupa, if you’re still in your Dean Stockwell phase I know of one movie he did voice work for:  Batman Beyond Return of the Joker.  I found out about Dean in the movie because the commentary track talked about him.  I wont spoil the movie for ya but he does play an old man in it. 🙂

  • Joker Jr.
    Old Man
    Comments: 4

    This movie is….something.  It kinda had potential but that would  require a whole new script, and that’s being nice.

    Hey Lupa if you’re still in a Dean Stockwell phase you should look at his only two voice rolls he has had:  Duke Nukem from Captain Planet (yes seriously) and Batman Beyond Return of the Joker.  ROTJ is how I found out about Dean myself because of the commentary track and I looked up his movies.  If not for the show just for the fun of it. 🙂

  • Joker Jr.
    Old Man
    Comments: 4

    This movie is….something.  It kinda had potential but that would  require a whole new script, and that’s being nice.

    Hey Lupa if you’re still in a Dean Stockwell phase you should look at his only two voice rolls he has had:  Duke Nukem from Captain Planet (yes seriously) and Batman Beyond Return of the Joker.  ROTJ is how I found out about Dean myself because of the commentary track and I looked up his movies.  I’m surprised that Dean hasn’t done more voice work than what he has.  He’s got a very nice voice for it.

  • constantcriticizer
    Old Man
    Comments: 1

    I felt like too much of the criticism here was on the horrible things happening, and not enough on why they weren’t funny. I kept thinking “if this was Charlie and the Waitress it’d be hilarious”.

  • The Phantom of Pulp
    I'm THE BEST!
    Comments: 112

    Wow; I do not remember the last time I ever saw you this angry.

    Though this movie does look vile in everyway; it played on TV once and the guide talked about it and mentioned how the boyfriend gets ‘a little crazy’ or something like that, really under selling this film’s nature.

    But it could have been worse; she could have ended up with Bill Pulman and been portrayed as wrong the whole time.

    Maybe, at some point in it’s life, like at the story board phase or something, this movie was trying to be a commentary on the enphasis on finding romance in then modern society.

    As far as awful stuff you’ve seen, is this as bad as Monster High?

  • Ry-Guy
    Ry-Guy
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 13

    Wooooow…. That is one big pile of crap. 🙁

  • Spike
    Spike
    The Fuct of Pepsiman
    Comments: 221

    I juh…. WHAT?!
    That’s awful!

    What the hell were these people thinking, and how did this ever get funded?

    Screw this film.

    Great review though.

  • snorgatch
    snorgatch
    JUST GOT ACTUALLY-ED!
    Comments: 140

    This movie can’t even fall back on the excuse that it was made 20 years ago to explain away its warped view of romance. It was a critical and commercial failure when it came out.

  • happymel2
    happymel2
    Fighting Steffi Love
    Comments: 177

    OMG. Knowing what we know now makes this movie hilarious. ^.^ This movie came out the year I was born. Wow. The alternate love interest just looked romantic since they made the stalker character SO SO creepy.

  • Loki Duck
    Loki Duck
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 10

    Wow, I saw your rants on tumblr but I did not realize it was this bad.

    Also you are right about this movie almost feeling like it’s trying to force heternormativity down her throat XD

    Kind of makes me hope that after this movie when adrenaline stopped kicking in and she has time to think about what happened, she ditches stalker boy and then proceeds to hook up with a hot lady friend who treats her right and makes her completely happy.

  • likalaruku
    likalaruku
    Completely Useless Now
    Comments: 768

    Sounds like it was inspired by an 80s shoujo anime, except they’re not all in highschool.

  • lunabuna
    CUUUUT
    Comments: 67

    It’s okay, I do that thing where you watch a movie just for one actor’s small bit part, too. XD I rewatched Captain America because Jenna Coleman was the love interest’s best friend for, like, two scenes, and by the time they were done, I just switched it off. (Sorry, that movie puts me to sleep! Second one is great, though) Poor Ellen. I adore her, but society back then just couldn’t handle the idea of someone being publicly gay who’s also OKAY with being gay. I’m glad she has her own talk show now.

    Also, I had to post this here instead of YouTube because the comments section was full of people telling other people that both of those guys for their own reasons were great guys she would be lucky to have and to stop bitching. In other words: YouTube is full of sociopaths. -_-; Seriously, if you’ve ever been harassed or stalked, this is not funny at all! And people treating it as if it’s ahaha-so-funnee makes it even worse! Ugh.

    If you’re reading this, is there a chance you’ll be out to San Diego Comic Con? I know it’s doubtful you’ll be here this year, but it’d be great to see you here in San Diego sometime. 🙂