Time to look at the movie with the really phony star… also the CG Turtles that play 2nd fiddle to her.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)
Time to look at the movie with the really phony star… also the CG Turtles that play 2nd fiddle to her.
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I’ve been waiting scene this movie was released back in 2014 for this review. <3
Well, at least something good came out of this… new helmet for Phel-Shredder! = P
Okay, firstly I don’t disagree with everything, but there are a few key points I want to dispute that you bring up here.
Firstly, the TMNT’s looking like ugly mutants is kinda the point. Since day 1 of the TMNT mythos, the human characters go on and on about how supposedly “ugly” the turtles are, except in most versions they really aren’t. For me personally, the fact they aren’t ‘cute’ is a plus since they’re MUTANTS. It’d be like complaining that Batman has pointy ears, given that it’s a fundamental aspect of what they are–hiding from humanity because it wouldn’t accept them and they’d react with fear of them.
Second, while I very much agree that the CGI is distractingly fake and would’ve liked if they’d used proper suits, just perhaps with the face made with/enhanced with CG (because then the actors could actually see), it does have three major advantages:
1: They can move much more freely. The original Jim Henson puppets looked great standing and walking around, but when they tried to move fully or even just talk, it was clear they were very restricted and stiff a lot of the time.
2: They couldn’t make “O” or “E” movements with their lips, and I always felt that was distracting. The voice actors did put in solid performances in the 1990 movie, but the mouths of the puppets just didn’t move right at all–especially when they had tongues that were static.
3: The CGI is FAR more expressive in terms of emotional range. Again, the Jim Henson puppets did fine with some stuff, and the eyebrow area and some areas of the mouth did express a little, but for any kind of particularly subtle or extreme reaction, they just couldn’t express it as well as the animated ones.
Third. The characters of the 1990 movie weren’t developed or distinct whatsoever, except for Raph. I could not remotely pin down what the differences between Leonardo, Michelangelo or Donatello are. Hell, Donnie kept stealing scenes and character traits that every other character’s supposed to have–like exchanging insults with Casey Jones in the workshop theme, which for the longest time (before I re-watched it) I could’ve sworn that it was Raph in that scene. Plus they all look virtually identical except for their mask colour too, making distinguishing them quite difficult in quickly paced scenes. Raph is the only one to have character development in the 1990 movie, having to deal with his anger issues, which doesn’t really get a full exploration as to how… or whether he even did.
Whereas in the 2014 movie, they bothered to make them all look and act distinct. Sure, it’s not deep, but they put the effort into making sure you know at a single glance who each one was very easily, and they all have different outlooks and personalities you could pin down. Mikey’s jokey, Don’s nerdy, Raph’s angry, and Leo’s a responsible leader. Only one of these were explored in the 1990 movie, and that was Raph’s anger.
I think that’s all I can really defend in the 2014 film, since the rest of what you said here I do agree with, but I felt it important to at least point out what I felt was good about it to be as fair as I can be.
I’ll definitely give them credit for making the turtles distinct. In the old comics, I hear the turtles all had the same color bandannas… In the old cartoon, if your saturation was up high enough or your TV colors were too red, you couldn’t tell Michelangelo from Raphael because the orange was too red, & you couldn’t tell Donatello from Leonardo because the blue was too purple. & while we’re on appearances, it seems that after issue 3 of the Mirage series, April got an Afro & her skin darkened considerably because her creators couldn’t agree if she was Irish or Black.
Yeah the turtles have a history of not looking distinct. Luckily the Nick TMNT currently has very different looks for them all (though the season I saw was really terrible).
The movie has them all so very distinct that it’s impossible NOT to know at a glance who’s who.
And indeed, the very first time the Turtles were created they all had the red bandanas and all had the same (kinda nonexistent) personality making them impossible TO tell apart.
The more interesting thing about April to me is that she was originally a scientist in the first comics. Quite why they changed her from a brilliant scientist who helps the Turtles all the damn time in the books, to a stupid brain-dead jackass who gets kidnapped all the time in the cartoon (a change that still annoys me to this day) I don’t know. She’s like Lois Lane without any hint of intelligence or competence in the ’87 cartoon.
Never read the latter comics, but at some point it went viral that in the Mirage series, it turned out that April wasn’t even human, but more like a Cool World style Doodle her father brought to life.
