75 Comments

  • wetman
    CUUUUT
    Comments: 71

    Ok I usually don’t make comments before seeing the whole video but wtf was up with that Secret of Mulan?! She’s like…a bug, but giant? There’s also a giant butterfly man riding a bunny? Seriously WTF is going on in that movie?!

    • OrangeRider
      OrangeRider
      I think we should be enemies
      Comments: 323

      It looks like UAV was trying to make a mockbuster of BOTH Mulan and A Bug’s Life but failed miserably.

  • Dunes
    Robert Cop
    Comments: 190

    I’ve seen the Mulan one before. It certainly was interesting.

  • Dunes
    Robert Cop
    Comments: 190

    Esmerelda reminds me of a younger Wendie Malick for some reason.

  • SailorSlamDunk
    SailorSlamDunk
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 38

    I swore this was a Goodtimes picture, but soon found out that I had been deceived! Suppose I forgot there’s more than one cheap animation knockoff studio in the world for a minute.

    The doctor taking the pills got me to laugh, unfortunately.

    Also, I notice how for much of the first act of the movie (unless that was just how you edited it) Quasimodo’s face is obscured, so that we’re more stunned by how ugly he is when they show it. Seems to undermine the “looks don’t matter” moral a bit, doesn’t it?

    Oh and somehow I called the secret two seconds before it was revealed

  • Nobody_700
    Nobody_700
    I'm THE BEST!
    Comments: 104

    Life is full of secrets. Even Hunchbacks and transgender Chinese girls have them.

    Anyone is welcome, except ugly people.

    Quasimodo is Jesus confirmed.

    Next Frollo job will be a bus driver. He died soon after because Bus drivers don’t exist yet.

    Siro’s French descendent has appeared! Siro Kick this movie out of existence!

    Piere is an asshole! Ditching his friend to die for a girl.

    The Archdeacon is the best lock picker ever, even better the next that Jill sandwich.

    So the sheriff died taking out a gargoyle. Better then those dumbass KKK rejects from Gargoyles lamest season. (I’m still pissed about that crap)

    WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! I’m not even going to spoil the secret. JUST WHAT?!

    • Kooshmeister
      Kooshmeister
      I'm THE BEST!
      Comments: 101

      I liked the final episode of it, if nothing else; at least the gargoyles found some acceptance, if nothing else.

    • Kooshmeister
      Kooshmeister
      I'm THE BEST!
      Comments: 101

      Come on, The Goliath Chronicles wasn’t that bad (especially compared to this insanity). And if nothing else, the last episode at least had some closure to it, something I think people perpetually peeved over the direction(s) the story took often overlook/conveniently fail to mention, so it didn’t simply stop dead like The Pirates of Dark Water infamously did.

      • Nobody_700
        Nobody_700
        I'm THE BEST!
        Comments: 104

        Honestly, I found Chronicles to be average, but it was awful because it ruined the awesomeness of Gargoyles with a lot of silly elements and those Quarrymen, who went from people afraid of gargoyles… To straight up bad guys knowing gargoyles are good.

        Still better then the Avalon boat trip arc. 3 plots all based on the same thing. I think only 2 or 3 episodes were good from that 20 episode long arc.  Not counting the everyone vs Oberon parts. Those were just awesome.

  • Spike
    Spike
    Leader of the Decepticons
    Comments: 212

    Whu–wu–WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTT???!!!?!!!!??!!

    What the fuck was that supposed to…. ANYTHING?!!??!!
    Quazimodo is an angel?! That’s so ridiculous. Dafuq where they thinking???

    I can’t even quite comprehend what I just saw….

     

    Great review, I do like it whenever you review one of those hilariously inept animated films. Speaking of inept animation, any chance you might cover that animated Mortal Kombat animated series? What was it called, Defenders of the Realm or something?

    • Phelous
      Phelous
      Administrator
      Comments: 601

      Probably at some point, I do have it as a goal on Patreon to do episode reviews of that show.

      • Nobody_700
        Nobody_700
        I'm THE BEST!
        Comments: 104

        Oh, please do. I actually watched the show, and well… It has so much material.

         

        Blubber Butt.

        • Brother_Malachai
          Captain Sillypants
          Comments: 285

          IT’S KOMBAT TIME!!!!!