I’ve heard this Internet rumor before about April, but it was obviously spread by someone who didn’t really read the actual Mirage comics. Firstly, her skin wasn’t darkened. The original Mirage comics were printed in black and white, so you couldn’t have something like a wide variety of skin tones. There wasn’t even grayscale in those early comics, just white space and black ink. Secondly, she didn’t get an afro, she got a perm. It made her hair very frizzy and poofy yes, but this was the 80’s. In fact, in that very issue you mention, she walks into her apartment where the turtles are hiding out and they comment on how her hair is different now, and she says “Yeah, I got a perm, what do you think?” And one of them responds by thinking that she looks pretty hot, for a human.
Yes it’s true that her looks did change from time to time in the Mirage universe, but it wasn’t because Kevin and Peter couldn’t agree on what ethnicity she was, or something like that.
The first few minutes of this video sum up perfectly why I never bothered to see the movie.
Weird-looking CG turtles and non-stop camera movement??? Thanks, I’ll skip it.
To be fair, the movie does contain about two collective minutes worth of enjoyable bits. It’s a good watch with the Rifftrax commentary.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G13dDthPENg
The footage of them snowboarding & sewer surfing made me dizzy. I hate CGI modern fight scenes, because the camera pans all over the place instead of focusing on a particular fight. & even when they manage to do that, they feel that have to show it from all angels, like we’ll get bored if the camera doesn’t spin out of control every 5 seconds.
Woops, I meant Angles.
Ugh, no wonder nobody went to see the sequel, they couldn’t even keep the “bulletproof” thing consistent, the boys are afraid of getting SHOT in the police station. That plot point was always asinine anyway, they’re not Superman! Glad to finally see this, Phelous, like everyone else been waiting with baited breath for the official review on top of the after-movie rant.
What did Out of the Shadows get at the box office?
SHREDDED!!!!!!
I found that really irritating because 1) they clearly established the bulletproof thing and they can’t just go back immediately afterwards, 2) they’re fricking ninjas (sort of) and shouldn’t have any difficulty not getting shot by regular cops, especially inside of a building (and for good measure, there’s a group of regular non-bulletproof ninjas in the exact same building at the same time with the same mission who aren’t having this problem at all), and 3) it comes into play later on when the Turtles have to convince the police not to shoot them while they attack Krang in the Technodrome, almost making it seem as if the police (or any armed group of people, like for example the Foot Clan they easily dominated in the PREVIOUS MOVIE) are a greater threat than Krang and the Technodrome.
What a surprise that something with Micheal Bay associated in the production turned out to be absolute shit with no heart and soul put into it.
Wait, so in the 1990 movie Splinter wasn’t Hamato Yoshi? …well. That’s quite stupid. Fuck it, let’s just pretend he is.
Awesome new Shredder mask, by the way. Where’d you find it?
He wasn’t Hamato Yoshi in the original Mirage comics, either. That was something the ’88 cartoon established.
What?! Aw man… I wasn’t aware of that. Just seems to make more sense that Splinter is a mutated Hamato Yoshi rather than… a rat that learned how to fight from watching Hamato Yoshi.
No, he was a rat in the original comics. That’s why they did it that way in the original movie. In fact, the Movie in many ways (the 1990 version) was mostly a retelling of the first year or so of the Mirage Comics with some minor changes here and there (Leo was the one that got beat up in the comics instead of Raph).
“The rat mimicking ninjutsu was dumb… but we can top that! We’ll make him able to read!”
And make April the mother-figure or something. Just to make Mikey hitting on her even creepier.
Totally turned April into a Black Hole Sue. (Won’t you come & wash away the plot?).
There was so much wrong with this movie, it’s amazing this review is as cohesive as it is. Even if you pretend that no other version of TMNT ever existed and this was an original movie, it would still suck. Character and story assassinations aside, the film is just plain boring.
Great review Phelous, is The Next Mutation next?
I’ve been marathoning the series (and original trilogy) since I mentioned it last week, IMHO it’s certainly a better follow-up to Secrets of the Ooze than TMNT III was and I’d argue it has more merits than this film too.
Cheers
Rowan/LSWSjr
My guess is he won’t do it until it’s out on DVD, judging by the amount of time he reviewed Unfriended & TMNT after they came out. At least if I’m remembering correctly. ::checks:: Yeah, that seems about right, at least a year between the movie release & the review. Otherwise he can only talk about it & use trailer footage.