           

          The most unsubtle and blunt member of the Team is the woman from Special Forces.  Let that sink in.  A character that is supposed to have spec ops training (stealth, hit and run, etc….) is so unsubtle you’d think she was an 80’s Cheese “Commando.”  :-/

          • Nobody_700
            Nobody_700
            I'm THE BEST!
            Comments: 104

            True, but don’t forget Stryker, the man who replaced Cage because he’s a cop. Wait, why did he replace Cage again?

  • Parker
    Quan Chi
    Just might make the CUT
    Comments: 50

    I look forward to when you get around to doing the Dingo Pictures version of this story, Phelous. Its hilariously mean-spirited.

  • Saintdane05
    Old Man
    Comments: 4

    I figured this film out: It’s a Christian Film.

    Thnk on it – That’s why Frollo was changed from a minister to a sheriff, with all references to his religion removed. The angel wInge at the end (Which is a twist I kind of like TBH) makes more sense as well. IN addition, the only characters with religion are the Friar and the other guy, who are 100% portrayed as Christians.

    Oh, and what else did this production company work on? A Christian CD-I series.

    • OrangeRider
      OrangeRider
      I think we should be enemies
      Comments: 323

      Then, why there’s a scene where the two priest guys are together while wedding music plays? It was like in the 14th-15th century where most people in the Western World believed that LGBT people were evil! I guess they were trying to stay in the closet. I’m not homo- or trans-phobic or anything, but……

      • Nobody_700
        Nobody_700
        I'm THE BEST!
        Comments: 104

        Maybe this is a Christian film that’s pro gay?

        • OrangeRider
          OrangeRider
          I think we should be enemies
          Comments: 323

          Maybe…..

          • OrangeRider
            OrangeRider
            I think we should be enemies
            Comments: 323

            The reason why Frollo is not a priest in most adaptations is because of the Hays Code (the MPAA’s way of censoring movies before they used movie ratings) of the 1930’s-1960’s.

            Also, about the gay priests, the Christians they worked with must’ve been huge yaoi fan-boys/girls (This is supposed to be just a joke but it feels like it).

          • OrangeRider
            OrangeRider
            I think we should be enemies
            Comments: 323

            Note: This is coming from an autistic lesbian. So, LGBT rights FTW!

  • Alex C.
    Alex C.
    JUST GOT ACTUALLY-ED!
    Comments: 155

    The only way the secret of the hunchback’s reveal could be better is if Quasimofo falls off the cathedral, his hunch magically grows into wings, and… He still hits the ground and dies.

  • Hutto2015
    Hutto2015
    Old Man
    Comments: 1

    Dear God, you weren’t kidding about that ending! Totally unexpected! Great review as always! How the dam hell are you able to keep your sanity with these ‘movies’ you watch?

  • Marvelfan211
    Marvelfan211
    I'm THE BEST!
    Comments: 101

    Your voices were so fantastic this review. A few times it took me a second to realize it was you. Seriously, you had me laughing throughout.

     

    Still, Phelous, you couldn’t compete with that ending. I was laughing harder and longer at that shit than anything you said. Sorry, but you just can’t compete with ANGEL HUNCHBACK!!!

     

    Thank you for that gift.

  • WolfQueen87
    WolfQueen87
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 10

    Phelous you have to review the other secret movies now D: please! PLEASE!

  • likalaruku
    likalaruku
    Completely Useless Now
    Comments: 763

    I sure don’t remember Mary Kate & Ashley having their own cartoon. Then again, they did have 9 cringeworthy video games…..

    Upon second watch of Disney’s Hunchback, I decided that the live gargoyles were all in Quasimodo’s insane head, but it would have been cool if they’d used less annoying characters from Disney’s Gargoyles instead.

    Oh gawd, I hope that Golden Films version is on your To Do list.

    Cartoons always whitewash the original story because they don;t think kids can handle sad endings. You should see kids react to the 80s anime version of The Little Mermaid.

    Ah, this story was supposed to be in the 19th century? Disney has always been godawful at historically accurate clothing (even in The Princess & the Frog), so I could never tell if theirs was supposed to be set in medieval times or the renaissance. Can’t say I’ve ever seen clothes like this in any French period costume book either. If it’s medieval, than the church would have had more power & political sway than even the king.

    “This animation studio worked on a few episodes of Gargoyles.” & yet they look bootleg grade here. The irony….