Ah yes, let us celebrate the creepy, overly-horny part of the teenage boy. I’m sure all the date-raped teenage girls will appreciate it.
Umm… Is date-raped teenage girls an actual demographic? Because if so I’m just going to go ahead and bungee jump off the Eiffel Tower without the cord.
Probably not, but I work at a woman’s shelter so I encounter it a lot, unfortunately.
I don’t know about date-raped, but it’s been estimated 1/4 of the entire population of women has been sexually assaulted in some form, so yeah, in a sense, it can be considered a demographic. My boyfriend actually doesn’t know any girls/women who weren’t sexually assaulted at some point in their lives. Any.
It’s a terrible thing. 🙁 And really, all the attention April gets for being hot makes me really uncomfortable. But really, that is kind of all she has going for her in this movie, but that’s neither here nor there.
(Sorry. I hit the Report botton instead of Reply button on accident again. I suck.)
It might explain how Law & Order SVU could last 17 years on nothing but sex crimes. ::shrugs::
We’re over half-way through the series and the issue of dating’s only come up once, in the second episode. Also, date rape has nothing to do with TMNT outside of the Mirage series.
Seems like you’re just fixated… on teenage boys… now that’s creepy.
Cheers
Rowan/LSWSjr
Granted you might also be talking about the Review/OT, so I apologize if I made a mistake Knightroglycerin 🙁
Cheers
Rowan/LSWSjr
I was referring to Bay’s portrayal of constantly horny teen boys in a comedic light and/or as a character trait. Is that really something to be nostalgic over? To me, that’d be like having nostalgia for the random mood swings and constant crying I dealt with as a teen. Maybe I’m taking it too personally, but with the Stanford rape case bullshit, it touches a nerve.
Watching this review I came up with a better way to get around white Shredder issue, just shoot a quick scene with an underling saying “Sacks has failed you Master Saki” to a man hidden in the shadows. Sacks remains the main villain for the climax and you still have an accurate Shredder to use in the sequel.
I haven’t seen this one, but it could it possibly be more juvenile than TMNT 2 (1991)? I tried rewatching that a few weeks ago…Despite my love of cheesy so-bad-it’s-good, I just….couldn’t sit all the way through it. It’s rather condescending to its audience & was clearly aimed at young children.
Don’t remember where I read it, but someone once said that if you’re doing martial arts, you want a lean body & that muscles weight & slow you down & make you less agile. That would at least be true for Rob Liefeld abominations. & same goes for Shredder fighting in heavy metal armor, that’s why martial classes in games wear light leather or cloth armor.
“Raph will just be angry for Angery’s sake.” That’s what I got out of the 4kids Raph from that Turtles Forever crossover.
Splinter: “Natalie, hand me a wipe.”
The “Michelangelo has a thing for April” apparently goes back to the 90s, but I guess as a kid, I never picked up on where that started.
Shredder’s mask has kind of a Billy the Puppet thing going for it.
Heheh, William Fichtner looks like a very German Christopher Walken.
Plank & Johnny 2×4 would make a better April.
I vaguely remember Vern being a fuck-you-got-mine, trouble magnet, Scooby-level coward & narcissist clutz who didn’t really get along with anyone. Am I wrong?
“The “Michelangelo has a thing for April” apparently goes back to the 90s, but I guess as a kid, I never picked up on where that started.”
Probably the original series episode where he turns human for a while.
Mikey having a thing for April I don’t mind, a little crush I can understand. Even the original movie had the line from him “Can we keep her?” But he never came off as sexual and to openly admit that he is getting a hard-on looking at her is pretty sickening. But then again this is Michael Bay who seems to love putting sex and pedophilia jokes into his movies and people still laugh.
Yeah, there’s lines about them thinking April is a “babe” in the original which is fine. They just don’t need to get into that creepy territory like “I feel my shell tightening”.
God help us if he ever does a live adaptation of Gargoyles. But at least Goliath & Elisa is canon.
It might work w/ Guillermo Del Toro. He shows respect for the original material as shown by his Hellboy Films.
Or maybe Christopher Nolan. Although that would be a very odd pairing.
Regarding Donatello’s glasses; the pattern on the frames is called tortoiseshell. Clever or not? You decide.
I totally lost it when Phelous played Mikey’s “sorry that was totally creepy” after every one of his lines. XD