    Quasimido latter became an attorney, changed his name to Harvey, & used all his attorney money on removing his hump, liposuction, & getting his legs stretched, but he could never loose the face that looked like it lost a bar fight, & so, he never took off his mask.

    • OrangeRider
      OrangeRider
      I think we should be enemies
      Comments: 323

      I remember Mary Kate & Ashley a bit! These twins were total cash cows back in the early-2000’s! They kind of remind me of Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi for some weird reason.

    • Brother_Malachai
      Captain Sillypants
      Comments: 285

      No, it’s 1400’s.  Phelous kinda goofed.  Sorry Phelous.  D:

      • OrangeRider
        OrangeRider
        I think we should be enemies
        Comments: 323

        The best celebrity-based cartoon/anime I’ve ever seen has to be the 4th episode of B-Project Kodou*Ambitious where Takanori “T.M. Revolution” Nishikawa guest starred as a thinly-veiled parody of himself called Takanori Nishiyama (who is my current avatar as of typing this) and all his scenes in that 1 episode were still better than all of the 40-something-or-so Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi episodes combined (but I still think that HHPAY is one of those so bad its good shows though). Also, I find that pretty ironic that Takanori “T.M. Revolution” Nishikawa who both guest starred in Episode 4 and executive produced all the episodes of B-Project was also married to Yumi from HHPAY once (1999-2003). Maybe, TMR’s guest appearance in Episode 4 of B-Project was meant to make fun of the entirety of Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi and/or the concept of celebrity-based cartoons/shows in general? It seems pretty likely to me.

  • Jon Protagonist
    Jon Protagonist
    Fighting Steffi Love
    Comments: 177

    The secret of the Hunchback is: He’s lactose intolerant.

  • Jon Protagonist
    Jon Protagonist
    Fighting Steffi Love
    Comments: 177

    Pumaman…he flies like a moron…!

     

  • Loki Duck
    Loki Duck
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 10

    Man the part where Pierre ditched him to save Esmerelda and yelling that he was going to avenge him nearly killed me from laughter because that was amazing and I am shocked that line was actually in the movie.

    This movie was a fun ride from start to finish but your jokes were hilarious as well, and it made it really enjoyable.

    Also nice jab at Victor Frankenstein, I personally thought the film was dumb fun but it was a great jab none the less.

  • C-Puff
    C-Puff
    Just might make the CUT
    Comments: 49

    *sighs*  You know… I actually like the Disney version of this story. Yes, they completely changed major plot points from the novel but at least it owned a lot of its religious setting and darker plot elements… you know… until the gargoyles started singing (Seriously, fuck those gargoyles and whoever decided they needed to sugar-coat the story for the kids)

    But this is…. this is painful ;___; I’m not even gonna rant about it. I don’t think I’ll survive. Although, this is better (if you can believe that) to the rip-off Hunchback my parents bought me in 1996. Which had Quasi literally be…. erm… “differently abled” if you will. I mean I know in the novel he could barely speak but the one I saw…. ermmm….

    Actually come to think of it, I’m not sure which is worse any more.

    You know what guys?? How about just stop trying to adapt a novel by the same guy who wrote a book literally called “The Miserable Ones”.

    And hey, how about the fact that the Hunchback novel’s main characters was partially based on a real person. That’s not insulting at all!

    Oh who am I kidding. After the Titanic cartoons we might as well have that animated Anne Frank adaptation with the talking mice and happy ending. I’m gonna go get drunk.

  • Lermont
    Bat Hero
    Comments: 80

    Too bad Victor Hugo isn’t alive to see this. I would have loved to see his reaction.

  • KaijuKid
    KaijuKid
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 36

    Wow, I never thought I’d see a reference to Adventures in Odyssey on this show 🙂  The Odyssey animated films were designed for really young kids so they aren’t particularly interesting, but the AIO radio series is actually a pretty good drama half the time and for fans of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and 90s cartoons the there’s a lot of fun to be had with the voice cast.  Townsend Coleman (Michelangelo) portrays some major characters, and Peter Renaday (Splinter) does a lot of historical characters like the Apostle Paul.  There’s others but those two were always big highlights for me, it’s a lot of fun when they show up.

  • KaijuKid
    KaijuKid
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 36

    Cannot unsee…..any other version of Hunchback I ever watch again will have a nagging element of wings hidden below the surface….surely it is canonical now for all times.

  • KaijuKid
    KaijuKid
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 36

    Cannot unsee…..from now on all I will be able to think is that Quasi’s got a parachute pack of wings under there…..

  • Matsuri
    Old Man
    Comments: 3

    That ending xD
    I actually looked at another tab for some seconds, switched back….. right to the moment Quasimodo flies around…..
    Then I had to rewind because of being super confused xD

  • The Phantom of Pulp
    I'm THE BEST!
    Comments: 112

    Hooray!! More crummy animated films!

    At least the gargoyles singing blues sounds better then ‘Guy Like You’

    23:32 or if there was a cartoon of Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde; that would be ludicrus

    25:00 oh how bad can it…WHAT THE HELL!?!??!?!?!?! And there I was thinking the weirdest thing about this movie (nice Pumaman tune use then)

    This was weird….but the Mondo version was weirder: that got insane!!! I’m just going to leave the part one here as it’s got to be seen:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWIlh4tWSAk

    Hey Phelous, have you ever reviewed anything by Mondo? You really should: they’re a gold mine (I left links in the comments sections of the Alice and Wonderland video)

     

    • Brother_Malachai
      Captain Sillypants
      Comments: 285

      WTH, Frollo is a GOOD GUY!?  X_x

      • Brother_Malachai
        Captain Sillypants
        Comments: 285

        At least in the sense that he doesn’t mistreat Quasimodo anyway.

        • The Phantom of Pulp
          I'm THE BEST!
          Comments: 112

          As from slapping him upside the head for going out, that wasn’t really very nice…wait, in the movie where they actually show a diformed baby and a man marries a goat who was turned into a woman who earlier, still a goat, convicts Esmerelda, Frodo being a good guy is what you took away from it?

          You do realise how weird this is right?

          • Brother_Malachai
            Captain Sillypants
            Comments: 285

            Well, alas.  The comments were from much earlier on when I watched this.  But yeah, this whole thing is a giant pile of wth.  I think it might break Phelous where Dingo failed.  X_x

          • The Phantom of Pulp
            I'm THE BEST!
            Comments: 112

            Makes sense now…

            Yeah, it would….if not this one then one of the many others…this is not the weirdest. Believe me, it’s not

    • OrangeRider
      OrangeRider
      I think we should be enemies
      Comments: 323

      Mondo TV, that name sounds familar…….. Weren’t they the guys who made 2 of the animated Titanic movies, Puppy in My Pocket: Adventures in Pocketville, Angel’s Friends (a rip-off of Winx Club with the 4Kids voice actors), and other terrible cash-ins to popular properties?

  • MoonSapphire
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 13

    UAV seems so much like the poor man’s version of GoodTimes. The sad part is I remember watching Young Pocahontas when I was 6…

  • Brother_Malachai
    Captain Sillypants
    Comments: 285

    Aw, I like your voice Phelous.  D:

  • mater-suspiriorum
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 6

    Seeing this review reminded me of something. I think in either 3rd or 4th grade, a teacher made us watch this. I remember it a little differently, since, as a young’un, I couldn’t really process how bland the animation was. I think it’s rather normal for kids of that age to mix imagination with what they’re seeing.

    But I kinda remember this movie fondly, despite how silly it was. I’ll always remember our teacher saying “Lord have mercy,” (very loudly) when Quasimodo got whipped, and one of my then-friends who saw the Disney version and kept whispering to me “This didn’t happen.”

    Wonder if that kid got into your videos. Only seeing a cheap cash-in movie can set someone upon the path of obsession of… more knock-offs and bootleg toys. It worked for me, so maybe it’d work for other people idk.

  • rodro
    rodro
    Just might make the CUT
    Comments: 47

    What in the name of Sakaguchi happened at 15:50? o_O

  • TheDog
    TheDog
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 7

    And then Angel Quasimodo went on to join the Literary X-Men, alongside Wolverine Mulan, Ms. Marvel Juliet, Beast Natty Bumpo, Colossus Mr. Hyde, and Cyclops Gilgamesh.

    • ljaylue
      Old Man
      Comments: 3

      Thank you, Phelous! I’ve been watching your work for awhile now and I just recently registered on your website. I love your videos! Your critique on rip offs are really funny.  Keep up the good work.

      Unpopular opinion: Disney’s Hunchback of Notre Dame is so wonderfully done and is underrated. It has a ton of flaws, but hey at least Disney tried to do something bold by discussing religious corruption and lust. I gotta say that with all these Disney recent ‘reboots’ this has got to be the one that desperately needs a clean up. Brilliant book, developed characters and a fantastic villain. I don’t know if you saw  “Top Hottest Animated Characters” by Lindsay Ellis, but Frollo was a huge part of my sexual awakening, judge all you want people, it’s the internet.  (ranked # 1o fyi)  Haha, silly but whatever.

      Again, thanks for providing entertainment for me, really love it! 🙂

      -L

      • Brother_Malachai
        Captain Sillypants
        Comments: 285

        Well, one of the complaints about the Disney Version by reviewers at the time was that he was a borderline “Pretty Boy”/”Fashion Model” despite the Hunched Back and misshapen eyes.

  • ljaylue
    Old Man
    Comments: 3

    Thank you, Phelous! I’ve been watching your work for awhile now and I just recently registered on your website. I love your videos! Your critique on rip offs are really funny.  Keep up the good work.

    Unpopular opinion: Disney’s Hunchback of Notre Dame is so wonderfully done and is underrated. It has a ton of flaws, but hey at least Disney tried to do something bold by discussing religious corruption and lust. I gotta say that with all these Disney recent ‘reboots’ this has got to be the one that desperately needs a clean up. Brilliant book, developed characters and a fantastic villain. I don’t know if you saw  “Top Hottest Animated Characters” by Lindsay Ellis, but Frollo was a huge part of my sexual awakening, judge all you want people, it’s the internet.  (ranked # 1o fyi)  Haha, silly but whatever.

    Again, thanks for providing entertainment for me, really love it!

    -L

    • Drakkenmensch
      Drakkenmensch
      NewbieDotCom.Com
      Comments: 8

      Frollo was voiced by Tony Jay who has what is probably the best villain motivation song ever. It’s pretty clear why the character was so awesome!

  • Drakkenmensch
    Drakkenmensch
    NewbieDotCom.Com
    Comments: 8

    I’m fairly certain that the whole thing feels like such a Robin Hood plot ripoff is because “Sheriff of Notre-Dame” sounded so much like “Sheriff of Nothingham” to these guys and they either couldn’t tell the difference (likely) or just thought “fuck it, it’s for kids anyway” (even more likely)

  • Brother_Malachai
    Captain Sillypants
    Comments: 285

    08:17  What figure is that?  The Hunchback from the “Monster” Line?

  • Brother_Malachai
    Captain Sillypants
    Comments: 285

    Anyone have a decent pic of flying Quasimodo?  I really want to use that as an Avatar.  🙁

  • Brother_Malachai
    Captain Sillypants
    Comments: 285

    Welp, found another thing for Phelous to review.  A Sci-Fi Anime of “The Wizard of Oz” that’s a giant sack of wth.

     

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xs219Q3_-08&nohtml5=False

  • penpaninu
    penpaninu
    CUUUUT
    Comments: 71

    oh man, flashback to my younger sister renting the worst animated things we could find! How do you keep putting up with these, Phelous?

  • Kooshmeister
    Kooshmeister
    I'm THE BEST!
    Comments: 101

    Quasimodo looks like he’s furiously masturbating just below where we can’t see his hands on the cover…

  • OrangeRider
    OrangeRider
    I think we should be enemies
    Comments: 323

    Could you please check out Moses – Egypt’s Great Prince? It’s a mockbuster of The Prince of Egypt made by the same company that’s crazier than this. It has a talking Scooby-Doo knock-off (very ironic considering that the producer of most of UAV’s animated mockbusters also later did lots of the Scooby-Doo direct-to-video movies), Ramses being more effeminate than Fabu from Totally Spies: the Movie, Moses going through a bunch of traps, and him using a Mazinger Z/Tranzor Z-esque breast laser attack to free the Israelites from their bondage (I am not joking, that really happens in the actual movie!). Anyways, I would love to see your thoughts on that movie.

    • OrangeRider
      OrangeRider
      I think we should be enemies
      Comments: 323

      Also, the pharaoh in that movie always says “Pharaoh has spoken” at the end of almost every line he says! So, I know what UAV movie you’re probably going to do next. 🙂

  • Cobalt Fossil
    Cobalt Fossil
    A Real Turtles Fighter
    Comments: 25

    How does Pierre know what a blimp is?